raisin' hell all over town

Miranda, 35. She/her. Heathen. Feminist. Writer & reader. Friend of Sigyn. Living with Long COVID and POTS.

[mambochocobo]

decided to treat myself to some fake nails (that, yes, I absolutely shortened)

AND I HAVE OBTAINED BOURBON CHICKEN AND EGGROLLS

[mambochocobo]

Ah I didn't know it was your birthday! Happy Birthday, have a great day and enjoy your DBH hell lol

Thank you!!! 🤗

The hell is helling, it's true LOL

[mambochocobo]

Happy birthday!!

Thank you so much! ☺️

[mambochocobo]

hilarious that my father, who claimed to have spent two decades searching for me, has yet to text me on my birthday

but his third wife texted me bright and early this morning

(that's bc his third wife was actually the one who found me and my father did not make that effort, because I'd been in the same damn city my entire life until last year, and my info was easy to find online. he didn't try. hence why I only text him on holidays and his birthday.)

[midnightssea]

I think a lot of people would benefit from unlearning the idea that casual sex is inherently disgusting, harmful, or immoral just because they personally don’t want to partake in it. You can stand up for sexual safety and consent without acting like people who enjoy fucking strangers are degenerates. I take no issue with anyone asserting boundaries or stating that they’re not interested in certain kinds of sex or even sex as a whole. But when you condemn or express disgust at others for engaging in consensual sex, that’s when you start to sound like a puritan.

[midnightssea]

Btw, this includes self-proclaimed “feminists” who shame and lecture women for giving men “access” to their bodies. Bodies are not commodities and sex is not inherently transactional. You don’t lose anything by having sex on purpose with a person you find attractive. Sex is not some metaphysically transformative thing that bonds you to the other person forever. It is literally not that deep.

[sapphling]

let's all have a fun time looking up new words when we encounter them to see what they mean before incorporating them into our vocabularies

[wileycap]

[mambochocobo]

*July 19th, but you get the idea

THIRTY-FIVE YEARS OLD

and my bitch ass is staying inside the house bc it's going to be 99 fucking degrees outside without the heat index 🫠

I intend to watch Mārama later on and maybe get the laptop hooked up to the big living room TV to play a game

[fakelawyerbug]

I've seen a bunch of "fandom etiquette" posts on my dash today and I'm going to say something that is maybe going to be unpopular but;

The absolutely pervasive mentality that unwanted criticism or critique shouldn't be given and should be ignored is why fans of color don't stay in fan spaces.

And I am not going to mince words here:

A lot of you are racist. A lot of your fan works are racist.

That might have been difficult to hear. And if it was, you should probably reflect on why that was.

"Fandom etiquette" has created a space where fans of color either bite our tongues and eventually leave or say something, get dogged on, and then eventually leave.

So much of "fandom etiquette" seems to be about insulating creatives from Feeling Bad and hostility to any kind of negative feedback is a pretty big contributor to why bigotry festers in these spaces.

[iridescentoracle]

#imo the potluck analogy applies- it would be rude to critique someone's icing technique at a potluck bc it wasn't as good as at the bakery #but if they had decorated their cupcakes w hate symbols it wouldn't be rude to tell them that's gross and gtfo #in fact it would be inappropriate to NOT say anything in that situation #or to complain that another guest who did point it out was 'ruining everyone's potluck' #and pointing out racism in fan works is 100% the second thing not the first! (via destructions-daughter)

[swamp-spirit]

There's also a tendency to conflate anyone who critiques general trends with bad faith randos. Like, there is fandom behavior that is 100% racist and should be talked about, but there are also trends of racist/sexist/ableist preferences.

If I say "I am uncomfortable with fandom's tendency to write trans men as feminine and submissive" I do not mean "I think every person who writes feminine submissive trans men should be chased with pitchforks". I don't even mean "any cis-person who writes feminine or submissive trans men should be chased with pitchforks". I mean "I would like writers to seriously think about why this is so common, why they write that, and if it fairly and genuinely engages with what it means to be a trans man, or if they just think it's hot when submissive people have vaginas and didn't want to write omegaverse of m/f".

Similarly, when people say "fandom is systemically less interested in black characters, less willing to give flat black characters rich fanon than flat white characters, and less interested in black characters in ships", the response is not to explain why you, personally, just happen to like popular white guy in that fanon. Your job is to look at yourself and ask if you tend to "just happen to be more interested" in the popular white guy across fandoms, be honest, and start unpacking that. Sometimes it's easier to love the flat character who's already getting 10,000 fics with headcanons and art and meta.

If somebody says "I wish there were more gluten free options at the potluck. I hate always showing up and not finding anything I can eat*", they are not asking you to throw your cake in the trash and weep. They do not want to hear your long speech about how actually this is your grandmother's recipe, and you've tried it with rice flour actually, but it just didn't work. You think about what you can do, and you listen to how they feel.

