Matin Crow

“Is there no pity sitting the cloud that sees into the bottom of my grief” - Juliet from Romo and Juliet by William Shakespeare

[matincrow]

This feeling is so deep and endless, no walls to support me, no ground for me to stand on

Just the all consuming sadness that flavors every interaction

I don’t know how to fix this

I don’t know how to fix anything

I don’t know how much longer I can handle this before I break

Is this really all my fault

Will I really be alone forever

[matincrow]

I’m going to act like everything is ok. Like everytime I talk to you I don’t taste venom on my tongue. I will act like like it didn’t happened until the very last second. And then I’ll move away, block your number and not tell you where I’m going. You will never see or hear from me again. Then you can now act like I don’t exist with out me having to remind you of my existence and your mistakes. So enjoy this show while it last because once it’s up, it will be gone forever no matter how hard you look for it again.

[matincrow]

“Stuck”

Sometimes I don’t think I’ll be ok. Sometimes I think this is the end, that this is when I’m supposed to end. Not that I want to kill myself, just that I’m not meant to be here anymore. that somehow I cheated death at some point, and now I’m living a life I wasn’t meant to. Sometimes I wake up and I feel like something is out of place, that I’m out of place in my own life. Like the world is trying to fit me in a plan it made without me in mind. And I don’t know what to do. I can’t kill myself, I can’t make my sister go through that pain again, but I can’t keep living like this. I feel trapped, stuck with no way out.

[destroymylife]

[tamper]

[matincrow]

Blurry eyes

I’ve never felt pain like this before. You’re my best friend, and my first real love. I love you, and I don’t mean love like the kid kind where you don’t know what love really is. I truly love you and you don’t love me. To you I will always just be your best friend, nothing more, nothing less. I finally told you last night, and you didn’t return my feelings. But what hurt the most is when I saw our other friends this morning and they told me that you are going on a date with another girl. Why didn’t you tell me, I’m your best friend, how was I not the first one you told. Why did I find out through others, why do people always hide things from me. I thought you trusted me enough to at least tell me that you got a date. Maybe we aren’t as close as I thought we were, that’s fine, I guess. But now all I feel is a dull pain in my chest that won’t stop, I feel the urge to cry but can not shed a tear.

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“Hiding your hurt only intensifies it. Problems grow in the dark and only become bigger and bigger. But when exposed to the light of truth, they shrink. You are only as sick as your secrets. So take off your mask, stop pretending you’re perfect and walk into freedom.”

— Rick Warren

[imteamtaylor]

We think we know someone, but the truth is that we only know the version of them they have chosen to show us.

The Reputation Prologue

[femmenietzsche]

Don’t go stand where there’s a crowd, Do not linger where there is a dispute. They will bring evil upon you in the dispute, Then you will be made their witness, They will bring you to bolster a case not your own. 

Ancient Sumerian wisdom literature on why you should avoid the Discourse at all costs.

[relatablepoetryandquotes]

“But she wanted to break the spell that had fallen on the house; to break the pane of glass which separated them from other people.” - Virginia Woolf, A Haunted House

[totaldisaster97]

[matincrow]

“Like he’s telling the main girl that her girlfriend is eventually going to leave her because “nothing in Highschool last forever” and I know that like 99% of the shit that happens in Highschool won’t last but some shit does. And I just hate that, like I hate that older generations brush off everything that happens in Highschool like it doesn’t matter, but that shit can effect you for the rest of your life, it fucking matters.”

My brain is only functional at 4am

[matincrow]

Fuck you I’ll do what I want

I want your attention, is it so bad that I want my fathers attention. That I want you to say that you’re proud of me, that you love me and for it to feel like you mean it. You pick us up and you won’t even spare a glance for me. I tell you my grades are good, nothing. I tell you I got a job, you just keep asking my sister how she’s doing. So I do the one thing I know will get your attention, I tell you something that will make you mad. And of course you react, I tell you I want to dye another part of my hair, you say “why can’t you be normal?” I tell you I’m gonna donate my plasma for money and you say “where did I go wrong rasing you?” YOU DIDNT RAISE ME. My mother was basically a single mother because you couldn’t even spare a glance for me, let alone actually take care of me. Mom would be gone for months for work and I had to fend for myself , make my own dinner when I was fucking 6. Then my sister came along and of course you wouldn’t do anything for her, so here I was basically raising a baby for months all while you played video games in your room. And you want to ask where you went wrong raising me.

[thepersonalquotes]

[matincrow]

[leohearts]

“I’m trying. I’m trying really hard but I can’t pretend it doesn’t hurt when it really does.”

— Leohearts

[stillglowinstillcrowin-deactiva]

God I relate to this