free fall with me

30. Youtuber. Streamer. Nerd. Tattooed little Orleanian pixie with flame-kissed hair and a smile for days. ((Secretly dating Axel Mathis))

[marcie-pan]

axelmathis‌:

EXCUSE ME… Do I get a signed copy? 

You wanna come join the crowd of marcie-pan fans? 

Kidding. I won’t make you do that. I can get you a copy next time we have a movie night! 

[marcie-pan]

Pretty stoked to announce that Skin and Earth is now available as a hardcover collective book! I’ve got a signing this afternoon at Blastoff Comics. Anyone wanna do something after? Between Spider Man and Shadow of the Tomb Raider coming out, I feel like I haven’t seen anyone in ages! 

[greyson--matthew--sixx]

Hey good people of The Network. My hooman and I would like to bless you with his adorable face. I’d like to personally introduce myself. I am Banjo. I’m the fluffy adorable one. My man friend, Oliver is the not so fluffy one. He’s very kind and welcoming of new people so that’s enough from me. We love people and can’t wait to see you!

[marcie-pan]

Well look at that fluffy face! Welcome to the network, both of you. I’m Marcie. Are you new to LA, or just us?

[zephyr-dresden]

Now, I know that I don’t normally talk about my feels and all of that good business, but I guess that’s a bad thing? At least that’s what I’ve been told, so I guess I could give this a go in hopes of having an answer?

Ever since I came back I’ve been feeling really anxious about like, everything? I’m not even doing anything half the time and my entire being is just “Oh! Better panic!” and I don’t know what to do about that. Hints? Advice? I’ll take anything at this point.

[marcie-pan]

I don’t know if it helps, but it’s okay to not be okay sometimes. Everyone has moments feeling anxious, angry, depressed, and any other emotion we’re often told to push of to the side and ignore. You’re not alone in your struggle. 

I live by the water because when I first moved back and felt so low, the ocean was so calming to me. Any time I felt overwhelmed by emotions, I listened to the sound of the waves. I know music might be a bit difficult for you still, but you can reclaim that! I pull out my guitar and just play whatever comes into my head and my heart sometimes... you could reclaim that. 

Aaaand you can always text your best friend Marcie. 

[thegirlnamedgia]

It has been incredibly amazing to be back in LA with everyone, and I want to thank all of you for making the transition so simple. It was as if I had never truly been gone, so it’s been wonderful to have something that feels so constant.

It has been a few weeks now, and I’m happy to say that my father is fitting in like he’s been in Los Angeles his entire life. He already has a special coffee place where they know his order as soon as they see him, and considering the population and the amount of people they see in the run of a day I would say that’s quite impressive. 

What are some places that people like to go? I’d like to show him some highlights of the city!

[marcie-pan]

Aww, Gia! That’s wonderful to hear. I bet they just adore him. Have you taken him to Griffith Park and the observatory? The Getty is a bit of a drive, but it’s beautiful. You know me though, I’m a beach girl. I’ll always recommend Santa Monica and the pier, Venice and the canals, or a drive up the PCH. Where all have you two ventured so far?

[genaya-salazar]

Disappeared for a little while. I had a few things I needed to clear my head, think some things over, and take some time to just be not doing anything. 

I think I’ve mostly got a grasp on things now. Who wants to hang out?

[marcie-pan]

You wanna have a mini adventure with me and Zephyr? I have no idea what’s on the itinerary, except for ice cream of course! We could take a day trip up to Malibu or down to Disney? Any ideas?

[marcie-pan]

zephyr-dresden‌:

I love that you’re so in love and I love this sneaky relationship you two have. this is like a movie. We need to write a book about this, we’d make millions. I’m so glad you had him, I really am. I thought about you so much while I was in Florida and wanted to make sure you were okay, so I’m glad it was a guy like Axel that was keeping you safe.

Uuuuh, I’ll cover for you. I’ll give you things and excuses to be excited about

It sounds like the rom com I’d totally groan about watching.... but I love it! Not a day went by that I didn’t think about you, Zephykins. Any time it started eating at me, Axel was the one to reassure me that you up and leaving meant that you were starting recovery, not dead or alone somewhere. It’s so great to have you back! 

Oh gosh, what’s first on the list?! 

[marcie-pan]

thane-watson‌:

Always championing a good cause, I see. I hope you’ve been well.

Gotta do what I can! I like using my notoriety for good causes when possible. How’s your first few days away from LA been?

[marcie-pan]

damienrath‌:

Tacos are the glue that binds people together… I feel ya on that. It’s good to learn there’s lastin’ friendships out here and whatnot. I think the friend I’ve had here the longest who’s also on the network is Zosia. Chips and salsa and catchin’ up… sounds like an awesome time. Especially when followed up with kartin’. Gotta hit up the arcade too!

Eh who needs sleep? Ya can sleep next week once the excitement settles a little. It’s been a good time to ya lately, huh. Glad for ya. Tell me about this Seize the Awkward Campaign…

Exactly! If I ever run for any sort of office, that’ll be part of my marketing campaign. I’ve had limited interactions with Zosia, though I can understand. She’s the sort of soul who makes a few lifelong friends. YES! I love the arcade, touristy or not! 

I think I’m just a ball of perpetual excitement. It’s a good thing I like naps so much! Are you familiar at all with World Suicide Prevention Day? It was September 10th. All this week, I’ll be donating all of the money I make from my Twitch streaming to Seize the Awkward with some other gamer friends. It can be awkward to reach out to a friend if you’re concerned about them, so Seize the Awkward gives pointers on how to approach and follow up the conversation, as well as benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. I’ll be streaming some more Shadow of the Tomb Raider tonight if you wanna pop into the chat for a few minutes! 

