Jack of All Trades. Master of None.

22. Posts a little bit of everything. Tags rarely. SIDEBLOG: jordinawrites THEME UNDER CONSTRUCTION

[cornyonmains]

Correcting a Chinese kid's English homework that another American got wrong on a Chinese app named after Mao Zedong's Little Red Book as part of a mass online temper tantrum to help save TikTok was not on my 2025 bingo card, but here we are.

This might actually be the political fuck-up of the century. Our politicians are all 900 year old crypt keepers who probably turn off their computers by unplugging them from the wall. Were there a single synapse in their decrepit domes focused on something besides their next payday, they might have thought twice about challenging Millennials and Zoomers on the internet. I repeat, ON THE INTERNET. Oh to have the confidence of an octogenarian born into generational wealth.

Something I need people to understand is the "security threat" doesn't just stop at data. The mere act of normal Chinese and American citizens interacting scares the shit out of governments on both sides. I'm already seeing videos from folks here in the US talking about how shocked they were at the grocery hauls in China, and how much they could get with very little. Chinese people are watching Americans absolutely dog walk their own government and talk it for filth. People are having fun.

All rich people had to do was remember the deal. Americans are terrible people. If they had just paid folks enough to buy a house, an electric car, and a vacation once a year they'd sit in front of the TV in a docile fugue state while the wealthy shoved their boots up the ass of the global south. Now who knows what's going to happen. I just know it's a testament to how done with Mark Zuckerberg's ass people are that they're rather learn Mandarin than go back to Facebook.

I think 2025 is about to be a ride.

[oh-look-car-horns]

The fact that the citizens of two enemy superpowers are just getting along and chilling shows that there's really only like a handful of guys that have beef with each other and if World War 3 starts that's why.

[mysharona1987]

Well, yes, it’s obvious why Rednote is a bigger threat now.

[assiraphales]

twitter is owned by a tech bro supervillain, facebook is getting rid of FACT checking bc it’s “biased” and moving all moderators to texas, tik tok is getting banned (I’ll b using a vpn but still), insta is owned by the dude getting rid of fact checking……but tumblr? good old tumblr? here she remains, vastly unchanged but for the few updates we usually bully staff into undoing. a true stronghold of democracy and free speech. waiting for those who abandoned her to come crawling back. bc yah. we’re still here

[bloodbending]

can’t believe tiktok is actually getting banned, twitter is infested with bots and brainworm-infested musk bots, facebook is king of QAnon, instagram caught the plague from facebook and is dying a slow death in real time… and as the dust settles… only Miss Tumblr is left standing… failing upwards once again

[curliestofcrowns]

where's that speed skating gif

[scarygodmother]

[beyonce-knowles-carter]

Avatar: The Last Airbender - The Tales of Ba Sing Se (2006) THE TALE OF IROH

[nevver]

North American Purgatory, Marc Trujillo

[10inchflaccid-deactivated201701]

oh my…. god

[themostvilemaninbaseball]

It’s 7:23. It’s June. It’s 65 degrees. You just got off work. You’ve got a few errands to run.

[lesbianrey]

i think that instead of making new movies they should just rerelease the lord of the rings trilogy in theaters and we should pretend we’re all seeing it for the first time

[ao3feed-destiel]

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2alKglW

by Castiel_For_King

After a hunt, Cas and Dean get in to an argument in their motel room and someone calls the police for a ‘domestic dispute’. Everything goes down hill from there and Sam has to come save the day.

Words: 9039, Chapters: 1/3, Language: English

Fandoms: Supernatural

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Sam Winchester

Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Destiel - Freeform, Pining Dean, Sam Ships It, BAMF Sam Winchester, Family, Team Free Will, Hurt Castiel, Caring Dean, Gentle Dean, Protective Sam, Protective Dean, Sam flexes his lawyer skills, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Hospitals, Police, Misunderstandings, Everyone is just trying to do their job, Fallen Castiel, Happy Ending, Angst, schmoop and porn at the end

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2alKglW

[castiel--for--king]

yo go read my story im actually kind of proud of this one

[castiel--for--king]

omg four years kater and I finally just finished it

[liberal-memes]

[princessnijireiki]

This is Adam Erickson, pastor at the Clackamas United Church of Christ in Milwaukee, Oregon!

