highschool is literally the worst in every possible way.
who tf thought it was a good idea.
I dont think ill ever get back my mental health that this place has robbed me
its hypocritical fucking teachers
its asshole staff who dont give a shit about the students but pretend to when its necessary
all the teachers who pretend to be your friend only to turn around and completely destroy all your confidence because you forgot one assignment or where absent one too many times
im so close to being done with this place, but the finish line has never felt so far away.
why do they continue to kick me when im down
why do they continuously say they understand that im dealing with a shit ton of mental health problems that cause me to struggle, then offer zero help that i dont have to initiate despite initiation being one of my issues
i miss when this was easy
i miss when i didnt really have to try
i miss when i could look forward to the next day, instead of dreading it
i miss when i could sleep
i cant even remember the last time i was happy without fear, without dread, without the ever-hovering dark cloud of thoughts that something bad is coming
i miss being able to genuinely smile
i miss the time when i didnt hate myself for literally everything i do or dont do
i miss the time when i didnt cry once, twice, three times every damn week
i just want to be happy again
i just want to feel like im doing things for myself and not out of fear
i miss not feeling guilty for spending time on things that bring me temporary joy
and fuck whoever thinks that its okay to put students through this