alien suburbia @matchstick-princess - Tumblr Blog

Is this about Seattle’s recruitment dropping almost to 0 after the implementation of the living wage? Does anybody have a link?

anarchblr

YES! it is!

“Since the Army is not subject to local minimum wage laws, Seattle pay now outstrips what locals could earn by signing up for the Army. $15 per hour is not only more than the base pay for privates, but corporals and specialists as well.”

-Newsweek

Fuck this article for trying to make me sympathize with the military complex tho. Boo-hoo, Sargent Bootlicker won’t get Friday off for failing to sign up new recruits

tonedeafparrot

sexy-necromancing-bird

OP IS YOUR FRIEND OK

doodlemeimpressed

Murphy’s Law….

matchstick-princess

i am both murphy and OP

ruinedchildhood

tigerleggies-deactivated2019121

“Love u to gn”

Omg the 360

77777777777777777777222-deactiv

Bro tings

gallusrostromegalus

So while I was getting my haircut, the lady asked me if I had other plans for the day and I said:

“I’m just going to pick up the boy from daycare and then it’s date night.”

And the lady says “Oh! How old is he?”

“He’s three.”

“Mine too! Where are you registering him for kindergarten it’s such a hassle-”

And that’s when I realized I said “boy” and not “dog” because I always think of Charlie as “good boy” but this slip up has lead to a miscommunication.

The lady is now 6 minutes into a clearly needed rant about how unnecessarily complex shopping for schools is, esp when you have a neurodivergent child, so I can’t just tell her that Charlie is a dog because then she’ll feel awkward for unloading on me and she clearly has enough going on.

So the rest of the haircut became a game of “how much can I say about Charlie without revealing that he is not a human child?” And the answer is “enough to cover a half hour hair appointment, quite possibly several hours worth if I’m specific enough”

gallusrostromegalus

“is he very verbal?”

“It really depends on who he’s with. He’s very quiet at he but won’t shut up if he’s at the park or has a friend over.”

“was it hard to potty-train him?”

“he’s adopted, but I was genuinely amazed at how good he already was with hygene and potty stuff.”

“mine’s just obsessed with paw patrol and Frozen, drives me crazy!”

“I imagine. Charlie is colorblind so he’s not as into tv, but he always wants a toy if I take him anywhere with them.”

“oh gosh the toys! And the kids are so rough on them!”

“yeah Charlie can destroy a stuffed animal in about 2 minutes, so I only buy him the really cheap ones.”

“Does he throw tantrums when they break?”

“Not really. It’s meditative, really, taking them apart. He has hysterics if the cat takes his toys though. Runs downstairs and cries at me until I retrieve it because he’s not tall enough to get it out of the cat tree.”

gallusrostromegalus

The Very Good Boy in question, Charleston Chew.

(if you want to read more of my much weirder adventures, I have pre-orders for my book on Patreon right now: https://www.patreon.com/gallusrostromegalus )

krwzprtt

matchstick-princess

HIS NAME IS CHARLESTON CHEW I LOVE HIM

valtsv

i’m just saying, when i die in mysterious and unexplained circumstances i want you all to make sure that everybody knows it. instead of saying how i was “a friend to everyone” and that i “lit up a room” when i entered it i want people to shake their heads while muttering that i “asked too many questions for my own good” and talk about how they “warned me that i was getting in way over my head” and that i “always had a knack for finding trouble” wherever i went. if you don’t make me a local urban legend you’ve failed me.

capacity

*thinking about myself 11 minutes ago* I was in such a dark place in my life…

i wish to hell i was your dad

sodabop

hey rb/like/reply if you post about:

-icp -s.e. hinton books -stand by me / the body -catcher in the rye -kevin smith / askewniverse movies -original art -sparklecare

phoebe-does

you know those teens in the movies that forever go on adventures and truly live life and just remain content exploring and being young? It’s literally possible, it isn’t only in the movies, with good company and an open attitude anything can become an adventure. Try everything you’re too scared to do because once you’re all grown up you’ll regret more the ‘didn’ts’ more than the ‘dids’. Go for a picnic at a lake and explore or sit down and read together, go to the local fireworks or farmers market. Find your local nature reserve and go for a day hike, enjoy nature and good company, or even do it alone! Youth is meant to be enjoyed! Mess up, dye your hair because you’ve always wanted to, fall down a lot and laugh it off. I know this may sound like romanticised bullshit, but it helps me enjoy life more and find vibrancy in just trying out new things and calling it an adventure.

enjolrasrevolution

one thing i’ve learned; you can still learn and love someone even after they died.

- for river phoenix

“MY FATHER STORMED THE BEACH AT NORMANDY!”

vampires-and-witches

aidashakur

find someone who knows how to love you when you’re sad

sosuperawesome

Patrick Ennis on Instagram

Follow So Super Awesome on Instagram

skeletonize

i was looking at old photos and i wanted to show you how our story went, a little

bronwyn and i met at age 12 but i dont have any photos from then, really, but this is from grade 9 science class when we were being goofs and i was 13

this is from our first ever sleepover, we couldn’t stop laughing and we were sleeping on a mattress on the floor and we went to boston pizza and got plastic rings that we both still have (bronwyn kept hers on a necklace after that)

i went to bronwyn’s cottage for the first time in the summer after grade 9

we had our first kiss in grade 10 when i was 14 and were in a weird kind of dating limbo period

then i moved to the states and turned 15 and told bronwyn i was in love with her and we visited every chance we could and she sent me flowers and packages

then i went to junior prom with her and bronwyn cut her hair

then we had the most beautiful summer where i spent 5 weeks at her cottage and i cut my hair

then i went back to miami for 12th grade and turned 16 and bronwyn was 17 and we went to senior prom together

then i moved back to canada for university when i was turning 17 and we finally lived in the same place again and we loved each other so much and got breakfast together every day

then after a beautiful summer we started living together when i was 18 and bronwyn was 19 and we went to bahrain together and bronwyn dyed her hair brown and now i get to see her every morning and every night and we adventure in our city and have a coffee shop and love each other more than i could have thought. there were periods of scary intense darkness but we love each other so much and i’ve never been happier. i’ve known bronwyn since i was 12 and now i’m almost 19 and i love her more and more.

skeletonize

i’m never on here anymore, but i wanted to share that almost a month ago bronwyn and i got engaged!! under a beautiful tree on a perfect day and for the rest of my life i get to pursue her and care for her and make her laugh. i’ve said this so many times but now more than ever: if this is all i get, it’s so much more than i could have hoped for.