This Tall to Ride

Mental illness, doll things, some drug/addiction talk, shitposting, horror, poetry, philosophy, and some misc. edgy stuff that I refused to grow out of. Occasional NSFW warning!

[plastiboo]

[xiranjayzhao]

Nessie @raccoonmilf, founder of the original Dashcon (who came up with the idea at 15 and then had the project hijacked by a bunch of adults who exploited her for child labor 😭) in a Marie-Antoinette-inspired Ball Pit Queen outfit constructed by herself + me as Yugioh Robespierre, at the incredible post-cringe redemption that was Dashcon 2.

We did NOT plan this coincidence but once we realized it we did plan that little failed revolution quelled by Sir @strange-aeons at the Closing Ceremony!

[strange-aeons]

🗡️🗡️🗡️

[zegalba]

Serial Experiments Lain (1998)

[akashicrecord]

hey sexy what time do you plan on being done grieving

[mousidy]

oh, honestly I was planning on reopening the same wounds again and again and again and again and again and again and again

[sailorcuba]

the purest form of serotonin is when a cat looks at u and u go like “what?” and it meows at u

[arborealgargoyle]

like, that is a very unspecific response I still have no idea what you want but I applaud how adorably you meowed all the same, well done

[arborealgargoyle]

This post led me to reminisce on the nature of cat’s meowing, and I have a funny story

I befriended a feral cat once who had spent her life in the forest without human interaction. I was worried about her because she had a paw damaged from an old injury and was emaciated but obviously nursing kittens that were hidden away somewhere. It took me weeks of putting out food and sitting across the yard every evening for her to trust me even a little and when she decided we were friends and she expected dinner every night she started coming to my door and trying to call for me in the evening, but she didn’t meow. Why would she? Cats only meow naturally as kittens when their vocal chords/ears aren’t fully developed, adult cats communicate with vocalizations that aren’t audible to humans. She probably tried making noises I couldn’t hear to call me but ended up sticking to the one I always responded to- a horrible yowling growl that she had made at me when we first encountered each other in the forest. Except once we were friends she would make this noise while purring and rubbing affectionately against a nearby tree or the porch railing (because she didn’t want to touch me yet). This understandably freaked my family members out but I was touched that she had taken the time to find a way to basically yell FUCK OFF in an affectionate way.

Fast forward to when she finally trusts me enough to bring her hidden kittens out of the forest to me, long story short I gained their trust and put them in this big pen, that I had previously used to keep chickens in, so they’d be safe and to keep her from having another litter. Except she was already secretly pregnant again! (Fix your pets, guys, they make SO many babies) and ended up having her new babies in this pen. I kept my distance, sitting on the outside once they were born until she seemed comfortable enough to let me come inside. The kittens were a bit wild, hissing viscously at me as soon as they opened their eyes, but they warmed up to me. There were four of them and soon they all wanted to be the center of attention during the twice daily play sessions. I’d be playing with one and another would meow insistently behind me and I’d immediately answer them and give them love, teaching them that humans could be friends that answer their needs- making them adoptable once they were weaned. Mama cat (Artie) would just watch me play with them, and I guess she was doing some thinking because one day when they were about a month old I was playing with them and one meowed behind me. I was confused because I hadn’t realized there was a kitten behind me and when I turned, there wasn’t. The only cat there was Artie looking at me really intensely. I turned back around to the kittens and I heard the meow again, I turned back to Artie and responded in the way I always did with the kittens “yes baby?” And she meowed again in an exact imitation of her kittens! After that she would.not.shut.up. It was like she had cracked some kind of code, meowing for attention and snacks and just to say hi. Her two older kittens, the ones she’d had in the forest, had never meowed at me either but started to once they saw how I responded to their mom. and I find it endlessly fascinating because before that it had never occurred to me that cats only meow at humans because they were taught by other cats to keep meowing past kittenhood because that’s the best way to get a human’s attention.

Imagine befriending some weird giant with the wrong number of legs that you met in the forest who seems nice enough but doesn’t seem to be able to hear you, until your friend explains that all they can understand is fuck off! And I’m a baby give me love!

[manicpixiedreamtwink]

Went through detox again, but I finally decided to take the docs up on a follow-up inpatient setting, which is a sort of assisted living situation for recovering addicts. So I've been sober now for about 19 days! You can leave this place too (the stability unit!) And we're required to attend at least 5 supportive meetings per week. Tonight, I'm going to an AA meeting called Connect the Dots, which is apparently based more on Buddhist principles, should be really cool!

