even your name is a pale ghost

m, 20s, trying to do my best (they/them) | main: sourbottlebaby | ao3: dustyveins | kofi: meganno

[randalkirkland]

SUPERNATURAL (2005-2020) S12E09 ❃ First Blood

[lavenderprose]

“You can come out to your parents without giving them a list of all the guys you’re fucking,” says Ilya Rozanov, way too confidently for a man who has never actually met Yuna Hollander, who will Definitely Ask,

[goodsongnever]

oh, shane, you are dating someone!! this is great!! can we meet him? (no) can you tell us his name or what he does for a living? (no) can you tell us what city or even country he lives in? (no) can we see a picture? (no) does he have social media? (no) so.... shane, honey, it kind of sounds like you don't have a boyfriend (yes I do, he lives in… some other part of canada, you don't know him) and maybe you're just saying that because you're not ready to date, but honey, you should date! I have a list of men here, I have a plan to get you a boyfriend, I have the NDA forms right here, we'll get you a raya account… (no!!! mom, I do have someone already, I just can't tell you anything about him, ever)

yuna: ah I see, hmm, one moment please, let me bring up an alphabetical list of all 700+ current MLH players. is it aaron a. aaronson???

shane: of course not!! mom!!!

yuna: you know what, of course not, I'm sorry and it was ridiculous of me to even think so. aaron a. aaronson is a second-rate player on a third-rate team, let me re-sort this list so that the stat leaders are at the top and start again from there, haha, here's a funny one to cross off the list right away, I guess: is it ilya rozanov???

[hollanov-ann]

Heated Rivalry (S01E06 - The Cottage)

[young-waverer]

[ultimatekiller]

not here

[uservik]

- v. hugo

[sophsun1]

It's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true. The bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats. And we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies and everybody lives happily ever after.

ANTHONY STEWART HEAD as Rupert Giles

[sircolinmorgan]

Please, one thing, you don’t have to. But..remember me?

[creamsiclemelt]

"How about you tell me everything that's on your mind but in Russian? I won't understand, but maybe it'll help?"

I want to talk a bit about something that's so beautiful in this scene. It's how brave Shane is being. You can see him stop and think, open his mouth and close it before he says anything, scared but pushing through it anyways.

In gif 3, he's pausing and thinking about it, choosing his words careful and then finally daring to ask:

"Maybe you could teach me Russian some day?"

It's 'Because there's going to be a 'some day' Ilya, because we'll last long enough that you can teach me, right? We'll be together? We'll be together long enough for me to learn right? So that I can learn this language, speak your mother tongue to you?'

He's being brave. He's daring to say it. He's telling Ilya he wants this for a long time.

Then gif 9 & 10. He takes even longer, really thinks about it, really thinks about if he can say it. He opens his mouth, closes it, then tries again:

"How about 'I wish you were here right now?'"

Here, he's saying 'I want to be with you Ilya. I want to take away your pain, I wish I could hold you. I can feel it, I can tell how you're hurting and I want to be able to help you. I dream of a world where you can teach me how to say that to you, I dream of a world where we last long enough for me to say that.'

Ilya was brave by putting it all out there like that, saying what he had to. Yeah, he did it in Russian, but Shane knows it still took him being brave too. Even calling Shane like this was brave.

God. They love each other so much and they don't even know it yet.

[90s-kid-sad-adult]

lie to me

[pbeeanjay]

i still pray to you

[vatrenirivali]

1x05 | I'll Believe In Anything

[hollandar]

head caresses

[thisfeebleheart]

from shifty eyes stealing a glance to openly checking Ilya out (insp.)

[lucylehane]

"The sex is when you can be honest."

Jacob Tierney on It's Open With Ilana Glazer

[fluentinbird]

shane hollander - "who are you when you aren't performing?"

Paul Butler, “Untitled (Two with Puck – Red)” - Collage, 2018  / Detail from Kazuo Nakamura, Suspended Landscape, 1967 / Heated Rivalry 1x01 / Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man / Detail from Kazuo Nakamura, Suspended Landscape, 1967/ Heated Rivalry 1x04 / David Hannan, Falling from Grace, 2024 / Paul Butler, “Untitled (Two with Puck – Blue)” / Detail from LEE U-Fan, From Line (1976) / Rebecca Bellmore, At Pelican Falls/ Heated Rivalry 1x02 / Heated Rivalry 1x01 / Sally Prasch, Neon Series / Ocean Vuong, Night Sky with Exit Wounds / Robert Matta, Bleuêtre, 1993 / Heated Rivalry 1x04 / Kazuo Nakamura, Blue Reflections, B.C., 1964 / Heated Rivalry 1x02 / Sally Prasch, Shattered Shell / Heated Rivalry 1x02 / Carmen Maria Machado, In the Dream House / Heated Rivalry 1x02 / Kazuo Nakamura; Blue Morning / Detail from Rebecca Bellmore, At Pelican Falls/ Jennifer Walton, Frozen Lake Series / Heated Rivalry 1x04 / John Steinbach, East of Eden / Koichi Nabatame, Morning Mountain Range

[eddiediaaz]

from absolutely not going for a hug to just hold me