[saxgoddess25]

Oh finally. A real Christian.

[plutojester]

pal pal palpatine, star wars’ greatest love machine

[positivexcellence]

Mark Hamill’s IG story featuring Supernatural

[flygon]

SHES 15...NOT ALL GROWN UP!

[natsufatsu]

Normalizing pedophilia by promoting the sexualization of adolescents

[emotions-oper9r-deactivated2021]

[recoil-operated-deactivated2021]

[takineko]

[catchymemes]

[kscotter]

the fucking wheezy laugh that just came out of my body

[gaycism]

A travesty that this has no sound

[greedyraptor]

Noooooooooooooooo lmfao what the hell

[fatalism-and-villainy]

was anyone going to tell me that consuming hard liquor and other types of alcohol in the same sitting gets you drunk super quickly, or was I just supposed to experience that myself?

[fatalism-and-villainy]

I keep telling people about this experience of mine and how I didn’t know you weren’t supposed to mix different kinds of alcohol, and they’re all horrified and keep saying, “you could die from that! that’s dangerous!” and it’s like great! good thing nobody ever taught me this at any point in my life! Like why isn’t this sort of harm reduction thing taught in schools, instead of Doing Alcohol Is Bad, Don’t Give In To Peer Pressure?

[miseriathome]

Information below is a combination of alcohol safety bartender training, lived experience as a drinker, and research done both now and in the past. Warning that I am not really sober at the time of writing.

“Beer before liquor, never been sicker; liquor before beer, you’re in the clear” is a relatively common saying (my college’s alcohol ed program explicitely stated it), but it’s not completely factual in and of itself, and a lot of myths about mixing alcohol are only half-truths.

The reason why it’s generally advised to go from harder alcohol to less alcoholic alcohol is because getting buzzed off some pregame beers lowers your inhibition and makes it harder for you to tell how far gone you are, which makes it significantly more difficult for you to pace yourself with liquor shots and respond to your body’s signals to stop. The idea behind gradually drinking less alcohol per drink throughout the night is that it slows your roll for you and makes it harder to get increasingly more fucked up without feeling it.

That being said, there are a lot of factors that can make different kinds of alcohol hit differently; the carbonation in beer can make you feel full and deter you from drinking more until the gas subsides, people trying to appreciate the taste of wine may absorb slightly more through their mouths before it goes into their stomachs, mixing alcohol with caffeine/fats/sugars (eg sodas) will make it absorb way less slowly, and people who are drinking hard liquor won’t feel the majority of its alcoholic effects until it hits their small intestine, which can take quite a while if they’re digesting other food. Those kinds of things will affect the rate, volume, and concentration of alcohol which then affects how quickly it gets absorbed, but different kinds of alcohol don’t like negatively interact with each other, other than being More Alcohol.

The basic idea is that drinking while already slightly tipsy makes it easier for you to get Too Drunk, because the more drunk you are, the less acutely aware you are of the fact that you’re going to be getting More Drunk, plus the fact that as the night goes on, you end up having more and more things to keep track of in order to monitor your inebriation level, for example how much food you’ve had, how far along it is to being digested, and how much unabsorbed alcohol you have looming in your system before that alcohol-soaked-food-in-your-stomach hits your small intestine and actually fucks you up. You could get a decent buzz going off of [small amount of] drinks at the start of the night, but then before those drinks have properly metabolized (past your mouth, past your stomach, into your small intestine), you could have knocked back [double the small amount] more. And then those new drinks hit half and hour later and you’re on the floor because your tipsy brain went “[many] drinks? Great plan.” If you’re drinking jack and cokes all night, they’re all going to fully hit at a fairly steady pace relative to when you put them in your mouth, relative to drinking one carb/air-heavy beer alongside one high proof vodka shot, which will metabolize at staggered paces.

