Fanfictoon

I write cringe shyt

[the-church-of-mary-sue]

Kitty here! I’m not dead! Just working through some stuff including expanding the church which has been a lot. I’ll be back soon! I’m very excited for dashcon!!! I didn’t have time to purchase actual tickets so I’ll have to deal with digital ones. Or maybe I’ll just astral project myself there. Still haven’t decided. Stay strong everyone! Remember to drink water, take breaks, and praise Mary Sue!

[marysueisjesus]

“鱼糕玩耍时间” said Suo Chinesely in Chinese with his Chinese clothes and his Chinese name and his Chinese face and Chinese accent with Chinese music playing in the background.

“Where did that music come from?” Sakura asked, missing how Chinese Suo is.

“我来自中国兄弟” Suo Chinesed Chinesedly. The Chinese music in the background got louder.

“I’m getting Kiryu.” Sakura said, but Kiryu walked in richly and spoke money money green green 🤑💸.

“Money hard cash funds.” Kiryu said like the richy McRicherton he is.

“WHat” Sakura said, voice cracking.

“ 💸💰🤑💲💎” Kiryu riched richly

“是的，我明白” Suo said very Chinese in his Chinesely Chinese.

“Mhm, money money green green.” Kiryu said monetarily.

“让我们亲吻吧” Suo said Chinesely, walking towards Kiryu

“What are you doing now ?!!” Sakura yelled.

“Yes, yes money times. Funding money jewels green.🤑👅” Kiryu answered, fanning a wad of cash.

Nirei walked in

“Finally someone normal.” Sakura said, relieved.

“Notebook, notebook ginger. I have no soul ginger redhead notebook nerd ginger!” Nirei said gingerly, sniffing his notebook like a freak.

“NOOOOOOOO” Sakura screamed, tears streaming down his pathetic face.

“Ginger ginger notebook. Redhead ginger life.” Nirei said

“生姜到了，让我们狂欢吧” The Chinese man Suo Chinesed Chinesedly, pulling Chinese food from his traditional Chinese clothing.

“Money dough that is cold green cash money money.” Kiryu flexed money greenly, blushing dollar signs.

Kiryu and Suo started kissing each other.

“WHAT THE HELL?!?!!>?!!>!?!” Sakura screamed, raising his arms to the heavens.

Sakura fell to his knees, one tear falling from his left eye dramatically.

Nirei joined Kiryu and Suo kissing.

Sakura screamed in terror, his voice hurt and he was in the fetal position on the ground sucking his thumb.

Tsugeura floated into the room

“PROTEIN!!!” he shouted, doing push ups in the air.

Sakura woke up with a start, a scream piercing Kiryu’s eardrums. Tears fell down his face as he processed the nightmare.

Sakura and Kiryu were having a sleepover at Sakura’s house.

“What the hell?! Sakura-Chan are you okay?!!” Kiryu shouted.

“Oh thank God you’re Japanese!!” Sakura shouted, sobbing into his knees.

“I- yes I am? Why-?” Kiryu looked confused, puzzled, baffled even.

Sakura continued unintelligibly sobbing. Kiryu got up to comfort him, still confused as hell.

[marysueisjesus]

The girls are fighting!!!

[marysueisjesus]

They're besties, trust

@crypt-loves-narumi

[marysueisjesus]

Everyone drowned in their tears because Kiryu and Sue kissed a lot and for a long time.

Sakura ran in and screamed.

Sue punched him in the face and made him lose 13 of his teeth. He passed out, losing consciousness.

Sue and Kiryu skipped back into the school, holding hands and blushing.

“Could I get some information about you 2 for my… notebook?” Nirei asked, Sue saw his book and it was just filled to the brim with pictures and drawings of Sue and Kiryu kissing and going on dates.

“Sure” Sue said coldly.

“How do you like Kiryu????” Nirei asked like a creepy person.

“He is my boyfriend.” Sue replied

“I love S-” Kiryu started

“SHUT UP WEATHER BOY!!!” Nirei screamed angrily, exhaling.

Kiryu cried.

“How dare you!!” Sue yelled yellowly

Sue punched Nirei, kicking him in the gut and making him pass out.

Sakura walked in with a giant bandage on his head from the missing teeth.

“Hey there Sakura-kataki!” Sue yelled dramatically.

Sakura cried, had a nosebleed, closed his eyes, and passed out.

The entire classroom erupted in laughter at Sakura, even Nirei, who had a crush on Sakura.

