She's the yee to my yee

running home from the club to see 911 (she/her)

[ofchaosgoddess]

help I’m having ideas beyond my available free time

[gaynehollander]

One year, for the MLH awards, when Shane knows he’s winning the Art Ross, having just nudged out Ilya in points this season, he decides to surprise his husband.

Just as the video package, highlighting Shane and other finalists, wraps up, he turns to Ilya and whispers “I’m wearing a plug.”

Shane’s name is announced and he rises from his seat with a painted on media-smile as Ilya sputters beside him, eyes wide and hand digging into Shane’s forearm as though to keep him from going to the stage. Shane places a kiss on his cheek and carefully loosens his grip before walking away, leaving Ilya looking downright furious behind him.

Twitter is loving it, most people assuming that Ilya is playing up their competitiveness for the cameras with his reaction to Shane’s win and that the huge grin on Shane’s face when he thanks his husband and captain in his speech is him rubbing his victory in Ilya’s face. Little do they know that Shane is delighting in the knowledge that Ilya’s in the midst of having an aneurysm with how quickly all the blood in his body migrated to his dick, thrilled at the thought of how Ilya will make him pay for it once they’re alone.

[toyotathonics]

post like nobody's watching, reblog like you've never been blocked; dm like no one is offline, and rpf like they actually fucked

[ttaibhse]

me practicing internet safety Hey who wants to know where i’m at in my menstrual cycle this month

[puzzled-on-main]

am i allowed to say kill all trillionaires or is that too specific of a threat

[m0neysexual]

too lazy to masturbate can you do it for me

[rockstarcotta]

[memorydatas]

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[memorydatas]

for context:

[dragonquestv]

[an-actual-lion-deactivated20200]

“Beep Beep Bitch, You’re Gay!”

[leolikesaccountability]

Updated the lesbian flag and added nonbinary, pan, ace, and aro for all your tacky LBGTQ+ barcode needs.

[non-binary-ary]

Hope yall  like my abomination

[thegrimmlovely]

That last one is fucking moving istg

[silverjirachi]

at last. the gaydar

[cargopantsman]

[anathemaegg]

[effeminate-wastrel-deactivated2]

The only pride flag I care about anymore

[n0seferatu]

big pharma will try to sell u $20 cold medicine like spicy ramen doesnt cost like a dollar a pack and orgasms are free

[n0seferatu]

damn british people cant cum..... this is so sad.......

[n0seferatu]

big chemist will try to sell you £20 paracetamol like beans dont cost like a quid a can and havin a wank costs fock all

[pisshandkerchief]

being obsessed with a character is so fucking embarrassing like I'll be getting dressed in the morning like "I bet the 12th doctor would wear these socks" bitch shut the fuck up

[pisshandkerchief]

some of you MUST be making up guys.

[pisshandkerchief]

[americiumam]

the mutuals button should be a hug

[americiumam]

like this

[meow-moment]

[spamton]

[lizardsmp3]

pov you are a skittish horse in the wild being offered kindness for the first time by the farmer's eccentric child who has full confidence that you can be the one to win the big race and save the farm

[hyenaswine]

i think people are starting to confuse class analysis with bioessentialism. like... no not all men do this, but Men as a constructed social class do do this. that's still okay to say. that is regular material analysis of the world around us.

[hyenaswine]

this is true, but it is not bioessentialist. both cis & trans men WILL see a mouse & eat it. this is because it is in their best interest to eat mice. they benefit from eating mice. this is essential to their class position, not their biological makeup.

[junglejim4322]

Me when I look at something

[edgebug]

"wholesome" and "pure" are not antonyms of "sexual" btw

[eatpussypraylove]

Favorite adderall review

[joebidensbignaturals]

[ralfmaximus]

You have to watch the dosage.

[mortimermcmirestinks]

You have to watch the dosage.

[gaynehollander]

I think Shane coming hands free the first time he was fucked genuinely made Ilya feel insane. Like, here is your league-mandated rival, he skates like a god, he has the media eating out of the palm of his hand, he commands the room without even seeming to realise his power, he is fucking gorgeous, he drops to his knees at the slightest prompting, he moans like a whore, and, oh! he also fucking spurts all over himself just from having your dick in his ass. Have fun trying to content yourself with fucking literally anyone else for the rest of your life!