[maikanna]

Oughh ough auoighhhh aouhhhgghh uuuuuuh

[thememedaddy]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Help I let too much Stuff Without A Home pile up and I'm trying to organise and make new homes for things and every time I look at My Piles Of Stuff I panic

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Every surface in my house looks like this and none of these items have a Place That They Live yet.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I'm going to pretend that I'm playing Unpacking for the next few hours, pray for me

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I own a lot more electrical tape than I thought

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

There's some of last year's dried rosemary under all this

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

So glad I've found six of my missing pairs of scissors. I haven't been able to find any scissors recently so I was about to buy new scissors.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Victory.

I wouldn't call everything"put away", because I need to build specific storage for a lot of this stuff (particularly the garden tools and power tools), but at least everything is consolidated by type and I have surfaces again.

Three more rooms to go...

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#in two hours????#holy shit color me impressed#I would need about four or five for that probably#because of the breaks.

It's really hard for me to Stop A Task unless I get Distracted By New Task

[swordsonnet]

languages that don't distinguish between formal and informal you are missing out on so much petty drama. my grandparents have two neighbours who once got into a huge fight over something honestly pretty trivial, so neighbour A said he was going to revoke neighbour B's du (informal you) privileges. neighbour B was like "okay but can i use du one last time?" and neighbour A was like "yeah go ahead", and neighbour B said "du arschloch" (you asshole). incredible.

[sarahseeandersen]

[tree-whispering]

[ewaneneollav]

repeat after me: people don’t notice the little details. i’m going to get away with it. people don’t notice the little details. i’m going to get away with it.

[3000s]

when i go somewhere on friday people are always like "have a nice weekend" but i work weekends and this is my sunday

sorry i cant get the hi off of my skeleton right now

[magiconic]

Don't worry I covered up the "HI" so no one can read it

[3000s]

thank you, much better

[grimeclown]

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

[grimeclown]

Snakeyes Pete is from Toronto he gave me a button once that said "Canadians have the best luck" and i said i thought that was the Irish and he said "I fucking hate the irish" and i said okay

[fairycosmos]

your aversion to anything earnest or sincere has affected us in the following ways 1. youre annoyinggggggg

[feamir]

[gremlininho]

looking. at you

[blodwyrm]

snapshot from one of Oscar’s memorial paintings i did last year!

[syzygynephile]

Me, trying to impress my date with a display of my boundless humility: I would like to order one single, solitary crumb.

Waitress taking my order: Such arrogance! Not only do you presume to boast under the guise of being humble, but your order employs the most decadent of linguistic excesses - the tautology!

My date, who until recently thought "tautology" referred to the study of tensile strengths and upon learning her mistake compensated by reading through its Wikipedia article: That would be more correctly identified as a "pleonasm".

The editor I hired to curate my posts who styles himself as a sort of scheming court advisor: My liege, this one is getting away from us. The punchline loses much of its impact when the rest of the joke is derailed by this increasingly self-indulgent meta humour. Were it up to me, your Grace, which of course it is not, I would cut the others and leave myself as the only supporting character. You need noone else, Your Majesty...

My card: Declines

[russiawave]

[magistrate-of-mediocrity]

Those am him leafs

[weatherall]

#leaf him alone

[talonboot]

take my mermaid quiz boy

If you were a mermaid, what animal form would your lower half take? Are you a slithery eel, a powerful shark, or maybe a colorful reef fish?

[rikelister]

They're having a romantic and wet date night 🍷

(I'm an unknown artist, please help promote my drawings. Thank you all!)

[mactiir]

Getting up at 6 am IRL: aw fuck it’s so early oh my god

Getting up at 6 am in an rpg: *banging pots and pans together in front of the cobbler’s shop* WAKEY WAKEY THE SUN IS UP I WANT SOME SHOOOOOOOES

[tacomel420]

customers the same in all universes

[mactiir]

this is it. this is the best response i’ve ever received on this post. everyone pack up, go home, we’re done here