Sakura woke up immediately and sat down at his desk like nothing happened, sobbing silently at the thought of never dating Sue again.

Kiryu and Sue kissed passionately.

Tsugeura walked up to their table. “Hey there Sue! Let’s go out sometime… AS BROs!!!!!!!!” he shouted athletically.

“Nuh uh vro!” Kiryu said meanly

“Yuh, nuh uh.” Sue replied to Kiryu and Tsugeura.

Tsugeura cried and ran away with his hands in the air screaming and doing pull-ups. Kiryu and Sue laughed at him because he is a pathetic loser, duh.

Kiryu and Sue kissed again, the teacher never taught because everyone was staring at them because they are so in love.

“Suo, I am breaking up with you.” Sue said coldly

Suo cried and rolled around on the floor, having a mental breakdown and screaming.

“YUh!” Sue said.

“SERRVS U RIGH!!!” Kiryu yelled and then passed out.

A gang came into the school.

“We’re here to steal stuff and kill people!” The gang said.

They all wore masks and sounded the same.

Sue got up and beat them all up, kicking one into the other and punching another in the stomach. She did a backflip and karate chopped one of them. She beat them up until they were a pile of gooners covered in injuries.

Sue pulled off their mask, it was Sakura and his clones!

“Sakura-kataki! Really going this far bro??” Sue asked, tapping her foot impatiently.

All the Sakuras cried and apologized.

“I forgive you I guess. Not getting back together with you! Sakura-kataki!!!” Sue yelled.

The Sakuralings cried and started beatboxing dramatically and depressedly.

“Shut up bro!!!!!!” Kiryu yelled, “Stupid Sakura!!!!!!!”

Kiryu and Sue kissed, Suo joined and so did Tsugeura.

[marysueisjesus]

[marysueisjesus]

Sue-Mary was the only girl in Furin high, she was the best and the most powerful, and she knows every single one of the 180 martial arts in the world and uses a mixture of all them. She can throw the fastest kicks and punches in the world. She traveled the entire world from when she was 3 to now, in Japan at 16½

Everyone in Furin is in love with Sue, except Umemiya, because they see each other as siblings. Nirei follows her around constantly to put all of her perfections in his notebook. But Sue doesn’t like Nirei.

Sue walked into her classroom flawlessly, she sat next to Kiryu, passing Sakura coldly (they are ex’s).

“Oh- h-hey Sue! You're l-looking quite p-pretty today!” Sakura said nervously, he was blushing like crazy.

“Hi.” Sue said, rolling her eyes.

“W-will you k-kiss m-m-me?” Sakura asked.

“No. I’m dating Kiryu now.” Sue said confidently.

“What?! WE are?!!” Kiryu shouted.

“No… shhh just act like it!” Sue whispered into Kiryu’s ear. He blushed.

“You… Y-You’re dating Kiryu n-now..?” A tear rolled down Sakura’s face dramatically.

“Yuh…” Sue said like it was obvious.

“Yeah we are so back off broski!!” Kiryu said angrily.

Sakura ran out of the room like an anime girl, putting a piece of toast in his mouth and bawling his eyes out.

“Serves him right.” Sue said, “he’s so sensitive”

“Yuh” Kiryu said genuinely, “Want to go to a Jason Aldean concert with me.”

“Yuh” Sue responded, she loves all music because she is perfect.

“YATTA!!!” Kiryu jumped for joy, shrieking.

Sue pushes her hair behind her ear, she secretly has a crush on Kiryu, she blushes slightly. Kiryu blushes too.

Tsugeura walked into the conversation, overshadowing them with his buff frame.

“Hey there Sue! Want to go to the gym with me?” Tsugeura asked.

“Nuh uh.” Sue said

“WHY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOT” Tsugeura shouted.

“I’m going out with Kiryu.” Sue said, “We’re dating now.”

Tsugeura started sobbing depressedly on the floor of the classroom, leaving a puddle of tears in his wake. He got up and ran off sobbing.

“These people..” Sue said, rolling her eyes.

“Y-yeah!! They are all unreasonable…” Kiryu replied, feeling a bit bad

Sue put her hand on Kiryu's leg aesthetically. Everyone looked at them and cried a little bit.

Sakura came back into the room, his eyes red and puffy and his face flushed from embarrassment and crying.

The next day it was the weekend and Kiryu and Sue went to the concert, Kiryu screamed “YATTA!!!!” over and over in excitement the entire time.

