Papaya

sometimes the void shouts back // CRINGE CENTRAL BABY!!

[valtsv]

[wilderbas]

6 moons later and I’ve finished the selkie wip I started up in orkney

PRINTS

[occudo]

They wear suits, but they don't even know basic etiquette.

inspired by @cowardsexual 's post of a very sleepy phm science team and Grace's teacher instincts

[cowardsexual]

stratt and grace and the rest of the phm science team running on 4 cumulative hours of sleep at an unscheduled conference. dimitri and lokken are trying to explain a new complication in the hail mary's fueling system and the resources necessary to iron it out but they keep getting interrupted by government officials butting in until grace (who doesn't even look up from his laptop and checked out of the conversation two days ago) snaps "we raise our hands to speak"

complete silence for like 3 seconds. the french prime minister sheepishly raises his hand and stratt smiles for the first time that week (grace buries his entire head behind his laptop screen for wont of a better option, like jumping straight into the sea)

[lavenderprose]

Hello Maggie! May I humbly request more lists of things that Shane says (like the mic'd up compilation)? ONLY if you feel like it, of course! I just feel like I get to know Shane so well and I learn about hockey culture through your posts like that and I love them so much. No pressure!! ok thanks bye ❤️🙈 - krb

Hmmm OKAY yes I think I have a few more:

- "Luca come here. Let me see. Open your fucking mouth, kid. Okay yeah, he's bleeding, tell them to give that fucker double, Ilya--"

- "Yeah so like...you eat the food with your hands. No forks. No, they give you this bread. Yeah it's good. Kind of spicy."

- "Hey buddy. Nah, not much. Jackie and the kids good? That's good. Surprised you're not part of the scrum. Yeah he told me he was gonna try to fight you tonight."

- "Ha, no, stay there. I don't wanna hear it. No, I don't want you to whisper it either. Save it for the power play."

- "Can you do this with your pinky? Yeah. Huh, maybe it's because I've broken mine. Hey, Bood, can you do this with your pinky? Huh. Chouinard--tap Chouinard--hey, try to do this--"

- "That ref fucking hates me and you know why--you fucking KNOW why--no I will not calm down!"

- "Yeah it was nice, but I don't think we'll go back. I dunno. It rained the whole time and Ilya said it made him feel homesick. No, like, for Russia. Yeah. Big sad Slavic eyes the whole time. And he's, y'know. My guy. When he's sad, I'm sad. Nah, that's not sappy, that's just marriage, man."

- "Hey, did you know that the point of hockey is actually to keep your blades on the ice? Yeah it helps. You can't go as far skating on your nose."

- "Aw shit, buddy, did he get you? Did my husband use his big stick to put you on your back? Aw man, bud, I dunno. Sounds kind of gay."

- "No, it's fine, not broken. Don't fuss. I'll tell you what I said later. No, later. Uh-huh. You get it. Eyes on the game, Rozanov."

- "Aw, fuck, he threw a blade. Oh you are not serious. Why is he crawling. COME ON, THIS IS WHAT WE LEARNED THE POWER PULLS FOR--"

- "Oh, kiss cam. You know, I asked them not to--helmet, Ilya. I said you could kiss my helme--mmm. Fine."

- "Say that again about my fucking family, motherfucker! Say that shit again! I'm not gonna let you fuckers play like that anymore!"

- "No, shh, I'm still mic'd. Wait until Sarah comes to take it. Ilya, I said no--shh, okay, it's on the right side. Careful, fuck! If you break the mic because you're too...eager...they'll never mic either of us up again."

[cuppydogshane]

if either of them is saying that "you better not wear those little shorts around me unless youre trying to drop em" line from the snl weekend update bit its Shane right

[the-irreverend]

And stay safe everyone!

[raspberrytartt]

Ok time for me to talk about one of my favourite unexplored areas in heated rivalry. And that is the specific Experience that Shane has of being the kind of player he is, as in being THE best and bringing in multiple cups, and playing for Montreal. Like. Like I cannot express to those who have never been near it what the hockey culture in Montreal is like. If you think Sidney Crosby is Canadas Beloved Darling, if he had done for Montreal what he did for Pittsburgh he genuinely would be a god. Like I’m not even kidding Montreal would start a new fucking religion if a hockey player ever did what Shane did for them in the books. THREE CUPS? Two of them back to back? After an over 15 year drought? They have the best hockey player in the world on their team? yeah statues are going up shrines are going up like he would be the fucking Pope of Montreal. Actually no he would be the goddamn Beyoncé of Montreal. Like I need you guys to go look up what the bell centre looks like when the habs play a home game. I need you to look up what it looks like when they play an away game and EVERYONE GOES AND WATCHES IN THE EMPTY ARENA. And they’re so loud it registers as a MINI EARTHQUAKE. The hockey fan culture in Montreal is truly unique in that it’s uniquely fucking insane and I would LOVE to see how that affects Shane seeing as he would be basically viewed as their Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Like to Montreal he is the (hockey) messiah come again.

