After all Zuko’s years of neglect and lack of love, why do they put him with someone as loving as a poisonous cactus? She never would tell Zuko things she admires in him. She would never tell him she loves him. She would never be affectionate towards him. She never said one nice thing about him as a person the whole series. She only says negative things about him. Hasn’t Zuko had that enough? I don’t understand why they put him with Mai. Of all characters… why Mai? It doesn’t compute.
If I can’t have Zutara, give me Ty lee/ Zuko or Suki/Zuko or Toph/Zuko or just someone who will treat Zuko like he’s a person with feelings/Zuko.
I’m not picky!
I just want him happy and not in an abusive relationship.
Uh, Mai openly admits to caring deeply about Zuko, in about a quarter of the episodes we see her in? They’re shown cuddling and Mai legitimately risked everything to help Zuko escape the Boiling Rock and made things worse for herself by stating that she loves Zuko more than she fears Azula? She’s shown to have liked him since childhood? They show legitimately one of the healthiest Fire Nation relationships we see? Like, go ahead and ship whatever you like, but don’t demonized the canon love interest just because you ship them with someone else?
Lol any abuser can say that they love someone. That doesn’t mean they’re not abusive.
I’m not demonizing it for another ship. It demonized itself and I’m calling the writers out on writing something so horrible.
Mai and Zuko’s relationship is purely physical. There is not one instance in which she is there for him emotionally. Zuko tries to make her happy multiple times. Mai has no respect for Zuko. She never says one good thing about him. She doesn’t understand him nor try to. She disagrees with him standing up against his abusive father. She doesn’t even know who he is other than some kid she ogled at when she was six. Their relationship is shallow and cold.
It’s a paragon for male emotional abuse and people’s defense of it is a classic case of dismissing the severity. I think it’s very sad, knowing and loving some victims of female on male emotional abuse in a romantic relationship myself.
Things we see Mai do: -crushing on him from a young age -cuddling with him on a sofa -comforting him over the fact that he wasn’t invited to a war meeting -having a romantic picnic -staying with him at the beach instead of wandering off somewhere more private -yelling at him for attacking a guy for talking to her -comforting him again when he admits that he’s confused -he left her a fucking letter to let her know he was betraying his country and dumping her, the in-universe equivalent of breaking up over text -she interrogated him in a cell to ask for answers, not out of malice -Mai was raised with the same patriotic propaganda as seen in our glimpses of Fire Nation life, of course she’d hold some sense o patriotism -so basically she had the right to be pissed -you could see tears in her eyes when Zuko left her a second time and locked her in that cell -she helped him escape the Boiling Rock alongside two known companions of her country’s greatest enemy -knowing that she would probably be imprisoned or executed for treason, with legitimately no possible gain unless you count telling off Azula -going out of her way to tell a psycopathic lightning bending princess that she loved Zuko more than she feared her.
Things we don’t see Mai do: -manipulate or attempt to control Zuko in any way shape or form. She’s always upfront with him about their relationship and her feelings during it, and she supports him even to the point of endangering herself
Honestly, I actually ship her with Ty Lee and the relationship felt a bit flat to me, but having witnessed and researched abuse, Mai was far from abusive and I’m a bit offended that you’re trying to sell her as the bad guy when about half of season three is meant to show that people are complex and are more than their base character traits.
I’m very offended that you are trying to show that these very abusive things are not abuse, to be honest. All of those things you named do not negate her abusive behavior. Mai never, ever supports Zuko. She only does the opposite. She’s almost equally manipulative as Azula. Azula manipulates her, but that excuses absolutely nothing, nor does her pompous upbringing. I ship Mai with no one, unless they’re also a horrible person, because as Smoke and Shadow shows us, she’d abuse any partner, as she does her new boyfriend, Kei Lo, in that series.
