[homosexyality]

do you ever scroll past a novel-length post and think Um Absolutely Not

[bogleech]

Why is it that kinda creepy dudes almost universally seem to prefer the word “females” over saying “women?” Are they trying to sound academic or something? It’s like they’re talking about an animal species. “Let me describe my observations of THE FEMALES”

[screensavorstudios]

That’s because if you refer to a female as a “woman” you have to deal with the “Are you saying I look old” problem, and if you refer to her as a “girl” then you have to deal with “Are you saying I look like a child” problem.

The workings of the female mind us such a mystery that referring to them as seperate species is both the safest and most honest way to address them.

[maxknightley]

Have you spoken to a single woman in your life you fucking weirdo.

[melonmemes]

[ladyshinga]

if Gilbert Gottfried isn’t voicing this slamming power bottom then what are we even doing here

[elisamaza]

this screenshot leaves out the best part of the character design

guy fieri couture

[blapis-blazuli]

I think we’re not seeing the bigger picture here which is that Disney has a dating sim app, if Iago is in it then who the fuck else is in it

[dirhwangdaseul-archived]

I cannot stress this enough, but, what the fuck

[unpretty]

[nootofboot]

I feel like it should be clarified that the sexy anime husband next to Iago is not, in fact, Jafar.

That’s Jafar’s staff.

[catparazzi]

HIS WHAT ???

[actualaster]

This post is a new punch in the face every time I see it

[the-mighty-birdy-deactivated202]

I sincerely hate this with every fiber of my being

[libertarirynn-deactivated202006]

What fucking universe is this????

[snorlaxatives]

[skyrotinker-blog]

Look at dem thighs

[remakesihavetoremake-deactivate]

I know everybodys talking about the article but its this tweet itself that makes me lose my shit

[loismacgiver-deactivated2018061]

tinder link in bio.

[swoopyswish]

the replies:

[newtgeiszler]

*tapes scissors to my dick* why won’t anyone fuck me, edward scissordick?

[birdsarecommunists]

Cute music terms to name your children:

Viola

Harmony

Melody

Cadence

Carol

Hymn

Celeste

Clef

Agitato

Oboe Player

F Sharp

♮

Barbaro

Plagal

Smorzando

ii♭ 6-4

Canon in inversion and augmentation

[drdessertfox]

[cerulean-beekeeper-deactivated2]

[confusedduck]

[dagangstapenguin]

i can’t even think of another deadly sin that could apply

[mysticbaconslice]

hey someone ask me what my least favorite piece of home decor in my room is

[mysticbaconslice]

it’s my old ass piss flavored lava lamp

[mysticbaconslice]

first of all

Dave is a fucking guest

[divinelypsychotic-blog]

piss flavored?

[shiraglassman]

This is even funnier than gal pal

We just bought a cute sofa from an antique shop, while being very obviously a couple and looking like a butch/femme salt and pepper shaker set, and the shop owner wanted to know how long we’d been, and I quote, “hanging out.”

[shiraglassman]

I’ll still laughing at this the next morning.

[fireandwonder]

*gets down on one knee in front of gal pal* *takes out ring* Will you hang out with me?

[skunkydpoopy]

There was one time I was out shoe shopping with my partner and I was debating buying these cute pastel green shoes. The saleswoman was like “well why don’t we ask your friend here?” I said “oh actually this is my partner.” The woman stared at us blank faced for a few awkward seconds before forcibly smiling and saying, “partner in crime?”

[shiraglassman]

JAW….DROP…. 

[lady-patra]

In a store once with a girl I used to date, browsing through all these different mattresses. One of the sales ladies came over and talked about all the beds with us for quite some time while we told her what we were looking for. It was painfully obvious we were a couple, like literally holding hands and calling each cute pet names out loud. Finally the sales lady laughs nervously and says “sooo.. wow, what kind of roommate setup is that that forces you two to have to share a bed!?” I just sort of stared at her for second at a complete loss and said “… the dating kind…”

[vibinwitch]

Cute nicknames to call your same gender partner:

-hang out buddy -partner in crime -roommate I’m forced to share a bed with

[operativesurprise]

How about the sales person - who has known you for literally years because it’s a small town - suddenly deciding that I must have an adult/near adult child  rather than us being in an LGBTQ relationship.  Ma’am you’ve known me since I was born and you see me weekly for birdseed. You would have noticed me birthing someone two years older than me. 

[ohshitthisbloghasothercolors]

Could you guys imagine if the only sex education people got was from bad fanfiction?

[teaberryblue]

Well, there would be a lot more access to birth control because men would think they could get pregnant.

[salty-red-mage]

[androginking]

When You First Come Out w/ @toomuchducky

[oisynbly]

Let her have the gayke!

[theheartisalonelyhunter]

This is so cute and nice

[m4d-minute]

the gentle “it’s me, I’m gay”

[that1guyfromcolorado]

Move I’m gay

[lately-leo-blog]

cis person: so have you had,, ,, , the surgery?

me: u bet

[birdofhum]

Tumblr recommended this post to me and I can’t even be mad cos it made me laugh

[michaelmilkers]

full offense but we will rock you by queen is 10000% a gay rights anthem and straight people dont have any rights to the song sorry :/

[michaelmilkers]

“Buddy, you’re a young man, hard man Shouting in the street, gonna take on the world someday You got blood on your face, you big disgrace Waving your banner all over the place”

like how can u hear that verse and think its a song for hetties idk how much more obvious it can be :/ :/ :/

[femmefagfatale777]

Y'all big mad in the notes

[gecsplaining]

Actually every song by Queen is a lgbt anthem

[cheese-sample-official]

tbh I’ve never had my debit card info stolen and I chalk it up to the security number on the back being 666

like if I was a criminal out stealing credit/debit card info and I saw that?

nah man I’m out

[executiveoutcomes-deactivated20]

damn an whats the numbers on the front 

[imabrickshithouse]

Yeah, and I bet that expiration date is wild af too

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]