Random Bits O Fluff

[mama00ds]

So I’m halfway through A Nice Indian Boy and Naveen is calling his father. In the background there is a photo (presumably) of a man and a flower. Is that Brett Goldstein?

[augustsgrass]

don’t think i can call it a hyperfixation anymore fam im afraid im just long term insane about this piece of media

[ceebeelamb]

I want Casey and Matthew to say fuck it and make rwrb into a trilogy like Netflix did with those Christmas prince movies. Give me RWRB: The Wedding and RWRB: The Royal Baby

[detectivehole]

[detectivehole]

[deez-nut-free-zone]

They met a gregorian monk attempting not to commit the sin of gluttony

[fair-itself]

That's your takeaway? I was gonna say a wizard split Mr. Bean in two and that was the evil half

[mama00ds]

Submariner

[kirianthedivorce]

Absolutely losing it at this Reddit post

And the update

She buttered Jorts

[anoonzee]

The outrage summed in a perfect Tweet:

[notemily]

FINALLY

I’ve been collecting the best Jorts tweets and waiting until the moment he showed up on my dash to post them. So here you are, the curated best of the past, oh, day or so:

[rhipidurafan]

Some additional quality memes from the past 24 hours:

Meanwhile, OP has continued tracking trash can mishaps on twitter:

And a quality photo of this sweet potato:

[rhipidurafan]

An update for those not following Jorts’ twitter account, starting with a transcription of the Wellerman cover:

Link to the lovely video

There once was a ship that put to sea The name of the ship was the Jorts and Jean The ship she rolled and her closet doors closed Oh no, where’s Jorts? Oh no!

Soon may the smarter cat come To save poor Jorts so orange and dumb One day when the butterin’s done We’ll take our leave and go

When Pam came on, she had a plan To teach our Jorts about garbage cans Pam meant well but her plans fell flat When HR said, “don’t butter the cat”

Soon may the smarter cat come To save poor Jorts so orange and dumb One day when the butterin’s done We’ll take our leave and go

Now Jean the smart cat comes She saves poor Jorts so orange and dumb Now that the butterin’s done We’ll take our leave and go

We’ll take our leave and go

We’ll take our leave and go

Additional quality memes:

A recipe for Buttered Jorts:

Recent Jorts activities:

And some very wise words from the cat himself:

[petermorwood]

This is the largest Jorts post I found before I decided to stop, and combines a lot of memes in one convenient package.

Along with cats, of course. Smartly done!

[calligrafiti]

The person running the Jorts Twitter is using it to promote unions, which is awesome.

[breelandwalker]

FNALLY! All the premium Jorts content in one place!

[senso1954]

this tiktok screenshot ruined my life i need to see the serbian pigeon movie so so badly but it doesn't exist it's so foul to make this bad of a point with something so cool and then take it away from me.

[deseretgear]

Tiktok marvel fans really will be out here like "movie fan SHOCKED because i'd rather watch superhero movie #54 in blue and not a sensual 1987 french horror film about a man discovering his wife may not exist set in what is gradually revealed to be a space station" as if you're supposed to agree that superhero movie #54 is the clear winner in this comparison

[kirbymongerr]

Love the idea of a story about a complex issue that's told from the perspective of something that cannot comprehend or care about the issue. The way the story would be sliced up and moments that a human would consider pointless would be focused on because the pigeon happened to be there would be hype as fuck

[beardedmrbean]

[silken-scarves]

Ok FINE I made the movie poster of it

Mališa, otherwise known as Little One, is a pet pigeon owned by a conservative butler of the Austro-Hungarian aristocracy. She is loved, and she is pampered— until her owner is murdered in cold blood, and she is left to fend for herself in Sarajevo.

In the wilds of the city, she feeds from the poor, working nationalist radicals, and the vieux riches alike.

To Mališa, there are no ethical concerns. No politics. No burgeoning nationalism.

There are only hands that feed her, and hands that do not.

[kelcipher]

[sic-semper-hominibus]

this man found a gemstone the size of a new york apartment on the side of the road and said "sorry im excited about rocks" about it

[mini-wrants]

“This is the most honkin’ skookum rock” bro.

[unfunyman]

i know a lot of people won’t know who this guy is but he’s running a company that’s building electric semi trucks because tesla sucks so bad and they named it Edison Motors because they’re stealing Tesla’s idea.

[i-draws-dinosaurs]

Oh that is 100% the magical prison of the last great dragon or something there is for sure some ancient primordial beast entombed within that thing

[northern-punk-lad]

Important if your in an abusive situation you can turn off this alarm

Please reblog to spread awareness

[rockpapertheodore]

IT people and mechanics are convergent evolutions of different evolutionary branches that developed in vastly different biomes. However, due to the introduction of the invasive Computer - an IT's natural companion, prey, and beast of burden - to mechanics' natural ranges (industrial/automotive machines), more and more similarities between the two species are being revealed through their extended contact with each other, and it is now believed that they may, in fact, be the same species with just wildly divergent temperament and plumage, and a much more specific difference in diet and preference for things to tinker and shit to dick around with.

