Mapache Life

English Language Teacher // Slight obsession with languages // Living that trash panda life with all the grace you'd expect

[mapachelife]

I got flagged for adult content?? 

Really????

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Frankenstein got written because Mary Shelley was the only person in her peer group to finish Nanowrimo

[dumbthinmint]

Wasn’t her peer group full of horny frat boys who were constantly having parties and in her desperation to have one chill day with no one trying getting all handsy, she mentioned that there’s this writing thing and vaguely insinuated that they wouldn’t be able to do it and then all the boys were like “YES I CAN JUST WATCH” and at the end of it all Mary Shelley finally had time to write about this idea she had dreamed about without some dumb horny boy trying to tell her how women should be in his bed instead of writing?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

that is technically an accurate historical recap, yes

[not-as-bad-as-frankenstein]

Also, while stuck with all these intellectual dude bros who were constantly going on about how great they all were, she wrote a main character who thought he was the greatest and smartest but then refused to take responsibility for anything leading to the destruction of his entire life.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

ahhahahaahahaha

[mapachelife]

teachers at the end of winter holidays

[the-future-now-deactivated20170]

That’s Louis Rossman, a repair technician and YouTuber, who went viral recently for railing against Apple. Apple purposely charges a lot for repairs and you either have to pay up or buy a new device. That’s because Apple withholds necessary tools and information from outside repair shops. And to think, we were just so close to change.

Follow @the-future-now

[dopeluminarydreamer-blog]

Reblog if you:

Have an iPhone and are in need of repairs

Have a friend with that problem

Hate Apple and are more than happy to spite them in some way

No one will know which is it

[lubricates]

important!!!!!

[profeminist]

“Oh sweet, poetic justice. Kyrsten Sinema, the first openly bisexual Senator in U.S. history, has been sworn into office using a law book instead of a bible by Mike Pence today. #116thCongress #swearinginday”

-  Farrah Alexander‏

#BlessedImage #BiVisibilityNotErasure

[ayeforscotland]

Tom Leonard, Scots Poet, August 1944- December 2018

[stability]

I wish i would’ve thought of this when I was in school

[theequeerstrian]

That’s the most Chaotic Neutral Parent thing I’ve ever heard

[mapachelife]

My dad once signed something then asked me if it matched what I’d been forging or if he needed to re-do it.

[charlesoberonn]

At my funeral, I’m gonna hire somebody with a scar to look over my body and audibly whisper “I should’ve been the one to finally take you out.”

Alternatively, they could also whisper “They won’t get away with this. I’m gonna finish what you started, old friend.”

[meesterblu]

They’ll have instructions to read the room and choose which they deem best fit

[sunflowerseedsandscience]

REBLOG IF NAZIS OFFEND YOU MORE THAN NIPPLES.

[batmanisagatewaydrug-deactivate]

can’t wait for the final boss battle of duolingo when you fight the 50 foot owl armed with nothing but your wits, a sword, and your shaky grasp of verb conjugations

[batmanisagatewaydrug-deactivate]

oh my god… duel lingo

[worldsentwined]

Die Eule habe hat Hunger

True to form, I actually messed up the verb conjugation when I first put the words on this. XD

[batmanisagatewaydrug-deactivate]

holy crap

[smushee]

There’s this girl at my school and she’s really nice and I remember sometime last year at one point she would carry a clicker around and click it everytime she had a happy thought/something good happened/she laughed etc. It was always kind of cute how you’d just hear the little click every once in a while throughout class it always made me smile knowing that it was bc something made her feel happy idk

[blackwoolncrown]

she was training herself to be happy oh my god

[aureliaborealis]

does it work???? Imagine feeling yourself slipping into depression and you just click a few times and your brain says “wait, this is the sound of happiness I have to release serotonin”

[thebigblackwolfe]

She fucking Pavlov’d herself, the absolute madwoman

[mypolitics]

[the-mad-prince-of-denmark]

Fucking All joking aside Baby Ian McKellen is, physically speaking, The Best Hamlet I’m a lesbian, I can say it

[thunderingtyphoons]

#I’M CLAUDIUS LOOKING DIRECTLY INTO THE CAMERA LIKE #GET A LOAD OF THIS TWINK

[there-is-still-some-liquor-left]

hamlet’s dad: son you need to avenge me

hamlet: oh ABSOLUTELY

hamlet for the next four and a half acts:

[spanishskulduggery]

what's it like to be fluent?

