Undeliverable Thoughts
"What is your greatest fear?"
(Death. Humiliation. Spotlight. Separation. Rejection. Oblivion. Losing someone. Losing you. Freakin' losing you. Pain.) "Failure. Yep. Failure and messing-up. Oh, and also I have a fear of holes. What was that again?"
"Trypophobia?"
"Riiight, trypophobia it is."
"Messing-up, eh? How come?"
(Because I am afraid to speak-up what my heart wants to say. I am afraid to hurt a person by my words. I am afraid to lose someone just because of being honest to all what I have to say.) "School. I am afraid of raising my hand to recitations because I am afraid of saying a wrong answer. Hence, I am afraid of messing-up."
"How can you say that what you will say is wrong when you are not even trying?"
(Because I already know it, that you will not like what I want to say. I know that you will hate me just because I let my heart speak.) "Haha. It's obvious. I always say wrong answers, do I?"
"Hmmm..."
(Oh look what I did to you by my answers.) "What?"
"Nothing."
"Next topic?"
"What's running in your mind, like, right now at this very moment?"
(You.) "Dogs, puppies, and kittens."
"Ooooooh! Grand! I love puppies."
(I love dogs, puppies, kittens... I love you.) "Haha, me tooooo."
