dumb, ugly, and hungry

I like puppers

[corvuscricket-deactivated202411]

Friends take notes

[ender-w-deactivated20190416]

Do it pussy

[corvuscricket-deactivated202411]

[quacktales]

[vaporwavevocap]

Good post.

[blind3dbylight]

Donald Duck finally gets some goddamn recognition around here.

[tracer-isms]

reblog if you love and respect Donald Duck in your house

[wodneswynn-deactivated-deactiva]

I like Marie Kondo because I’m so used to all the rhetoric around “decluttering” or “tidying up” being about how it’s somehow immoral to own things and that we need to burn our possessions and all live in sterile minimalist Hell in a plain white apartment with a deck chair and one potted plant.

So I like hearing the tidy lady tell me that yes I should live in a hovel with a bunch of linguistics books and dragon statues and here are some ways to keep the hovel clean and orderly while I lurk in it.

It’s so refreshing.

[wodneswynn-deactivated-deactiva]

All the other home decor people:  “Kitschy nerd shit is a waste of space and you’re gonna get your soul devoured by a chaos dragon or some shit if you don’t get rid of all of it right now.”

Marie Kondo:  “See, if you organize the kitchen in this way, you can display these Khorn Berzerker miniatures far more prominently.”

[unicornempire]

The idea that you should model your life after what brings YOU joy, rather than what society/people think should bring you joy, is an act of rebellion.

[dream-realm-deactivated20260416]

[meangirlnurse]

literally nothing is funnier than just living your life with a cat in a sweater vest. constantly feels like he’s about to offer to do my taxes

[meangirlnurse]

i was trying to finish this post while he sat on the bar stool next to mine beeping at me for attention, and when the attention didn’t come quickly enough he put his paws on my shoulder and slapped me in the face

which is, again, infinitely funnier when your cat is wearing a sweatervest

[meangirlnurse]

im being bullied by the world’s smallest accountant

[drcaligosto-moving]

ATTENTION TUMBLR!!

So me and my parents just made a bet that, if this post gets 750,000 notes, I can have a pet bird!

We’ll pay for all the expenses!

All I need is for this particular post to get 750,000 notes, and a bird will be all mine!

My local petstore sells these GORGEOUS blue budgies, and I’m dying to have one

When I say ‘blue budgie’, I mean one like this:

(I got this image off of google, but it is extremely similar to the bird I want!)

Please, please, PLEASE let me have him!!

Like and RB anywhere you can!

Please help me with this!!

- Riley

[the-penguin-king]

[yololanda-deactivated20181207]

someone waited their entire life to publish that

[traptacular-deactivated20180125]

time for me to get off ig

[captainsnoop-deactivated2020041]

donate to my kickstarter so i can build a time machine and

get julius caesar addicted to hentai

seduce cleopatra

“oh but how will you seduce cleopatra?” you might ask because you’re a moron. it’s simple: i’m 6′2″ and i’m fat. fatness was considered attractive back then because if you were fat, that meant you were wealthy enough to get fat. plus, 6′2″ is unreasonably gigantically tall in the BC times. 

so cleopatra will be like “a giant? AND he’s got stretch marks?” and she’ll instantly become infatuated with my rotund, hairy body 

then i will live in royalty for the rest of my days. kickstarter backers will have their names written in my tomb, baffling archaeologists for centuries to come. 

[theirisianprincess]

My favorite part of this is that OP didn’t feel the need to explain how he’d get Julius Caesar addicted to hentai.

[ororomunroedontpullout]

A true warrior queen has risen

[emmersdrawberry]

C h o s e n

[r0seprinc3ss-blog]

I just want to be smoking a fat blunt with a hot girl going down on me rn…

[wildlifewednesdays]

A porcupine’s Halloween present (+ original sound effects)

[docwithtardisfez]

I had no idea giant porcupines made fucking precious sounds

[11213372-deactivated20160412]

[nightonblogmountain]

THAT’S THE SOUND IT MAKES!?!?!?

UN-BE-FUCKING-LIEVABLE 

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

We got asked if this is cute and okay. I can very happily say yes, this is stupid cute and those are happy porcupine noises. 

One of my favorite things about doing zoo work was all the noises you never realize the animals make when they’re excited or interested in a new thing. Coatimundis squeak and snuffle, and giant porcupines make that sound. 

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen this video on my dash, so it’s time to bring it back! The information provided above is still correct, and was sourced directly from the zookeeper that takes care of this specific animal.

[kotbliny]

[eroscestlavie]

Update I just got an opportunity to make exactly $115 and i’m not kidding so like. Reblog to make $115.

[localstarboy]

SHE THOUGHT IT WAS THE OCEAN, IT’S JUST A POOL 🎡🚀🎈🎪🤹🏽‍♀️🎭

[jackmeatington]

THIS THE SAME DUDE?

[discourseful]

[carnival-phantasm]

[weirdness-is-good]

[jumex]

Honestly are we getting this bread or is this bread getting us

[1dietcokeinacan]

[coltre]

I am insecure and sensitive and I ruin everything I love