*The metaphor here not being that you can't read fic that isn't "good rep". The metaphor here is that it can be isolating to be in spaces where nobody is trying to make sure people like you are welcome.

[mambochocobo]

I've reached the consequences portion of the story and I'm just sitting here writing it like

[mambochocobo]

me, gritting my teeth: it's narratively necessary it's narratively necessary it's narratively necessary

[mari-monsta]

why is it that when im reading fanfic i feel like i have a fairly good metric for if something is characterized accurately but when im trying to write suddenly its like ive never seen this character in my life. would he say that. would he fucking say that. suddenly i have no idea

[mambochocobo]

I've reached the consequences portion of the story and I'm just sitting here writing it like

[this-is-amato-heteronormativity]

I had my first appointment with a new therapist today, and when I told her I was aromantic and asexual, her first question was if I had experienced sexual trauma

This is amatonormativity.

Caedrose (people who lose sexual & romantic attraction due to trauma) and stresrose (people who lose sexual & romantic attraction due to stress, mental health issues, or trauma) are valid aroaces, but it is disgustingly inappropriate to ask someone if their asexuality or aromanticism is due to sexual trauma. It is inappropriate to ask ANYONE "do you have sexual trauma" after they come out to you, regardless of what the orientation/identity is.

It doesn't matter that she is a therapist. Making assumptions that someone's orientation is the result of trauma perpetuates the stereotype that aroaces don't exist outside of trauma.

Also, as a therapist, she should know better than to randomly bring up sexual trauma anyways, because not everyone is mentally prepared to delve into that. Even crazier that she did this on her FIRST DAY with you.

[mindy-fit]

[blastingradio]

Now that is some vintage sports goth

[chanel-boots]

This ad is very ominous and threatening.

[raejin99]

[orchidvioletindigo]

Are you fucking kidding me

[badgersandbees]

Every single non trans woman who proclaims to be an ally absolutely needs to be posting about how goddamn transmisogynist staff is.

Because when trans women dare to speak up for themselves, Tumblr nukes their blogs.

We need to be fucking loud about this, daily, because Tumblr staff is specifically targeting and deleting trans women who are not breaking ToS and who often have fundraisers up FOR THEIR SURVIVAL.

By deleting these blogs repeatedly, Tumblr staff is saying loud and clear what they hope happens to these girls.

Are y'all okay with that? Because if not we need to be posting about it more because we have seen by now it's incredibly fucking unlikely this sites moderation will delete our blogs for it because we are not trans women

Tumblr staff and CEO Matt Mullenweg want trans women in need to not be able to post their fundraisers, meaning they are okay with these women dying.

[vin-di-kate-or-deactivated20211]

[writingdose]

i'm sure you get lots of asks but i'm new to the fanfic/tumblr fandom scene. when you say horrific topics like incest and noncon should exist, do you mean they should exist because it happens irl but it shouldn't be romanticized? because if so i agree. i think we should experience reading and/or writing such things. movies and shows have portrayed such acts for years. but i think the problem lies through the fetishization and romanticization of it.

no. I mean romanticize whatever you want. my stance has always been “write whatever you want, however you want.”

not to mention that you can’t always tell if something romanticizes bad things. two people can read the same fic, one can say “this romanticizes non-con”, the other can say, “no, this doesn’t romanticize anything.” it’s all about each person’s interpretation. it’s all subjective.

that said, if someone wants to romanticize bad things in fiction, then go ahead. it’s their rights and their freedom to create whatever they want, however they want. no censorship means nothing is censored, doesn’t matter how it was written/created.

and if these taboo fantasies are someone’s fetish, then as long as they’re not harming anyone in real life, what turns them on is literally none of your business.

incest and cnc kinks have always been one of the most popular kinks, and most people who are into them can separate fiction from reality.

(and if some of them can’t, their inability to separate fiction, kinks and fantasies from reality is not other people’s problem or responsibility.)

fanfiction is not an act of activism. someone’s kink and what they do in bed with their consenting partner is not an act of activism. kill the moral cop in your head. fanfiction and kinks don’t have to be “morally correct”. it can be whatever turns a person on, however turns a person on, and as long as no one in real life is harmed, what they do and how they do it is no one’s business.

you don’t have to be comfortable with it. you don’t have to like it. you don’t have to understand it. you just have to mind your own business and not shame or harass others over fiction and fantasies. because otherwise it’ll just make you a bully who wants to find a “morally correct” excuse to shame and harass innocent people.

[cheaphalloweencostume]

the idea that a sex scene in fiction is fundamentally useless/simply for audience titillation UNLESS they’re fucking infodumping exposition while they bone or something is so funny and myopic to me. like, you really genuinely believe for real that there is NOTHING to be gained about your understanding of a story or characters simply from how they approach and engage in sex? really for real?

[cheaphalloweencostume]

i'm not convinced that art only has something to offer us when we personally want to participate in the activities being depicted