Well…shit. She did promise honesty, but Lilith didn’t trust herself to be a gentle but firm. As such, more teasing of her hair. Another sigh was soon to follow, one stubborn lock falling near her cheek as Lilith removed her thorn-spiked crown.
Her mouth almost form the wrong name, but with a press of painted lips shortens it.
“Charlie, I can’t…we can’t keep going over this. This always happens. You come up with some plan, it’s dangerous or expensive or…” another press of her lips, trying to find the right word.
It was a cycle, one Lilith had hoped Charlie would grow out of. The roller coaster of the highs of her daughter having a fresh, new idea; her dedication to the task, then…she’d hit a wall. Or several.
And then the low. The frustrration. Heartbreak and dispair. And if Charlie was a wreck from having her daydreams ruined, it tore Lilith to pieces. As Queen though, she couldn’t show that.
“You’ve been indulged for far too long. Been bailed out when your schemes fell through. No more safety nets”
God, it all tasted like ashes in her mouth…
“I can’t stop to give your latest scheme my backing. Especially if you’re going to quit once it gets too hard.”
she knows of this cycle, the crushing defeats, the euphoric highs related to a new idea that was sure to work. she had thought she knew that her mom would support every idea to see her happy, but she guessed not. charlie sighs at the words that stick into her sides like spikes: dangerous, expensive, too ambitious. too ambitious? there’s nothing too ambitious if you had a dream to back it up with.
“what about this is too ambitious? he’s my grandpa, right? what if i convinced him that maybe his guidelines were a little too strict? i’m really really good at getting through to people. i got through to the radio demon himself, if my being alive means anything.
my point is, i can do anything i set my mind to, and it really sucks that you won’t come see it, because i’m not even asking for backing. no money. i just wanted to show off my hard work, that’s all.”
yet the doubt is clear in her expression now, doubt that this will indeed work out how she wants it to. maybe mom is right. then again, a little voice counters, maybe she’s wrong too. keep trying.
“but it’s fine, really. don’t worry about it, i was stupid to even bring it up in the first place. it’s my fault and i’m... sorry for troubling you with it.”