[scaredykyleisgonnagosoon]

So I was taught a lesson in how to get rid of a migraine in 30 seconds and omfg listen my migraines don’t go away ever but I was shown what part of my body to touch and like???????????????

It’s witchcraft????????? Like I would be burned at the stake if I lived in ye olde days knowing that information?????

What the fuck??????

[countrygirlil2015]

Spill it! Lol….Hooooowwwww?? Had migraines since age 9….😓😓😓

[scaredykyleisgonnagosoon]

Its called the T4 push, but I literally can’t find the info online????? I guess I’m not searching good enough? These medical fuckers are holdin out on us lol.

It’s best to have someone do this for you while you stand up and relax your muscles as best you can, but if you’re alone, a tennis ball and a flat surface will probably work. Alternatively you can lie on the edge of a bed at the pressure point. (But no really do try to find someone to do it for you)

Find the area in your spine between either the first, second, third, or fourth vertebrae. It should be sore and uncomfortable to press down on, so look for the one that’s most painful, and press down with as much pressure as you can on that area for 30 seconds.

Realize that 80% of your pain has magically disappeared and keep the info secret if you live in a small puritan town, lest you be tried for witchcraft.

If you don’t have to worry about being burned or hanged, then share the info with your migraine suffering friends.

[systlin]

As someone who wrote a 10k word paper on pressure points for a high belt ranking test in her martial arts class, I can tell you that you just found a pressure point used in acupressure and acupuncture to relieve pain, particularly that in the head. :)

[arirashkae]

Hand to god we discovered this by accident when my husband was rubbing my neck and I nearly collapsed it felt so good

[blame-my-muses]

This post was sent by literal angels??? I’ve had a persistent low-level headache for nearly 24hrs and now it’s gone??? In 30 seconds? What gods did you sacrifice to for this information!?!?

[river-rider-with-cats-deactivat]

As a medical massage therapist, I thought I would give my two cents.

This is good for tension migranes and normal migraines, but actually pretty useless for sinus migraines. It’ll help for a hot second, but quickly come back. (These are usually the migraines behind your eyes, in your ears, and behind your forehead. Sometimes it can feel like jaw pain or TMJ) for sinus migraines, behind the ear in a divot. Press down firmly and pull towards your collarbone. That’ll drain your sinuses. Also, pressing around the eye socket on the cheekbones help. There is also a little triangle up away from the eye in the eyebrow bone. Press and hold pretty hard and that’ll relieve that behind the forehead pain. Also, ear pulling is great to help move sinuses around.

Don’t forget the temples too! Press firmly and hold. Open and close your jaw while holding your temples. It’ll feel weird, but it’ll help with jaw pain. It’ll work a similar way if you hold the jaw joint under your cheekbone.

And never underestimate the power of a foot massage!! Give minutes can be all the difference!! Our feet are our base. If they hurt even a little, somewhere else in your body will hurt. Treat your feet and sinuses kindly!

[thenudewitchofthenorth]

As a lifelong sufferer from frequent migraines I will reblog this everytime I see it, for myself and my fellow sufferers!!

[blackbearmagic]

my favorite Millennial Thing™ is when a group of us are standing around and talking and someone asks a question that no one knows the answer to and suddenly it’s a race to get out your phone and google it and be the first to know, and then someone starts reading the Wikipedia article about the thing aloud to everyone else, and what started as a casual conversation is now A Learning Opportunity and we all walk away a little more knowledgeable about a random topic

Like, Boomers hate when we do that, but I think it’s one of the best things about us.

So long as we have internet or a cell signal, all of the world’s collective knowledge is at our fingertips, and damned if we aren’t going to use it.

[happierthandignified]

My dad always get mad when I do this. He’s always like “We didn’t need to know.” That makes no sense to me. Why would that make me ignore my ability to learn something? I don’t always *need* to know but that doesn’t mean I’m going to pass up an opportunity to learn something new.

[ralfmaximus]

Why carry a supercomputer around in your pocket if you’re not gonna use it?

[mapachelife]

My friend and I both have the etymology dictionary linked on our phones like we honestly do things like NO LET ME EXPLAIN THE WORD AMPERSAND to each other in bars and it’s great