first post. @mastermikmik - Tumblr Blog

you know the post that's like: one day I'll be 45 at a party and ill hear a one direction song and ill be dancing my heart out because I never learned to love anything as much as I love one direction?......... yeah.......thinking of that right now

It funny, or I guess funny isn’t the word. It’s. Strange. But I’m thinking of his death through other people?

Like. My first thought went right to Louis. Getting ANOTHER call telling him someone from his family died. How told him? I hope to god he got a phone call and not found out through socials. How is he? The answer is terrible, ofc. But deeper. Is he having a panic attack? Is he crying? Is he desensitised to grief by now?

I remembered how Grimmy was papped at Amy’s funeral. How the guys were papped at Louis’ mum’s wedding. Pap laws in the UK must be more lax. So what? They’ll get papped at the funeral? They won’t even have a private moment to say goodbye?

And the entitlement of this fandom. This fandom that gave me 2 of my favourite people in this world, but that can be so toxic. I refuse to go to their instagrams because I just know the comment section is flooded with demands that they show their grief. Imagine getting this news and then the whole world timing you until you make your public announcement. Your grief paraded around for everyone to see and know and talk about. And then ofc people won’t be satisfied. The reaction won’t be personal enough, won’t show enough. Can you imagine going through that?

I understand that most of them weren’t as close anymore. But Niall was with him 3 days ago. They lived through One fucking Direction together. And now Liam is gone. Just. Not here, anymore. Just. Gone.

Fuck.

likesboys-deactivated20160803

faerieangcl

feeling grief over someone who shaped part of your childhood / teenage years ≠ excusing his actions.

you can grieve someone and still not like them or agree with their actions. a reminder that two things can be true at once.

meyhew

i have no idea how to process this. it’s not unfathomable and it’s something i’ve thought about many times but i don’t actually know how to process it. what do you mean he was such an integral part of me growing up and he did some fucked up things in part bc of the fucked up environment he grew up in and now he’s DEAD and can’t do anything to try and make amends. what do u mean the boys now means harry louis liam niall zayn. what do you mean he left behind a child less than 10 years old. what the fuck do you mean

inharrystyles

Last group hug of the OTRA tour in Sheffield, 10/31/15.

#ohana means family

I haven’t posted in literal years. I haven’t visited this space either. Now I’m seeing so many names from my past. I wish I could’ve seen you all under different circumstances. Please take care of yourself today. It’s clearly hit us all in the softest of bellies. We all came rushing back.

#liam payne

henrypercyhotspur

MRS. SCHWAB.

#i hear you #i do #and yet i say #gay

rylandsgrace

FLORENCE PUGH

arriving at Venice for her holidays the 79th Venice International Film Festival | September 05, 2022

#let’s never forget this #florence pugh

barchiesource

365 days of barchie: 161/365

#have i even been more white or straight????#i think not #and yet #HERE I AM #barchie

cyberbullyinc

my villain origin story was when harry styles and tom hardy made a movie together yet we don’t have a single picture of them together and my arch nemesis is christopher nolan