occasionally subtle
Love Begins
taylor price
Not today Justin
EXPECTATIONS
Cosimo Galluzzi
RMH
noise dept.
roma★
pixel skylines
Game Changer & Make Some Noise
oozey mess
KIROKAZE
Keni
YOU ARE THE REASON
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No title available
#extradirty
Monterey Bay Aquarium
shark vs the universe
seen from Israel
seen from Poland
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Hungary
seen from United Kingdom
seen from France
seen from United States
seen from Indonesia
seen from Brazil
seen from Greece
seen from Denmark
seen from Türkiye
seen from Malaysia
seen from Vietnam
seen from Russia
seen from Indonesia
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States
@mateus-blue-skies
there is something so darkly comical about tumblr potentially outliving twitter
tumblr, which is held together with duct tape and madness, run by three raccoons in blood stained Yahoo! hats and a handful of crabs, its only discernible source of income the sale of shoelaces from an inside joke so inside no one knows the original source anymore and fake blue checkmarks... that website still lives on
truly the cockroach of social media and I love it for that
asked my almost 50yo slur-using father who watched house every night during its original run if he thinks house and wilson had a thing and after a 10 second pause he shared "they didn't have a normal friendship" and didn't elaborate. so
Like that one post where Sherlock single-handedly destroys homophobia
I’m gonna creamer
Guys, Donald makes me cry and weep for the fact that I broke up with my girlfriend. She sounded like Mr Donald and I miss her and him. I need much help !
It’s the offseason around these parts, and one of the essential things we do every offseason is revisit our diet and exercise. Healthy living and careful planning in April helps us balance out...
Read this. Even if you hate eggs and perky diet blogs. Read through Wednesday at the very least. My bet is if you get to Wednesday, you’ll want to read the rest.
jesus christ
Read it
Well that took a turn
@derinthescarletpescatarian you should read this totally normal and not at all fucked up health blog
I have and I think about it daily
Elliot Page has the chance to do the single funniest thing in the history of Hollywood.
im a lil high and i have cilantro soap questions
if cilantro tastes like soap to some people why is it such an uncommon soap scent? I feel like things that taste like soap should be soap
before soap existed what did the soap gene cavemen say cilantrussy. hang on i have to stop this mid sentence because my phone autocorrected cilantro to cilantrussy which means i have previously typed that word out enough for my phone to think it’s a word and more of a word than cilantro. i have some inward reflection to do.
ABCDEFGHI KLMNOP RSTUVWXY
23/26
i really like looking at google image searches for “firemen rescuing cats” or something because you get super cute pictures like
AND THEN THERE’S THIS ONE
“THAT’S RIGHT TWAS I that set the house ablaze!!!”
Dying.
Every fucking time I know what’s at the bottom and every time I still lose my shit.
I’m so happy this post is back again asdlkfjsa
HAPPY TEN YEARS TO “TWAS I THAT SET THE HOUSE ABLAZE”
@hellsite-hall-of-fame @hellsite-hall-of-girlfriend
2 million
2 million f☆☆king notes.
How
i girlblog and i shitpost. its called range
girlblogging is not indicative of gender
(drinking ice water) there is a god and he is loving
(drinking lukewarm water) there is no god but that is okay
(drinking hot water) oo owch owch yowza
(Drinking boiling water)
(drinking ice water) there is a god and he is loving
(drinking lukewarm water) there is no god but that is okay
(drinking hot water) oo owch owch yowza
My ancestors, watching me dump an entire stick of cinnamon, two cloves, an allspice berry, and a generous grating of nutmeg into my tea, sweetened with white sugar and loaded with cream, while I sit in my clean warm house surrounded by books, 25+ outfits for different occasions, and 6 pairs of shoes, in a building heated so well I have the windows open in mid-autumn:
Our daughter prospers. We are proud of her. She has never labored in a field but knows riches we could not have imagined.
I like this so much better than the idea that our ancestors would be embarrassed or ashamed of us for being “soft” or some crap like that.
My ancestors, watching me stuff my face with fried chicken while studying: She eats like an imperial concubine and can afford to study like am imperial scholar. WE MADE IT
She eats like an imperial concubine and can afford to study like am imperial scholar
My ancestors watching me use my stand mixer while living in a small apartment and attending university: Thou hast kneadeth bread in FOUR hail marys??? FOUR??? And thou ist poor as a churchmouse, yet liveth in a fine cottage with four pounds butter and fresh berries in thy larder!! And two featherbeds! And thou attendeth the King’s college, as a lord!!
My ancestors being like:
Look at this fine young lady! She can paint she can sew and embrody, she sings and read
And without a wealthy father to pay for that, plus she is florid in the body! She doesn’t know hunger!
We did it!
