Finding My Purpose In Life

I’m passionate about many things that do not matter, so imagine how I feel about things that do. Living life to its fullest, all the while defining what “full” means. The definition might be different for you.

[marvelousmelanieleigh]

Weight Loss Journey, Meet LENT

I’ve been meaning to check in sooner, but it just hasn’t happened! To be honest, February was a bad month on my weight loss journey. I didn’t gain any weight, but I didn’t lose anything! But here I am, back on my shit.

10 lbs down, 90 to go!

This month is exciting because I enjoy practicing lent. I’m not very religious, but my mother is Catholic so I grew up with some understanding of what lent is. As I became an adult I decided to adapt this tradition into my life but in my own way. From Ash Wednesday for Easter Sunday I give up or add something to my life. It’s that simple. I try to give up something that will truly inconvenience me, something that will make me question why I’m so attached to it. I like practicing self control, I don’t like letting social media, food, or anything besides me control my life. This year I have decided to give up the three most important things in my life...

PASTA

BREAD

CHEESE

Wow searching for those made me really hungry 😅

I’ve given up pasta, bread, and cheese twice before. I was (semi-)successful in 2017, and unsuccessful in 2019. I didn’t know in 2017 that Caesar salad had cheese in the dressing, and I had that many times throughout lent. Considering I didn’t know, I’m giving myself some credit. But this year is a new year, a new lent! I will be SUCCESSFUL.  

My least favorite part of practicing lent, or really when other people practice lent, is how they define what they’re giving up.

“I’m giving up sweets” Well... what do you consider a sweet...? “Oh, you know. Candy, chips-” Chips?? “Yeah like those snacks” Are you giving up snacks or sweets?

So yeah people don’t define things very well...

Pasta is pretty self explanatory, so is cheese. But you cannot believe the debates I have had on bread. The first year I did it, I was thinking flour made bread. I didn’t allow myself to have flour tortillas, breading, roux. Anything with flour. That was pretty hard. This year I’m defining bread as leavened dough. So anything with baking powder, baking soda, or yeast is going to be a no-go.

In the past I’ve given up things like social media, drinking anything but water, and adding something like go outside for 30 minutes a day, or say something kind to a stranger every day. Social media was funny because I had to really define what that meant! I considered YouTube social media, but not Spotify. Giving up drinking anything but water was complicated because I could eat cereal, but I couldn’t drink what was left in the bowl. Very complicated times...

Ash Wednesday was last Wednesday, and I’m already having a hard time! I meal prepped some salmon, asparagus, and potatoes. But one meal like that is enough to make me tired of it for a week 😅 I think today I’m going to make spaghetti squash. That’s definitely not a pasta, it’s a vegetable! But go ahead and debate me in a comment, I’m ready for you.

Things I cannot have:

Rigatoni, spaghetti, linguine, macaroni, cavatappi, penne, basically any pasta.

Cottage cheese

Cupcakes

Flour tortillas

Cream cheese

Cheddar, swiss, gruyere, romano, parmesan, pretty much any cheese

Sourdough, rye, cinnamon bread, sandwich bread, pretty much any bread

Cake

Cinnamon rolls

Cookies, cookie dough

Pizza (sob)

Things I can have:

Spaghetti squash (it’s a veg)

Ground turkey

Ground beef (not a fan, but I can)

Steak (again, not too hot on red meat at the moment)

Rice (it’s a grain, not a pasta!)

Potatoes

Salmon

Tuna

Protein shakes

Broccoli, asparagus, green beans, basically vegetables

Apples, oranges, strawberries, tomato, basically any fruit

Chicken

Milk (I prefer almond)

Cereal (granted it doesn’t have baking soda or baking powder as an ingredient)

I’m SUCH A PICKY EATER though!! I’m afraid of getting tired of my food really fast. Or eating to much fish. If anyone out there is reading this and has any meal suggestions I would appreciate it!   CHEESE

[everybody-loves-to-eat]

(source)

[marvelousmelanieleigh]

I miss pasta SO MUCH 😭

I let myself have veggie spaghetti and this week I started eating a little bit of cheese. But MAN does this CAVATAPPI ALFREDO looks delicious!

[marvelousmelanieleigh]

Bullet journaling to soothe the mind. I may not actually be organized, but it makes me feel organized. Every little bit helps on my weight loss journey!

[marvelousmelanieleigh]

New Year, New Me!

Over the past few years I’ve grown uncomfortable with the disdain toward this phrase. I think that it stops people from really making big changes that they want. Sometimes you just want to leave 2019 in 2019, and start fresh. Well, this is my opportunity to utilize the cliché.

My goal for 2020 is to lose 100 LBS by the end of the year.

I know that number seems absolutely ridiculous, and part of me agrees, but I think this outrageous goal is good for me to shoot for! Now, if I weighed 120 and wanted to lose that much this would be an unhealthy idea. However, I weigh a whopping 245 lbs at 5’2”.

This. Change. Needs to happen.

My final year of college I actually lost 30 pound by eating well, eating better portions, and being very active. After I graduated, life hit me like a freight train and I gained it all back plus more. My body aches, my joints are mad at me, and none of my clothes fit right (even though I just bought them). But I’m young, motivated, and ready to take on this journey.

I’ve started the year with several resolutions that I believe will help me get a grip on my weight:

1,000 Calorie Deficit. AT LEAST. I’m making sure that I have the proper macros (proteins, fats, carbs), eating good servings of fruits and vegetables, and taking my daily vitamin to make sure I’m getting my nutrients. I consume at least 1,00-1,200 calories a day, and burn upwards of 2,000.

