Resolution 4: Big Sky Dream โ Sometimes we don't fully understand how childhood trauma can affect our lives, and shape our outlook. โ For me, it was the conviction that I would be dead by the time I was 37. โ I didn't know this for a long time, but this is a common belief for children who grow up seeing young loved ones die from disease. We internalize the idea that we are on a shorter timeline than everyone else. โ The internalized knowledge of my imminent death date meant I planned, and dreamed life to 37 - never considering that I would have to worry about old age. โ Fast forward to now. I am 42 and still here. Saying, โWhat now?โ โ The dreams I had set for myself - to be a published writer, create policy change (worked on the City of Toronto Human trafficking and forced marriage files), presented at over 10 conferences, been on TV and radio, had my poetry published on the TTC, working for myself, working on global causes - I did them all. โ Now I am confronted with the question, "What now?" โ How do I plan for a life I never accounted for? And more importantly, how do I face the decisions I made betting on temporality? โ My January was tough, as I was confused and stuck on my โwhat nowโ. โ Luckily, a good friend challenged me. She told me, โI know you have more dreams than that. I know for sure you dream of the beach and sunsets over the water. She said: Be proud of what you have accomplished because it's incredible. Stop limiting your dreams. Dream Bigger!โ โ I am not sure what that looks like, but I have committed to figuring it out this year. โ What's your big sky dream? โ โ #poembymanivillie #mypoeticheart #poemsbymanivillie ##spilledthoughts #poemcommunity #writeyourheartout https://www.instagram.com/p/CZzkaIDFX6h/?utm_medium=tumblr