It’s not that mixing alcohol is chemically bad (after all, shot/cocktails which mix different kinds of liquor are a thing, not to mention drinks that mix beer/wine with hard liquor), because alcohol is just alcohol. But the behavior of mixing different kinds of alcohol introduces a bunch of factors which make it easier to miscalculate/be less conscientious, and in terms of numbers and recollection of life experiences makes it seem particularly dangerous.

[mighthavegiffed]

Baby Yoda

for @rustandruin

[antilla-dean]

I spend a fair amount of time teaching women to kick men in the balls, and I’ve learned that this activity tends to generate controversy. Here, according to actual adults who have actually said these things to me, are some reasons you should not kick a guy in the balls:

1. It will make him angry.

I should hope so. I’m not sending him a friend request. If I kick him hard enough, there’s a good chance I’ll render him unable to act upon his anger. That’s my goal. His feelings are his problem.

2. It will make him hurt you worse.

Statistics say otherwise. And anyway, he’s already demonstrated his desire to hurt me. Why should I give him carte blanche to decide how much he’s going to hurt me? I’d rather be an active participant in that decision-making process.

3. Groin kicks aren’t really that devastating; I’ve seen lots of guys get hit in the balls and it hardly fazed them.

This response (almost universally from men) is so common I’ve come to think of it as “groinsplaining”—you can see it many of the YouTube comments in the videos linked above. These people rarely volunteer to demonstrate their own iron balls in a real kicking situation, but they confidently assert that men in general can shrug off all kinds of damage to the groin. All I can say is, I’ve seen two-year-olds take down grown men via the groin, and toddlers don’t even have any training. I do. I like my odds.

4. We shouldn’t be teaching people how to kick men in the balls; we should be teaching men not to do anything that would make us have to kick them in the balls.

Hey, that’s a great idea! Do you have a detailed, research-based plan for teaching all men everywhere to behave themselves all the time? And do you have funding for your efforts, and buy-in from politicians and community leaders, and a network of trained, experienced instructors who can effect this change? If not, better get started on your grant proposal. In the meantime, I’ll just be over here teaching people how to kick guys in the balls. That’s what I do.

5. Telling people they should kick an assailant in the balls is the same as telling victims who didn’t kick their assailant in the balls that they did something wrong.

No, it isn’t. It’s a practical way to reduce the number of future victims by giving them more viable options to disrupt and survive an assault.

Fact: We have the power to damage the bodies of men who try to hurt us. You’re saying we shouldn’t let people use that power. I’m offering people more choices; you’re trying to take them away.

6. Kicking a guy in the balls just makes the world a more violent place.

Maybe, in the short term. But if it stops him from killing someone, or putting them in the hospital, isn’t that a net win for non-violence? The Dalai Lama thinks so.

One in four women will have good reason to kick a guy in the balls at some point in her life. Luckily, it’s not rocket science. Anyone can do it! And ball-kicking’s efficacy is beyond dispute, as the men of MMA so nobly helped us illustrate here. Gentlemen, if any of you are reading this, and conscious: Cheers, and get well soon (the non-wife-beaters among you, anyway).

[appropriately-inappropriate]

AIA REPORTING FOR DUTY

okay, so!

There is a trick to it. You do NOT want to soccer kick the dude because that’s a little projectile aiming at a littler target.

It’ll do in a pinch, and it’ll hurt, but it won’t incapacitate, which is what you want. You don’t want “ouch!” Or even “FUCK!”

You want him puking on the floor, and this is how we do:

There’s two ranges where a groin kick works: close and mid-range.

Say someone grabs you face to face, or pins you to the wall, and your hands are blocked. Now you’re close-range. What do you do? You come in closer, as close as you can, and with every ounce of adrenaline and aggression in your body, you do a can-can kick.

You know the first step in the can-can, where you raise your knee up as high as it’ll go as strong as you can?

Do that, as hard as you can, repeatedly.

If that doesn’t work, here’s the alternative. You’re going to take your hand, grasp between the thighs underhand. Its going to feel like you’re “cradling” the testicles. Dig your fingertips into the fragile skin BEHIND the scrotum. Then, once you have a good grip, you turn your hand into a vise, with your fingers digging inwards to the material. If you do it right, you should feel the testes INSIDE the scrotum. You want, whenever possible, to hook your fingers under them.