Me: /wearily studying/
My Ancestors: TRULY SH— what? They? A little unorthodox, but reasonable I suppose. TRULY THEY PROSPER, FOR THEY LIVE IN A DWELLING WITH MANY ROOMS AND ONLY THEIR SPOUSE TO SHARE IT WITH! THEY HAVE DOGS WHO DO NOT PERFORM A FUNCTION! THEY HAVE MANY BOOKS AND DO NOT HAVE TO SPIN THEIR OWN YARN! THEY BATHE AT A WHIM WITH GENTLE SOAP FREE OF LYE! OUR DESCENDANT BRINGS HONOR AND PRIDE TO OUR LINEAGE!
Me: /yawns and sips my coffee/
My Ancestors: /cheer wildly/
Me: *hunched over at my desk nursing a headache.*
My Ancestors: “Truly, we prosper; see here, our infirm descendant need not even work on her poor days, but has the luxury to rest as she sees need! A doctor attends to her illnesses; her clothes are warm and free of pests; she cares for exotic and dangerous animals within her own home! We have found the height of luxury!”
Me: *treats myself to a pineapple and a bunch of bananas*
My Georgian ancestors: ZOOTH SHE HAS BOUGHT A PINEAPPLE! NOT MERELY BORROWED ONE! TRULY SHE HAS ACHIEVED FAR MORE THAN WE COULD KNOW!
me: [puts on warm socks and a blanket, is now warm regardless of the weather outside]
My impoverished Russian Jewish ancestors:
Me: [learns to knit from youtube videos]
My ancestors: Our descendant, the heir to all our hopes and fears for a far-off future… She can buy fine clothes woven and knit by automatons, with but a fraction of a day’s earnings… and she does… she has so much free time to do as she pleases… and she uses some of that time to do what we did.
One woman from rural Poland, who died from smallpox in 1717 CE, a grandmother at 35: I knit roses and peonies into my and my children’s gloves… it wasn’t much extra work to dye the red, once I had already cleaned the wool and spun the yarn, and to knit in the designs… and I wasn’t a gifted knitter but I was a good knitter, and I thought, well, it might not make a difference to how warm the glove is, but it made the children happy and it made me happy. I liked to make things beautiful when I could.
Another woman, a peasant from what’s now France, who died from getting kicked by a mammoth in 8995 BCE: [Patting her on the back] I made my family’s clothes too. Every day my sister and I wove and wove and tended our children. We went out of our way to make the cloth lovely. Not a trace of it remains anywhere on earth now… But it mattered to us. And she might not know our names, or know it was us, but evidently, it matters to her too. She has so much beauty available to her, in every direction, and she wants to make it where we once made it.
[everyone sobbing and high-fiving each other.]
A man from Britain, 1104 CE, sitting at the trans-temporal telescope, reporting on my doings: She’s stopped knitting and now she’s playing minecraft.
The other ancestors: Ah, yes, the dream of building. We know this one well. What vision doth she design now?
Telescope man: Looks like… Some kind of floating temple?
Everyone: [Goes completely apeshit]
Me: studying Marine Biology, out in the middle of the Elkhorn slough absolutely fucking covered in the most foul-smelling mud and swamp scum you can imagine, deliriously happy as I spot a tell-tale bubbling in the mud. I jump off the small dock and drive my entire arm into the mud like a Mortal Kombat Character ripping someone’s heart out of their chest, and pull out a 4lb, two-foot long Geoduck Clam and hold it aloft, triumphant.
My Homminid ancestors, who were doing exactly this with much smaller clams 900,000 years ago: *going absolutely literally apeshit over my flawless technique and the marvelous size of my quarry* CLAM! CLAM! CLAM! CLAM! CLAM! CLAM! CLAM! WHOOOOOOOOO!!!!
can't get over the phrasing of this actually
ak-47 knocked my fork out of my bowl of rice while i was talking on the phone to a doctor. she did it again while i was typing this post
Avtomat Kalashnikova
@identifying-guns-in-posts
Very funny. This is clearly just someone's cat--
Wait. Zoom in. Enhance. Ahhh, I see now.
AK-47 Type 1 (based on Avtomat Kalashnikova pattern, chambered in 7.62x39mm)
You can tell it's a Type 1 (one of the original production models of the classic AK-47) by the following traits:
Some people believe that the AK-47's loose tolerances make it more resilient to malfunction if it gets dirty, which isn't really all that true. It is, however, a firearm that functions fairly well on very little maintenance.
Which, that's impossible for a cat, of course. So definitely a gun and not a cat.
hey nice work! we were just about to go rob a bank with her
men don’t die in antarctica like they used to
but with your help we can change that!
rotting
still rotting
currently rotting
rotting again
ur first and last recent emojis are ur gender now. mine is 🅱👨❤💋👨