[largishcat]

i forgot to post this but which one of you lame ass nerds works at my dentists old office

[skyberia]

here's a list of programs/sites/whatever that were helpful to me when i was moving away from using spotify & back to downloading music:

soulseek - peer to peer downloading program, has most music you'd want. there's "rules" to it though and the UI is a little confusing, but you can figure it out. there's tutorials. i believe in you

cobalt.tools, ytiz.xyz, yt-dlp - mp3 downloaders, for the songs that you can't find on soulseek

musicbee - music player, extremely customiseable. reminds me of when i used itunes back in the day. has a lot of good features, including syncing music over to your phone

lastfm & listenbrainz - sites that keep track of your listening stats. i'd recommend this even if you still choose to use a music streaming service

syncedlyrics - cmd thing that gets you timed song lyrics, like the ones spotify has. there's no UI but it's easy enough to use. just grab the lyrics and timestamps it spits out and paste it into musicbee

music presence - program that shows what song you're listening to in your discord status, in case you use discord and enjoy the thought of other people seeing what you're listening to, which i do for some reason

i'm not going to lie to you and say that switching away from spotify/streaming services is an effortless task, it took me half a whole day of nonstop Work to get all my music downloaded and sorted out, but i will say that it was worth it!! and you should do it 👍 if you want to

[manicpixiedreamtwink]

My boundaries were never really respected growing up, so now it's not impossible, but it's extremely difficult sometimes to comprehend other people's, especially if they're not clearly stated. I know people hate having to spell it out, and you might be worried you're being belittled (or belottling me), but please tell me if I've done something that violated your boundaries, because I really only see them half the time.

[udrewstarsaroundmyscars]

i go from "i didn't deserve the things that happened to me" to "there is no suffering that I do not deserve" in like 3 seconds

[avoidantgirlfriend]

"it doesnt really matter" *proceeds to puke from anxiety*

[bpdworld]

[castformi-deactivated20241025]

dystopia au where we are all assigned one of two chosen genders at birth

[peppylilspitfuck]

Thanks to ultrasounds, the genders can be assigned before birth.  The people are so excited to conform they throw “Gender reveal parties” to make sure their offspring exist in a strict binary since before they can even form thoughts. 

[slightlykylie]

Children are color-coded according to their binary assignment. 

[darkersolstice]

One of the genders is seen as inherently inferior.

[yothobro-deactivated20200505]

This all sounds really effing creepy when you put it that way

[rooksandravens]

#BECAUSE IT IS

[fuckyeahfeminist]

And if you deviate from the assigned gender you can be disowned by your family, fired from your job, and beaten by authorities.

[butch-king-frankenstein]

unfortunately this comment a TERF made on one of my posts is genuinely hysterical

[hopepunk-humanity]

“Humans are inherently selfish--" Then why do so many cultures value hospitality, to the point of dictating it in their religions? Why is it so common for hosts to offer their visitors their best food, and as much of it as they can? At some point, multiple cultures decided that they knew what it felt like to be alone and vulnerable, and promised each other to never let those who stay with them feel that way. That doesn't sound very "inherently selfish" to me.

[wolfsteax]

"humans are the plague"

No. Humans are animals as much as the fish and the bear. We are pack animals who have survived by strong bonds and community.

Do not buy the lie that humans are inherently evil. Societies can trick you into believing this, but it's not the truth of humanity.

Humans crave being together, sharing together, and thriving together.

Capitalism just wants you to believe we're destined for selfishness.

[bakugames]

a weird thing is that we got waves of people going "who cares if its cringe or youre annoying! have fun!" but no one really learned how to accept the fact that some people will find you annoying or think your art or your work or posts or anyrhing sucks and thats ok. rather it just became a weird "if people think youre annoying theyre just morally bad. let people enjoy things!". like no i think this yes man only biome sucks and people are allowed to not like artstyles and shows and media and other things

[bakugames]

if youre an artist, a creator, or just someone whos involved in hobbies: learning that no matter what you do, some people will find you annoying is extremely important for your mental health, just as learning that not liking things is normal and youre allowed to do it

[bakugames]

as people have mentioned in the tags, i think this yes-man attitude leads more people to make up random moral reasons to dislike things. if disliking something for no reason is bad, then you have to constantly justify yourself as to why this thing sucks, which is also not mature and sucks

[totheoneswhostayupallnight]

Constantly switching between healing and complete self destruction