Then, with your hands in a claw and your fingertips latched behind the testes, you turn your hand sharply, as though you were turning a doorknob. Simultaneously, haul your elbow back and up as hard as you can.

If done properly, this technique can tear the scrotal tissue, and done with enough force, can tear the testes out of your attacker’s body.

No matter HOW pissed he is, he’s gonna drop. I’ve tried this technique on guys wearing cups and even with protection, it is not a fun feeling.

If you’re mid-range and have enough room for a kick, the goal becomes to use your shin. The shin is actually called the tibia, which ounce for ounce is one of the strongest bones in your body. So, here’s what you do, my little bloodthirsty beaus:

You aim, you scream “DO NOT COME CLOSER I SAID NO!” (legal purposes, because now you’re officially exercising your right to self-defence). Maintain a 360 degree awareness, just in case he has friends, and then, when he’s close enough, connect your shin full on soccer kick with the delicate squish of his testicles.

What you want is as much upwards force as possible in combination with as much momentum as you can manage. When he collapses, which he will, then stomp on his groin again, and then run.

The latter has less of a trick to it. It’s primarily about momentum and force.

Remember, if you’re close enough to put your hands on him, use your knee. If he’s coming at you, use your shin.

If you can smell the nachos he had for dinner, rip his fucking balls off.

It’s easy to do, they’re tiny little squishiness wrapped in a delicate flap of skin about as thin as a toenail.

Remember: if he’s coming at you, he’s ALREADY out to hurt you. Might as well give the fucker a reason to be pissed.

[floranna2]

How to Kick a Guy in the Balls: An Illustrated Guide

[asmalltauhuey]

Someone once told me that the way to train a proper knee in the groin (with appropriate aggression if you want to hurt him enough to let you go is to train and act as if you’re not aiming your knee at the groin, but aiming for somewhere much higher so that your mind knows to really ram your knee upward.

[naamahdarling]

A male friend of a friend of the family once generously and kindly advised me that if anyone with nuts ever got up on me without me wanting him to do so, to “grab his balls as hard as you can, squeeze, and yank away from his body until they feel like marmalade. Then run.” I have never forgotten this advice.

[bluestockingt-deactivated202501]

My self-defense trainer used to say: “Eyes are like grapes. Ears are like pull tabs. And if you’re going to grab some, girls - grab, pull, twist, and bring those balls home to Mama.” …I really need to embroider that on a cushion.

[princefuckyouknickers]

https://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2015/12/30/why-dont-men-kick-each-other-in-the-balls/ 

“What would street fights between guys look like—or professional fights for that matter—if one could go below the belt? For one, there’d be a lot more collapsing. Two, a lot more writhing in pain. Three, a lot less getting up. All in all, it would add up to less time looking powerful and more time looking pitiful. And it would send a clear message that men’s bodies are vulnerable.“

…

“So, men generally agree to pretend that the balls just aren’t there. The effect is that we tend to forget just how vulnerable men are to the right attack and continue to think of women as naturally more fragile.”

And:

https://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2017/07/31/i-argue-that-men-avoid-ball-kicking-to-protect-the-myth-of-masculinity-men-respond-in-the-most-surprising-way/

“In 2015 I wrote an essay in which I speculated about why we don’t see men kicking each other in the balls more often. We leave no stones unturned here at SocImages, folks.I argued that men don’t kick each other in the balls because it would reveal to everyone an inherent and undeniable biological weakness in every man, not just the man getting kicked.  In other words, it’s a secret pact to protect the myth of masculine superiority. I expected a reaction, but I was genuinely surprised at what transpired. In public — in the comments — men debated strategy, arguing that men don’t kick each other in the balls because it’s actually a difficult blow to land or would escalate the fight. But in private — in my email inbox — men sent me hushed messages of you-are-so-right-though.“

[thenzoblog]

Just doing my regular real blog for y’all. Keep safe.

[thenzoblog]

Just reading these notes gives me such a warm, comforting feeling. Love you all.