I think they should fuck nasty and create the ultimate repair crossbreed. A handyman that will become the Liger for a new age.

[nbpsiioniic]

"you can't ship that, it'll never be canon!"

look, when I was your age, we shipped characters who never even met in canon. uphill. both ways. in the snow.

[squishymamasboy]

#shipping is just a more sophisticated way of playing dolls and smashing their doll faces together#we're all clowns and you're no less a clown just bc your dolls are canon

[moth-grrrl-mavis]

My people used to make music videos shipping people from completely different shows with no chance of a crossover. Don't fucking talk to me about noncanon ships. You know nothing of noncanon ships.

[hellenhighwater]

Goodbye, emerald shag. You won't be missed.

[hellenhighwater]

We have solved the carpet problem!

[lew-basnight]

You know, many people would have simply pulled up the carpet and replaced it, but I guess you really hated that emerald green huh

[hellenhighwater]

ERADICATION

[mama00ds]

Just throw a meandering line of red paint down the middle, it’ll be fine

[spacelazarwolf]

ppl who oppose gender affirming care for kids are nuts like the extent of medical intervention for trans kids is maybe puberty blockers but they’ll still be like “SO UR SAYING WE SHOULD LET TODDLERS HAVE TOP SURGERY???????” barbara toddlers do not have a top to surgery

[watches-and-windchimes]

Saw someone asking "so do you endorse giving puberty blockers to five year olds?"

Friend, a five year old should not have puberty to block. If they do that's called precocious puberty and is the original reason puberty blockers were invented. If a five year old is going through puberty I absolutely endorse them being given puberty blockers

[sometransgal]

I keep thinking about that one post that was going around talking about the potential origins of cheese and everyone immediately jumps to it must've been rotten milk that they ate out of desperation. But I'd like to posit that the first cheese was probably someone adding an acid to warmed milk and realising it splits it. Like it's not that big a stretch of the imagination for someone to think "oh I like warm milk but I also like this acidic fruit, I wonder if I can mix them". From there a little experimentation on separating the new curd from the whey and you've got a simple fresh cheese.

I dunno I think the reason I wanted to make this post is just that we tend to desscribe a lot of discoveries around food as desperate acts of starvation and not genuinely thought out experimentations based on observations like every other form of human knowledge. Ancient people weren't stupid starving unwashed masses and it's important to remember that. They were people who could think and deduce and logic their way through things as good as you or I.

[inkskinned]

fucking hate it when the stuff everybody says "actually works" does actually work.

hate exercising and realizing i've let go of a lot of anxiety and anger because i've overturned my fight-or-flight response.

hate eating right and eating enough and eating 3 times a day and realizing i'm less anxious and i have more energy

hate journaling in my stupid notebook with my stupid bic ballpoint and realizing that i've actually started healing about something once i'm able to externalize it

hate forgiving myself hate complimenting myself more often hate treating myself with kindness hate taking a gratitude inventory hate having patience hate talking to myself gently

hate turning my little face up to the sun and taking deep breaths and looking at nature and grounding myself and realizing that i feel less burdened and more hopeful, more actually-here, that i am able to see the good sides of myself more clearly, that i am able to see not only how far i have to grow - but also how much growth i have already done & how much of my life i truly fill with light and laughter and love

horrible horrible horrible. hate it but i'm gonna do it tho

[maculategiraffe]

[denynothing1]

The seething continues.

[catchymemes]

[tearlessrain]

you have to pretend to be a wizard sometimes, for your health. the obvious method is d&d, but you can also open the dishwasher on cold mornings and raise your arms dramatically as you're enveloped in the steam, or you can find a really good stick to walk around in the woods with, or you can run a bizarrely dedicated rp blog on tumblr. but it's an important component of human well being to occasionally pretend to be a wizard.

[scruggzi]

This is absolutely true. When marking a really bad essay I do like to yell 'You shall not pass!' at my tablet in a Gandalf voice.

Makes everything better.

[evilbeast-moved]

ilove people who work at front desks of things. i can walk into a building and go to the desk and i ask how do i do this thing. and then they just fucking tell me !!!!

[evilbeast-moved]

i walked into my college found the first desk and asked hey where do i pay my student fees. did that. ok where i do find the academic advisor? got the general direction, went up to the first desk i saw, asked where to go to drop a class .awesome. went to the bookstore, walked up to the desk, asked how to find out what textbooks i need. and AGAIN they had answers for me. this is so cool thank you desk people

[evilbeast-moved]

no this is so real actually !! it always feels like you'll be expected to know everything when you do Adult Things but you don't, actually, you just need to know who to ask