Canularium

Hi ! 30 y.o. She/They. Pan 🌈 Tumblr veteran. ADHD wreck. Welcome to my rollercoaster of hyperfixations 💖 Icon and banner are from the ever-talented @Kkumri 💅

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Cats are great because they just accept that being Bothered by you is like. Part of the social contract.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Unfortunately this contract is reciprocal and they will call due when you are trying to play computer games specifically

[mothermara]

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

[gloomsday]

sent this message to my coworker today and he sent me this screenshot with microsoft teams's suggested replies... incredible 10/10 no notes.

[apathy-in-spades]

Nora was obviously trying to make Jean the sexiest character of all time. He has so many things going for him:

• sexy accent

• rides a motorcycle

• cooks and cleans

• tall, super fit, and ridiculously attractive

• sarcastic and witty

• tough and broody on the outside, but secretly soft and caring

• protective af

Still, his most attractive quality has got to be the fact that...

• HE PUTS THE MARKER BACK WHERE IT BELONGS!

[waugh-bao]

[thememedaddy]

[samreich]

sometimes you have to read your dad's texts and just move on with your day

[breakstar91]

This man’s Jewish father is gonna guilt trip *ME* into calling *MY* parents.

[sighinastorm]

[creature-adjacent]

Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me

They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(

[questionablepastries]

[my-dailydreams]

[viejospellejos]

What the duck?

[humanbeanisnotamused]

[Description: the video is captioned "Find the duck game", and we see several blindfolded women in hijabs groping around an enclosed ring while spectators look on, cheering and laughing . After a few seconds the camera pans so that you can see the duck, who is waddling around, casually yet resolutely resisting capture. Periodically the women collide with each other. They do not find the duck. End ID]

[elvashayam]

#it is a beautiful day in indonesia and you are a terrible duck

tags via @humanbeanisnotamused

[hasufin]

That duck is having the most fun of anyone present.

[weterpete]

Um no I'm pretty sure those are both switches

[prettyaveragewhiteshark]

[monstermonger]

He's worried about stepping on flowers. He loves nature.

[aeroc-alt]

✦ All for the Game trilogy cover redesigns!!

[monsterbutch]

this is one of my favorite reddit posts of all time

[formlessdemi]

God forbid Chippy do anything

[randomdeinonychus]

You absolutely must unmute this video.

[jusjuiceboxbox]

Welcome to being an adult! Featuring such injury causing events as

- sneezed wrong

- turned your neck a little too fast

- slept weird

- took the trash out to the curb and stepped at a slightly different angle than usual

- breathed

- failed to breathe properly

- breathed in the wrong stuff. Allergy time

- looked too hard at something too far away

- knees

[geekerypeekery]

@copperbadge

[copperbadge]

I was gonna add some but I think simply adding "copperbadge" to the list really sums up being an injury-prone adult.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

under US law, it's illegal for anyone who's not a member of a recognised native tribe to own an eagle feather. the penalty is a $100,000 fine.

14 years ago when I had recently moved to Alaska, I went hiking with an Aleut friend, and she pointed to a feather lying on the ground and said "hey that's a bald eagle tail feather, you should grab it!" and I was like "uhh I'm very white and that's very illegal" and she went "they're fuckin everywhere up here man. I have 20." so she grabs it off the ground and hands it to me and says "there, now it's a ceremonial gift from an indigenous person."

and I'm like, okay, cool, I guess this is how we do things in Alaska. nice.

so I keep this bald eagle tail feather around for years. display it in my home among other cherished memorabilia from places I've lived and visited, etc.

on a whim, I have just now looked it up. there is no exemption to that law for a ceremonial gift from an indigenous person. the last 7 years I lived in the US, I was technically a bald eagle poacher.

probably a good thing I don't intend to move back there anytime soon. I wonder what the statute of limitations is on bird crimes.

[hotvampireadjacent]