My Eclectic Collection @mameeta - Tumblr Blog

Fanart of Liz from Roswell (1999) ✨️. One of the first tv shows I was obsessed with as a kid. Feel like it was ahead of it's time. 🩵

asexual-juliet

screenshot redraw of the found family siblings ever <3

shadowandbones-deactivated20260

OG Max and Liz aka Dreamer bringing good vibes always brightens my day ❤️✨

maviyenot

mondo-grosso

frenchhoneybee

i’m rewatching Roswell (1999) and Michael x Maria are the ultimate hurt/comfort trope and i love them so fucking much. like Michael has Max and Isabel who want to save him from his abusive foster dad, they make things worse, and who does he go to to be vulnerable?? MARIA because she just lets him BE

and to me they’re an ultimate ship bc they’re very different and have to overcome trauma barriers and they do end up doing that for each other. they fall out but never bc they don't care about each other but bc they care too much and are scared

ughhhhhhh they give me so many feelings!!!!

this scene is what sparked this btw

fieropasto-deactivated20210613

may have found the funniest possible thing ever in this essay on medieval sex laws im reading hold on

fieropasto-deactivated20210613

From Law, Sex, and Christian Society in Medieval Europe by James A. Brundage

wizardshark

This is how tiktok users decide if you deserve to die or not

stereotype-embodier

Wait wait wait

You weren't allowed to be naked???

foone

every time I always want to write a program to do the flowchart for you (if you don't know, a lot of early programming is taught as flowcharts (or at least used to be), so there's a natural flowchart->computer program connection already in my mind)

like it could ask you the yes/no questions, then you enter the date and it calculates if it's one of these dates when it's sin. and it'd be a fun research thing, you know? to go look up what exactly the rules are around those dates. it could be like an apple II program, since it's very simple.

plus you could hook it in with the penances for those sins! so it can also be used for reference. if you accidentally fucked your wife on a feast day, how bad as sin is that? do you gotta only eat bread and water for three years, stay off the ale for 6, and leave the country?¹ or do you just gotta stay on bread & water for a 100 days²?

but then sometimes you gotta realize that you're seriously considering writing BASIC software for Early Middle Ages catholic priests? based on a type of document that went out of favor IN THE TWELFTH CENTURY AD?

yeah I am. I just really like programming and religious miscellanea. this is awesome.

Penitential of Finnian (pdf link), what you gotta do if you kill your friend not out of hatred but because the devil made you do it.

Penitential of Cummean (link), what you gotta do if you puked somewhere and a dog ate it. Some other fun bits of Cummean: If a cleric fathers a child, they should do one year bread and water. Unless the child is a boy, then it's 7 years, get out the country, and no fucking! CHASTITY FOR SEVEN YEARS, CHURCHMAN! Speaking of clerics and not fucking: if a cleric "makes love to a woman [..] in his mind", that's 7 days penance on the bread and water. But if the reason it was only in your mind was because you asked her, and she said no? FORTY DAYS PENANCE, LOSER!

foone

wait. if I'm reading Cummean right, you get less penance for masturbating with a friend than on your own. if "boys of twenty years" masturbate together, it's 20/40 days penance. but if a man masturbates alone, it's 100 days. Huh. I wouldn't guess that hanging out together was the way to make your masturbation less sinful.

Those are first offenses, of course. there's like, a scale you go up if you repeat it.

Also, everyone's favorite "used to be huge, now fallen out of the zeitgeist" type of sex makes an appearance: Intercrural sex! (aka thighjobs). Here called "femoral masturbation", a wild term I've not seen before today.

They're mentioned so they can be not as bad as sodomy. a thighjob with your bro is 100 days, then a year each time you do it again.

While sodomy starts at a year, goes up to two, then three, and then "if it becomes a habit" (and sodomy so easily can become a habit), seven years! and "a method of penance shall be added according to the judgment of this priest". Zero idea what that'd be.

foone

they have a rule about what punishment there should be for if someone gives someone else a liquor "in which a mouse or a weasel is found dead". which seems a very specific situation to write down the rules for, but I don't know what it was like in 7th century Ireland. maybe this was a serious problem.

foone

I think you have to do a penance if you have (either a sex dream or a nocturnal emission, I'm not 100% sure), but only if it's "willingly". I'm not really sure what they mean by that but it's another wild idea.

(the penance is singing, obviously)

(well, singing AND bread and water, but BREAD AND WATER! is the standard penance around here)

foone

I was looking at Paenitentiale Umbrense in Latin and tossed it into google translate and got this:

"Likewise, he who commits this manly crime shall repent for four years"

I DON'T THINK ARCHBISHOP THEODORE OF CANTERBURY CIRCA 700 AD CALLED SODOMY A "MANLY CRIME", GOOGLE TRANSLATE!

foone

I scrolled past "in femoribus" too fast and thought it said "in femboys". Gonna start telling people that's what femoribus means in latin; femboy. yeah, if you fucked a femboy in 7th century ireland, the penance was a year of bread and water.

BTW I just LOVE how they said "in femoribus". This is a translation from 1938! They're too shy to explain what "in femoribus" means, because that was a thing back in british/US academia in the day: you didn't translate anything relating to homosexuality, so that only Educated Men could read about it. We can't have just anyone knowing about thighjobs, you see.

foone

"Of a wife who is a harlot, thus the same man explained"

I chimed in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?"

foone

first millenium germany had some wild problems

foone

I made the program:

💬 0 🔁 3 ❤️ 9 · from that thread about when you're allowed to have sex with your wife as an Early Middle Ages Catholic, I have written an A

foone

I tried to confirm some translation and the Vatican has some original manuscripts but they're a little hard to read

foone

the other version is in Beneventan script? I very can't read that.

foone

"He who is guilty of sodomy in its various forms shall do penance for four, three, or two years according to the nature of the offense."

they wouldn't translate the "three types of sodomy", but I can!

respectively they are:

Anal (four years)

Thighjob (three years)

Handjob/Masturbation (two years)

foone

BTW bestiality ("He who sins with a dog or with an animal") is two years.

So apparently dogfucking is worse than a handjob but better than a thighjob or anal.

(this is from The Synod of the Grove of Victory. Cummean says oral is 4 years, so the same as anal)

BTW I'm not randomly being up bestiality for homophobic reasons, that's literally the verse above Sodomy. The verse above that is momfucking (three years AND you gotta go on a perpetual pilgrimage)

foone

for reference, if a married man sees a naked woman, it's five days penance. unless he's in a bath with his wife and other women, and they all see each other, it's three days.

if an unmarried man sees a naked woman, it's only two days.