Things we see Mai do:
• The Awakening: Mai tells Zuko that his abuse is “silly” and refuses to listen to his very real worries and fears about facing his abuser again after three years away. Zuko opens up, and Mai yawns at him, tells him “I just asked if you were cold, I didn’t ask for your whole life story.” Then, Mai leaves him alone outside, visibly distraught over a very real fear. She does not care about his life. She does not care about the past three years she did not see him. All she cares about is that when she was six, she thought he was cute, and he’s the prince, so that’s pretty cool to date him. The Awakening is the first scene in which we, the audience, are show their relationship. The only foresight we are shown is in a half-assed comic strip in a magazine only diehards would know about. In that comic strip, Mai also is set up as a manipulative scheme by Azula to be with Zuko. Mai also throws an ice dagger at his head, and laughs when he tells her that wasn’t okay.
• The Beach: Mai ridicules Zuko the entire beginning of the episode. She scoffs at him when he brings her ice cream, and mocks him. She derides him for giving her a shell. She barks at him at the party and orders him around like a dog. She slaps him by the campfire. She screams at him, encouraging Azula and Ty Lee to shout at him aggressively to open up about his strife until he emotionally cracks.
• Nightmares and Daydreams: Mai only cares about Zuko’s royal perks. Zuko is visibly distressed, and all she cares about is fruit tarts. Mai calls the war meeting “stupid” and reminds him “what happened the last time he went to a war meeting”, shoving his failure and biggest regret in his face. When he tries to open up again, she talks about fruit tarts. Mai kisses him on the couch and cuddles, but all they have is physical things. You are using cuddling as a pro to their relationship, but that has nothing to do with what a real, genuine, loving relationship should entail, which is support, love, understanding, and trust. They have none of that at all whatsoever.
• The Boiling Rock: Mai throws things at Zuko. Mai insults Zuko. Mai does not attempt to understand at all why Zuko left. When he explains, she shuts him down, again. She does not care about his dreams, hopes, beliefs, morals, or goals. All of these things are of exemplary importance to Zuko and integral to his character. Mai is gray morally and cares for nothing. Zuko talks about how he has to save his country, and she calls it a betrayal. This shows, beyond doubt, that she does not even know who Zuko is, nor does she care. Zuko told her she stood up to his abuser. Mai should be proud. He did it in a bad way, of course, but he did it to protect her, and she refuses to understand. She does sacrifice her life for him, but it felt like a last ditch to “convince the audience” she did care because it felt like we were supposed to believe she didn’t.
• Avatar Aang: Mai threatens Zuko with implicit violence to stay in a relationship. I don’t care if it was ~a joke~. Would that be funny if Zuko did it to Mai? Reverse the roles in any of these scenarios, and ask yourself, would you be okay with that portrayal if Zuko was a woman and Mai was a man? I don’t see how anyone could say yes. It’s harder to see abuse through a man’s lens due to the way society has crafted it, but once biases are set aside, this relationship is very disturbing.
(I don’t know how you feel about the comics. I think they’re shit, but if they are of any validity to you, it only paints Maiko in a harsher and more abusive light)
•The Promise: Mai abandons Zuko at his lowest moment when he is suicidal and people are trying to murder him just because he didn’t tell anyone he was so upset and felt he couldn’t confide in anyone and he went to his father because he was so low emotionally.
•The Search: Mai is not there for Zuko the entire heart-aching search for his long lost mother, arguably the most important mission of his entire life to him.
•Smoke and Shadow: Oh boy. Buckle up. There are so, so, so many fucked things Mai does in this, I have written several meta on it explicitly. I’ll try to précis for you. Mai exploits a boy who loves her to get to Zuko. Mai witnesses her father attempt to kill Zuko and his entire family, and lets her father go. Zuko asks Mai upfront if her father is leading the coup that tried to assassinate him, and she lies to his face, saying no, therefore endangering Zuko and his whole family’s lives. Mai knows that her father will stop at nothing to kill Zuko, he told her this, and she still says nothing. Mai defames Zuko the entire time. She says he is a terrible fire lord. She says that he is turning into his father. She slanders his choice in friends. When she is forced to come clean for her little brother’s sake, not Zuko’s, or because she feels guilty or scared for him, she yells at Zuko for not instantly sympathizing with her situation and for being upset. This is the definition and paragon of gaslighting. Zuko should have had her executed for aiding and abetting: treason. She never apologizes once to him, instead: she makes Zuko apologize.
Mai is a horrible person. This would be fine, if the narrative did not try to tell us she was a good person. This is gross, and flawed writing.