[marcie-pan]

zephyr-dresden‌:

It’s not that, I suppose it’s just something that I never really thought about. Axel and Marcie weren’t exactly PB&J in mind, ya feel? There isn’t anything to justify, my love.

YOU KNOW I WOULDN’T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THE THINGS YOU DON’T WANT ME TO BUT AHHHHHHHHHHHH IT’S NOT GOING TO STOP ME FROM FREAKING OUT ON HERE WHEEEEEE. Marcie, oh my God. Can I like, ask how that happened? Like what were the events leading up to the status of being official.

I won’t say a word, I promise!

Yeah, I suppose you’re right in that. Axel and I have had some very interesting ups and downs over the years. After our first interaction, I wanted to shoot him in the face with my crossbow! 

SEE?! THIS IS WHY I HAD TO TELL YOU! I’ve been positively giddy but afraid I’ll somehow mess this up! You remember how I threw him his birthday party right? He kissed me afterwards... I don’t know that that’s where it all started, but it definitely stirred things up, for me anyway. After you and Connor left, I started spending more time with him. Movie nights, him showing off what he learned in cooking classes, me trying to teach him how to swim... It just kind of sped off from there. Very quickly. I think for so long I was torturing myself over Danny, I didn’t realize who was right in front of me, you know? 

But yes, like I said, no one else really knows. The sneaking around has been kind of fun, but it’s the hardest secret to keep! Everyone keeps asking why I’m so giddy, and I can only blame it on work things for so long! 

[marcie-pan]

thegirlnamedgia‌:

I think I would like to take him to the beach. My love of them came from him, after all, and he’s been staring at the same coast for so long that I’d like for him to experience something different.

This is true, though I just feel like I’ve been waiting for this moment for so long that I’ve lost the ability to be patient. I wish it could all come together at once, you know?

If you don’t mind driving north a bit, you can come to my place! I’ve got a whole stretch of beach  in walking distance that’s usually pretty empty. I picked this house solely because I could see water from every window, and listen to the waves as I fell asleep. 

Absolutely. Patience is, I think, the hardest virtue of all to practice. It’ll make it that much more exciting when it does all come together though! 

[marcie-pan]

zephyr-dresden‌:

Sounds perfect!

I know, and I knew that earlier, too. I just think I wasn’t aware of how big of a problem it all was so I didn’t think I’d need anyone. I was wrong, obviously, but I never though I couldn’t talk to you about it.

No, no, he helped you calm your nerves, huh? I just didn’t expect that.

It’s like people forget we’ve been friends for four years. I know to a lot of people he seems brash, and he can say some outlandish things... but he’s very rational. I must be crazy, but aside from all of our banter over the years, he’s pretty... I don’t want to say calming? But he’s easy to be around. 

Okay but you know what else? Fuck it. Genaya and Lucas are the only two who know about it. I can’t not talk to you about it. I swear to God though, if you tell anyone...

We’re dating. We have been since July. No one knows. You know Axel’s dating history, you know all the drama that always come from it. We’re in our own little secret bubble and it’s been amazing. I’m both delighted and terrified. I want to tell the whole freaking world about it, but I know where he’s coming from. But uh.... yeah. Don’t tell anyone. Don’t even talk to him about it for now... I know he’ll probably understand, but I think he’s a little up in arms... But I had to tell you because I’m about to burst at the seams! 

[hernameiswritinwater]

It has been a long and lonely week. Is anyone free and would like to have dinner tonight? I could use some company and good wine. 

[marcie-pan]

Did you end up with some company? I’d love to do dinner a night this week. Anything sound good? I can stop by the store on the way, we can cook, listen to music, entertain the little ones, and indulge in a little wine?

[selene-macsuain]

A long week of little sleep has left me a little frazzled. Between the boxes, the emails and the needles, I’m in need of some distraction. Tell me about your favourite poem?

[marcie-pan]

Frazzled, but some excitement, I’m sure! I don’t know if I have a favorite poem. I love Shel Silverstein. Though his poems were aimed at children, I still find them so whimsical and meaningful. I imagine in must be difficult for you to pick a favorite?

[marcie-pan]

damienrath‌:

Aiight… tacos and ritas for you and I’ll continue to take down some tacos with beer. It’s the only way to do it. I’m free and ramble all ya want. I ain’t met her in person but we talked a little a ways back. So you and her are real tight then uh?

Depends on what ya find fun… I got a fight comin’ up so I’ve been trainin’. Nothin’ all that excitin’ but I’ve been good. What’s been up with you? Ya lookin’ smiley…

That’ll work just fine, so long as there’s also chips and salsa! I’d love to catch up. We could grab lunch and then do something fun... go karts? Pedago bikes? Something like that! Zeph is one of the friends I’ve had the longest here in LA. She shares my love of tacos, and that kind of thing just bonds you for life, ya know?

I’ve just been busy! Between the new Spider Man game, having Zeph and Connor back in town, prepping for the Seize the Awkward campaign, and making plans for Blizzcon, this week has been a giant blur! It’s exciting, though I could use more sleep.

[marcie-pan]

river-morgan-peretz‌:

Oh I wouldn’t want that sort of pressure put on my daughter. To try to fill your shoes would be quite a feat. 

I guess that’s fair. I mean, no matter what, your kid will forge their own awesome path. Have you guys given thought to any names yet?

[marcie-pan]

james-cartwright-md‌:

I dont remember us getting together to eat tacos. Who is this real best friend? Im up for getting coffee with you tomorrow.

Wellllll we should fix that, soon-to-be-bestie! If you ever want to get tacos, I know places all over the city! Have you talked to Zephyr at all? She’s the chip to my salsa. Wanna do coffee too? I can meet you at The Coffee Bean near CC West, if you want!