Intermittent fasting. I have never tried this before, but I have had several people in my life attest to the validity of this weight loss exercise. I’m eating all of the good/right/nutritious stuff all within 8 hours. Because I have a wonky work schedule, I eat between the hours of 11:00 am and 7:00 pm. This allows me to fast for 16 aching hours (8 of which I’m sleeping so I don’t even notice).

No dairy. Okay well, limited dairy. I have a passion for dairy, but I know it’s not the best for me. The amount of cheese, milk, and butter I consume on a daily basic probably should have killed me by now. Thankfully, I’ve survived long enough to limit my consumption. I am allowing myself fat free cottage cheese because it’s a wonderful source of protein, and goes great with my eggs for breakfast. I’m not going to have it every day though.

No soda. Unnecessary sugar! This one is actually pretty easy for me since I pretty much only drink Dr. Pepper and water. I only have to cut out one drink! Not only is this omission healthier, but it gives me so many more calories for the good stuff.

30 minutes active. At this point, it’s really hard for me to exercise. The weight of my body makes it difficult to walk, run, stretch, lift weights, or do anything but swim! I’ve decided spending at least 30 minutes a day getting my heart rate up will help me lose weight. It’s not much, but anything will help at the start. I intend to start a workout regimen at a certain point, but for now this is sufficient.

Moisturize. I have SO MANY stretch marks. I gained weight so quickly and my body didn’t stand a chance. I know I will most likely have these stretch marks for the rest of my life, I’ve accepted that. But hydrating my skin, and loving my body will help it get back to somewhere I feel comfortable.

With all that being said, today is day 11 of following this regimen and I’ve lost 4 lbs! I know that one bad meal will gain it all back, so I’m not taking that chance. I haven’t had a cheat day, and I only plan on taking 1 this month. I planned a pasta party over a month ago and really didn’t want to cancel. For that day, I’m just going to make sure I don’t eat until I’m uncomfortable! Sample food, stop when I’m full, and exercise exercise exercise.

Wish me luck!

[marvelousmelanieleigh]

[attemptingfood]

Triple Chocolate Cake

I absolutely love chocolate cake! Baking it, eating it, SEEING it. I have such a hard time with frosting though! I’ve tried Swiss merengue, Italian merengue, American buttercream, whipped cream and I just fall flat. I really want an imitation of H-E-B’s whipped icing, but I’m without for now. This whipped ganache worked out pretty good until I can find a decent recipe.

[marvelousmelanieleigh]

😍😍

[attemptingfood]

Apple Pie

I made some delicious apple pie! But I actually don’t like apple pie, so I just took my girlfriends word on it. I thought this would be a good first post considering it’s aesthetic appeal. Flaky crust, woven top, bubbly, hot, and fresh out of the oven.

I’m obsessed with Bon Appetite so I used their recipe, obviously. But I used yellow and green apples, and regular vinegar because I didn’t have apple cider. Still turned out pretty great 🤷🏻‍♀️

(Source)

[marvelousmelanieleigh]

Suh dude ✌🏼

[marvelousmelanieleigh]

Chalk it up to family

In many cases having experience means the second time should be better, should be easier. Making brownies from scratch was better the second time. Riding a bike was easier the second time. However, just because something has happened before doesn’t mean you’re prepared for it a second time.

On Saturday my mom had her second heart attack. I had felt the panic the first time, obviously, but that doesn’t make the second time you hear it any easier. It’s worse. Her body is weaker, her heart is weaker. I’m weaker.

I finally get to see her today after driving five hours to get to my brothers house. I’m afraid to see her. But the doctors say she’s doing well. Her tests results came back good. Spending the morning with my nieces made me hopeful. You don’t really stop to appreciate the little moments you get to experience with your family. So, weather be willing, we drew some pretty pictures for her to see when she comes home.

[marvelousmelanieleigh]

July is ready to go!

This month begins my journey of healthier eating. I have a family member in the hospital right now and it’s opening my eyes. I don’t want to sound stereotypical, like someone is losing their life and I’m rethinking all of my life choices... but I don’t want to find myself in the same position in 30 years. The choices I make right now will affect Future Melanie in ways I can’t foresee, but I need to try. I can make changes, one day at a time.

[shymagnolia]

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

[shymagnolia]

okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now i’m thinking….maybe this is the good luck post

[dorkyfictionalother-deactivated]

This is the good luck post, yo!

[marvelousmelanieleigh]

One of the most important realizations I’ve had with my bullet journal is to make sure I get next month ready before this one is over. Sometimes it’ll take me a couple of days to finish the outline, get the habit tracker going. This isn’t much but it took me two days of googling and piecing together what I really wanted to get out of the month of July. Next stop: “No Buy July”, then my habit tracker. I’m not 100% organized but it’s growing everyday. I can’t give up!

[gaywomen]

Kristen Stewart as Sabina Wilson in the Charlie’s Angels Official Trailer

[marvelousmelanieleigh]

I’m not sure how I will enjoy the film, but I loved Kristen Stewart in the trailer.

[itsbats]

Happy Pride, ya’ll

[marvelousmelanieleigh]

So grateful for these precious babies

[marvelousmelanieleigh]

Park, Please!

Today I went to the park with my brother and my nieces! I feel sick from all the spinning rides but I had SO MUCH FUN. I’m so grateful to be a part of their lives.

Also, my brother on the purple spinner is a BIG mood.

[cindersart]

that one friend who hates the same shit i hate: can i be petty abt — me, thru 10 loudspeakers: release the salt