“YATTA!!!!! YIPPEE I LOVE COUNTRY MUSIC IT IS MY FAVORITE!!!!!~” Kiryu shrieked.

“Kiryu calm down…” Sue said, but the crowd was too loud and Kiryu didn't hear her.

After the twenty-four hour long country music concert, Kiryu passed out from pure ecstasy and joy. Sue dragged him out of the concert hall.

When Kiryu woke up he had been dragged across the pavement for about 30 minutes. His back was super scratched up and sore for him.

“Woah what's going on, where is the country music?” Kiryu asked groggily

“It's over, we're at a hotel.” Sue replied

“Ooooh there is only one bed~” Kiryu giggled

“Shut up.” Sue almost shouted, but she stopped herself.

“Awwww…” Kiryu pouted like a wounded puppy

“Dude. We're not even dating.” Sue said

Kiryu turned around like a toddler.

“Ugh” Sue said angrily

Kiryu started crying.

Sue comforted him.

“Well it's like, 6am we gotta go to bed.” Sue said, sticking out her tongue

They go to their hotel bedroom with one tiny little bed.

Sue stole the whole blanket, making Kiryu cuddle her from the back for warmth.

“Ew! Keep off of me, you're icky!!” Sue shouted when they realized Kiryu was touching him.

“Aww how dare you waaahhh!!!!!” Kiryu said, starting to cry, “I'm cold…” :(

“I don't care.” Sue grumbled pathetically.

Kiryu rolled over and sobbed into his pillow sadly.

Sue fell asleep once Kiryu stopped loudly having a tantrum.

The next day they woke up and spent the day together to get used to fake dating. Sue wanted to fake date Kiryu Because she was super bored and wanted Sakura off her damn back.

“I actually have a crush on you…” Kiryu said pathetically…

“I know. Everyone does because I'm perfect duh.” Sue said confidently

“You are…😍” Kiryu said, drooling onto the floor.

“please get away from me…” Sue said angrily

Kiryu started sobbing aesthetically.

“Oh my god shut up!!!!!!” Sue said, opening the hotel door and running home coolly.

She got ready at home and went to class.

“Hey there!” Suo said calmly to Sue

“Hi Suo..” Sue said sadly, thinking of Kiryu

“Let's sit together and kiss while the teacher isn't looking.” Suo offered

“sure…” Sue said, a tear falling down her cheek dramatically.

Suo and Sue went to their desk together, whenever the teacher didn't look they started to kiss each other.

Kiryu walked in the class late. He saw Suo and Sue kissing and he fell to the ground sobbing like a baby.

“Oh my God you toddler!!!” Sue shouted shoutingly

Kiryu continued sobbing hysterically.

Suo blushed at Sue.

Sue looked at him like he was a creep.

Suo looked down depressedly.

Sakura walked up to their table.

“H-hey there S-Sue!!” Sakura muttered softly, “L-let’s fight outside today!”

Everyone in the classroom gasped because they knew that Sue was the best fighter in the world and knew every single martial art and how to use every weapon in the world, even the ones that aren’t made anymore because they were so dangerous. She knew how to perfectly use all of them.

“Yuh, bro, but just remember you asked for it.” Sue replied epically.

“I-... I will! I r-remember e-e-everything!!!” Sakura screamed.

Sue scoffed like a jerk and stood up, sitting by Tsugeura.

“It’s your lucky day Tsu.” Sue said smoothly.

“You gave me a nickname!!! I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!” Tsugeura replied, “And my nickname sounds like your name… Sue and Tsu 2!!”

“Mhm” Sue said coldly.

Tsugeura started crying terribly.

“There, there.” Sue said.

Tsugeura stopped crying and the lesson ended.

“H-hey there Sue…” Nirei said nervously, “Could I… p-pester you for some questions for my n-notebook?!”

“Sure.” Sue responded blankly.

“Y-you won’t regret this S-Sue chan!!” Nirei said excitedly.

After Nirei asked a bunch of questions, Sue left the school, completely forgetting about Sakura asking her to fight.

Sue went outside to see a very flushed Sakura, he looked like a tomato grew legs and went through an anime training arc.

“Hey there Sakura.” Sue said.

“L-let’s fight! C-c-come o-on!!!” Sakura shouted.

“Okay then.” Sue said confidently

Sue and Sakura started fighting, Sakura got one kick in before Sue elbowed his jaw, dislocated it and kicked him so hard he fell to the ground and fainted at the same time.

