No Day But Today

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[problemactic]

[podencos]

I thought this was a joke but it’s not and I wish it were

[la-laborista-republiko]

Hell world

[desperate-acts-of-capitalism]

Whoops I appear to have left my extremely powerful rare earth magnet on top of Amazon alexa

[afro-evolutionary-astrology]

Fear is knowing a new Alexa product is being developed.

Terror is knowing that it’s for landlords to control their units remotely, while being to see and hear everything in the rented space.

Horror is understanding that if a family is a few days late for rent/electricity/gas, this product will most likely cut off the services they may need to survive like WiFi access, stove/oven/microwave/fridge appliances having power, lights, medical devices that require electricity to function, etc.

[800-dick-pics]

deep horror is knowing that these devices will probably be set to unlock doors remotely allowing cops and abusers into the homes of marginalized people, these devices will probably have sensors to check how many people live in the home vs on the lease, probably will have some way or reporting that the residents are “breaking the lease” ie: loud music, having overnight guests, parties, or just people doing normal human shit and having it seen as a “violation”

[kpopper]

are you living or are you just jumping from one obsession to the other to run away from yourself

[ivan-fyodorovich-deactivated202]

what are you the coping mechanism police or something

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

if you’re not ending your emails with “kill me! your slave and enemy,” then what are you doing with your life

[meliohy]

Don’t hide that in the tags @thevastness

[folklorestv]

Andy and Seth clear the air

[twitblr]

The memories

[the-memedaddy]

[adonischildsupportcase]

[topsydead]

I’m telling you elephants are chill motherfuckers. They fucking love being helpful. They once defended a man with heatstroke from a truck that came to rescue him. They knew he was sick, laying against a tree for shade. They were watching over him and petting him, and they threatened to charge the vehicle for coming towards him. Another person passed out, and elephants cried over her and buried her body in a traditional elephant funeral. (Piling branches on her). And were quite spooked when she got up later. And an elephant was helping workers to put logs in holes for a wall. On one hole, the elephant absolutely refused to set the log in, despite being punished and goaded. Turns out there was a sleeping dog in the hole.

There are so many good elephants stories. They will even help zookeepers wash other elephants– literally, a zookeeper can be like “[Name 1], please wash [Name 2]” and he will go wash that elephant correctly. Listen guys. Not only are elephants people, but they’re largely better people than us. I’m 10000% serious.

[ziraseal]

I just love that the lioness (a fiercely protective species) was 100% on board with it. 

“Thanks, Janet, it’s been one hell of a week, you know?”

[hauntedsheephole]

some random woman’s thoughts: oh hey, he’s kind of hot.

Edward Cullen: Dear Diary. Today another WHORE vies for my affection. Existence is agony.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

As a teenager I was pretty unimpressed with adults giving each other tours of their homes and kitchens, but as an adult I now understand this is the equivalent of inviting your friends over to see all your toys and that’s chill actually

[bmwiid]

it’s the grown up version of showing your mum your clean room you spent all day tidying 

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

holy crap that’s exactly what it is

[stem-stims]

Physics: More pencil tricks

Source

[dexer-von-dexer]

i.e. why when you or someone else gets stabbed or impaled, you should leave the object in the wound until medical help arrives.

[wildlyannoyingdoofus]

THIS. RIGHT HERE. This is an amazing example!!

If you take the thing out, they’re going to bleed a lot more.

SO. DONT.

News Flash from the Medical Help ™ — we don’t touch it either! Unless the object they’re impaled with is literally too big to fit in the ambulance, We. Don’t. Touch. The. Thing.

The only people qualified to Take-The-Thing-Out are surgeons. End of story.

Okay, but for the love of God, please, PLEASE, if you did, if you panicked and took the thing out…. DON’T…. PUT IT BACK IN.

Or else, congratulations, you just stabbed them AGAIN. I reeeeeally shouldn’t have to say this guys, but I do.

[kimmycup]

Congratulations,

YOU JUST STABBED THEM AGAIN

[five-flats]

i feel like that last comment should be accompanied by a bill-wurtz-style jingle

[micdotcom]

Watch: Liberal Redneck is thoroughly confused by the hypocrisy of people against Black Lives Matter

[drquinzel]

Red neck woke.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[booklovertwilight]

[one-time-i-dreamt]

[sandersstudies]

Love that in a lot of classic literature people just “randomly” fall ill but bro their homes were stacked to the roof with arsenic and asbestos and lead and radium of course they were sick all the time.

[sandersstudies]

And then they’re like “we took my ill wife to the seaside and her condition improved remarkably” and it’s like Edward your house has seven time bombs in it please just leave your wife at the seaside and she’ll do very well not getting mesothelioma.

[under-the-arch]

Edward your wife may be entitled to financial compensation

[adorablehowell]

make sure before any exam you are adequately hydrated!!!!!! so u can CRY when they hand you the test!!!!!

[inkskinned]

unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, i cannot just “walk up and join the circle of people talking”, but it does sound lovely thank you