[hockeyfinches]

i think if jackie had a gay brother. sorry about this post in advance. but i think if jackie had a gay brother hayden would (despite his best efforts) spend so much time & energy idly imagining a world where shane was gay, and in this world he could set gay!shane up with jackie’s gay brother and then they’d get gay married and he, hayden, could be shane’s best man and eventual brother-in-law. they could live on the same street directly opposite each other and hang out all the time. spend the holidays together. they could play nba 2k16 in gay shane’s basement. a beautiful rose-tinted future that comes crashing down around him whenever he shows up to practice and has to watch shane spit on the ice and surreptitiously send a photo of his jockstrap to boston lily when he thinks nobody is looking. of course shane isn’t gay. what the hell is he thinking

[lesbianrozanov]

toddler shane refusing to talk after his hockey team lose a game. yuna & david are trying to be encouraging like “bud!! you played so good!!” and shane is ignoring them while climbing into his car seat where he’s going to angrily drink his juice box and then chew on the straw.

[flyora]

Couldn't miss the chance

[snail-mail-33]

dumb questions the Boston Raiders would (want to) ask Ilya about gay (sex) if they knew about Hollanov

Does it still count for the playoffs sex ban if it's with a dude? You know, like the poophole loophole. No I'm not asking for me! Wait that's not why you picked a man right?

Can I bring my girlfriend when we go to Boston Pride? Or is that not allowed?

Do you guys just get to leave the toilet seat up at home?

Are men better at sucking dicks?

Wait so were you lying about liking Dunkin too because I thought gay people prefer Starbucks?

Aren't you sad you'll never be able to do to it raw? And the follow-ups: doesn't it make your dick smell like ass? Wait but you never have to worry about getting pregnant that's awesome bro.

Are you going to make me vote now?

How can you tell you're like actually into dudes? Because like I can look at a dude and go “yeah he's hot” but I don't want to bang him

Aww man you must miss pizza. Because of the gluten. I thought gay people can't have it?

If you got married who would be the groom?

If you could suck your own dick, do you think you'd be more turned on by having your dick sucked or by doing the sucking?

Does this mean they'll let us in the gay clubs now? Because we've got a gay.

So who nags you to put your socks in the hamper? Dude you guys must have socks everywhere.

Did you just bang all those chicks so people wouldn't think you're gay? Because I think you might have overdone it bro.

Is that why Hollander randomly started dressing well? Because he turned gay?

Who sends you the flags? Have you got yours yet?

How the fuck did you know he was gay before you hit on him? Or have you just been trying to pull half the league and Hollander's the only one that took the bait. Wait did you hit on Scott Hunter?

(drunk and emotional) please don't have Hollander’s babies until after you've retired. We need your body for hockey

I just can't get my head around what you guys do together. Like do you just hang out doing dude shit and then fuck? Like do you play Xbox and then suck each other off? Because that sounds awesome.

Have you ever got turned on by your own dick?

I thought you had to go to college to be gay?

[yorickless]

there's this account on bluesky that just randomly samples the last reply someone made before getting blocked by the person they were replying to and it's a really good gimmick blog concept. I don't think tumblr data is public enough to make this possible here unfortunately. some samples:

[isoddtosay]

[iri-desky]

When you get past all the political stuff/heinous crap, there are QUITE some gems on here

[46-reasonable-hamsters]

[exuviator]

[stardustdiver]

[lliveonthesunn]

i get why people don't believe in marriage as a social construct but legally it is the best and easiest way to say "this is who i trust to take care of me when i can't take care of myself" and i'm so glad gay people fought for that right bc when shit gets scary at least i know im in good hands

[william-s-churros]

i think i saw a movie like this once

[maidslime]

Ok I needed to know the story and

Guy makes a really stupid decision and gets in a car accident -> no real damage from accident but insurance goes up -> starts beating himself up over his stupid decision -> gets depressed -> starts to realize he's single and had crash been worse he'd die alone -> realizes he's never had a relationship or even a crush and starts wondering what he'd want out of a relationship -> starts to realize he doesn't really like girls so he thinks he must be gay -> realizes he likes girls and boys about the same amount, so he must be bi -> later realizes that "same amount" is none at all -> he's ace

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[ndnbutch]

personally I am of the opinion that vegans who are like “the way our food system currently works under capitalism on a large scale is exceptionally cruel to all animals including humans and is not sustainable, so I’m doing what I can to make the most ethical choices available to me about what I eat and encourage others to do the same” are generally very reasonable people who I agree with in spades. but vegans who seem to think human beings are not themselves animals who are ultimately also part of the food chain but instead some kind of other paternalistic higher entity that can never engage in ethical and sustainable hunting practices (and especially the fringe I’ve seen who think other carnivorous animal predators are also evil and need to be eliminated) are people I regard as foolish at best if not actively anti-indigenous and racist

[sometiktoksarevalid]