“Serves you right, Sakura-kataki.” Sue said like a badass.

Sakura was still passed out, she kicked him to make sure he wouldn’t follow her and ran home cutely.

She got home and Kiryu and Kaiji were sitting there expectantly waiting for her.

“Hey there Sue-chan!” Kiryu said happily, clapping his hands.

“Hi Sue-san.” Kaiji said calmly like the chill guy he is.

Kaiji took out his lollipop and started licking it.

“What do you want? This is creepy AF!!” Sue yellowed.

“I know but we love you, Sue!” Kiryu said excitedly.

“I don’t leave me alone!!!!” Sue yelled angrily.

Sue hated that she was so pretty and perfect with her symmetrical face, slim build and pink and purple hair. Her cyan eyes seemed to just lure people in like a siren’s song.

“Get outta meh house!” Sue yelled yellingly.

Kiryu and Kaiji cried and ran out of the house crying.

“Finally” Sue said, going to bed.

Sue went to bed, dreaming about Kiryu. She missed him and wanted to kiss him so bad. In the dream they went on a huge fantastical adventure and kissed a lot.

Sue woke up sadly, crying a bit before putting on her bright purple outfit with orange stripes and a blue heart, 5 inch tall red stilettos and highlighter yellow miniskirt with back rhinestones.

She skipped her way to Furin High, full of joy and whimsy. She couldn’t wait to see her fake boyfriend, Kiryu and her bestie Suo.

In class, Sue sat next to Kiryu, flirting with him smoothly. He blushed and looked away.

“Wanna kiss me?” Kiryu asked

“Yes” Sue responded

Kiryu and Sue kissed, Sue felt Kiryu’s tongue piercing in his mouth that was warm and felt nice to touch. Everyone stared at them kissing and wept.

[marysueisjesus]

“鱼糕玩耍时间” said Suo Chinesely in Chinese with his Chinese clothes and his Chinese name and his Chinese face and Chinese accent with Chinese music playing in the background.

“Where did that music come from?” Sakura asked, missing how Chinese Suo is.

“我来自中国兄弟” Suo Chinesed Chinesedly. The Chinese music in the background got louder.

“I’m getting Kiryu.” Sakura said, but Kiryu walked in richly and spoke money money green green 🤑💸.

“Money hard cash funds.” Kiryu said like the richy McRicherton he is.

“WHat” Sakura said, voice cracking.

“ 💸💰🤑💲💎” Kiryu riched richly

“是的，我明白” Suo said very Chinese in his Chinesely Chinese.

“Mhm, money money green green.” Kiryu said monetarily.

“让我们亲吻吧” Suo said Chinesely, walking towards Kiryu

“What are you doing now ?!!” Sakura yelled.

“Yes, yes money times. Funding money jewels green.🤑👅” Kiryu answered, fanning a wad of cash.

Nirei walked in

“Finally someone normal.” Sakura said, relieved.

“Notebook, notebook ginger. I have no soul ginger redhead notebook nerd ginger!” Nirei said gingerly, sniffing his notebook like a freak.

“NOOOOOOOO” Sakura screamed, tears streaming down his pathetic face.

“Ginger ginger notebook. Redhead ginger life.” Nirei said

“生姜到了，让我们狂欢吧” The Chinese man Suo Chinesed Chinesedly, pulling Chinese food from his traditional Chinese clothing.

“Money dough that is cold green cash money money.” Kiryu flexed money greenly, blushing dollar signs.

Kiryu and Suo started kissing each other.

“WHAT THE HELL?!?!!>?!!>!?!” Sakura screamed, raising his arms to the heavens.

Sakura fell to his knees, one tear falling from his left eye dramatically.

Nirei joined Kiryu and Suo kissing.

Sakura screamed in terror, his voice hurt and he was in the fetal position on the ground sucking his thumb.

Tsugeura floated into the room

“PROTEIN!!!” he shouted, doing push ups in the air.

Sakura woke up with a start, a scream piercing Kiryu’s eardrums. Tears fell down his face as he processed the nightmare.

Sakura and Kiryu were having a sleepover at Sakura’s house.

“What the hell?! Sakura-Chan are you okay?!!” Kiryu shouted.

“Oh thank God you’re Japanese!!” Sakura shouted, sobbing into his knees.

“I- yes I am? Why-?” Kiryu looked confused, puzzled, baffled even.

Sakura continued unintelligibly sobbing. Kiryu got up to comfort him, still confused as hell.