𝙗𝙖𝙗𝙮 𝙝𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙮

Miles 'Milo' McIntosh. 29. Barrister. Oxford bred,

[mcintoshmilo-archive]

evanmcintosh​:

Okay, maybe Evan had gotten a little carried away tonight at the pub. It’s not like he intended to drink until he couldn’t walk straight or start a fight with some dude for being rude to his girl but now he was outside the pub begging the bouncer to let him back in. All he wanted was to finish his drink.

After what seemed like forever of him complaining to the large dude he heard a familiar voice behind him. He rolled his eyes and stumbled a bit as he turned to look at him “it woudn’ be public intox-intoxication if the dude would just let me back in.” He turned back to the bouncer “Cmon, I like didn’t even pay my tab.”

Originally posted by caroildanvers

It wasn’t that Milo didn’t want to be there for his brothers, he tried, maybe he didn’t try his hardest, however in his defence - well technically, he didn’t have one, but the point was, he moved to Gradian to be closer to his siblings, Kinsley just happened to be an added bonus, one he couldn’t complain about. “You’re an idiot, a very drink idiot.” Milo muttered, watching as his brother staggered back and forth between him and the bounce. “Evan, you can barely stand. let alone walk, now I’ll pay the bill.” 

“Listen, It’s fucking cold, obscenely cold, and you’re a little annoying when you’ve had a few, so please, get up, get in the car, and please keep the vomit contained, until you’re out of it.” 

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It was no surprise that Milo, and Evan were continuously at each others throats,  after all they were the complete opposites of one another, but still, they were brothers, but despite that any common ground to mend their already deeply fractures relationship, always ended with Milo doing, or saying something that pushed his brother further away. in fact, both of his brothers, so when he got a text at quarter to midnight regarding his brothers drunken antics outside the pub, he turned up clad in in pjs. 

“Evan.” Milo muttered, “Public intoxication, isn’t cute” @evanmcintosh​

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evanmcintosh​:

Im your little brother, that’s like my job. You could have like taken a culinary class at some point idk?

Originally posted by chrisze

I’m calling bullshit, Evan. You’re enjoying the fact that I fail in an area you excel in, and as my baby brother, I knew, knew you were going to be a nightmare, but apparently asking our parents to return you was ‘unethical’ and not to mention the time I left you on Mrs Wazowskis doorstep, the old bat returned you not even 10 minutes later.  

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leviticxsmcc​:

At least i’m a ken doll and not a fucking lego man, you fucking square, you loved my dick, stop with your bullshitting, or I will have no choice but to remind you as to how much better I am than any walking sexpot you’ve ever had in ur life.

KINDER SURPRISE Ken Doll, you missed the most important part, and lego man? take it back, you abominable twat or you will be known as a ‘little tea pot’ instead of sexpot from here on out. For the hundredth time, you were very forgetful, did not live up to the hype, and not to mention how I would very much  like to keep the unfortunate incident forgotten, I’m still trying to recover from the mental scarring of having seen your tea spout of a dick.  remind you that the sexpot currently in my life? doesn’t come with all the added baggage, plus not to mention  babywatch, lost any and all sex appeal, when he became a family man, less snacc more happy meal. 

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it had been a long two weeks of late nights and early mornings, and despite the fact they lived together, they seemed to always end up missing the other, It was either one of them was already sleeping when the other got home, or one of them was still sleeping when the other got up, and Milo was missing Kinsley quite a lot. so he had wrapped up his day earlier, in attempts to surprise his boyfriend that evening, not long after Milo walked through the door, he texted his boyfriend, letting him know  When Milo got home that evening, he texted his boyfriend telling him not to be late home. 

A little after 8 had finally rolled around, Milo could hear his boyfriend struggling the get the front door open, before walking in his - no, It was their apartment. “First things first.” Milo spoke, downing the remaining wine in his glass, before moving over to his boyfriend and kissing him. “Now that’s out of the way, you’re 45 minutes late.”   @kxnscvlier​

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cxnrxse​:

I say you should have followed through with it, honestly.

Oh please, once you’re over this whole throwing your dummy out of your pram routine, when you realise, I’m the better roommate, and secondly when you’d realise you actually miss the irritable twit, and his constant whining, and that ridiculously handsome face that you can’t help no longer staying mad at. 

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leviticxsmcc​:

I’m BAYWATCH, who tf do you think you are?? An Oxford boy who WAS PRETTY HAPPY TO BE IN MY HOTEL ROOM ALL THOSE YEARS AGO, so stay in ur lane.

Baywatch? pipe down, teapot, if you’re anything, you’re BABYWATCH, with all due disrespect, you kinder surprise ken doll, I have tried profusely and successfully to block that unsightly event from my mind, don’t make me sue you for deformation, 

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gradianalexander​:

I’m not a culinary expert, but my girlfriend thinks my cooking is good. Does that count? Anyway, I make a great crepe and I could teach you how not to undercook chicken.

Does she think you’re a good cook Alexander, or is she simply a good girlfriend willing to lie and protect your ego? unlike this massive twit, I’m dating, so I’ll take you up on the offer of attempting to make something edible that isn’t pasta, prove him wrong. 

[mcintoshmilo-archive]

gradianauggie​:

Nah, just finish the job, mate.

mission failed, successfully, unfortunate for you really. 

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kxnscvlier​:

Baby, some things can’t be learned, and for you? This is one of them. I’d trust McDonalds over your food, so leave the cooking to me.

Worst experience of my life, disappointment is an understatement, I’m scarred here on out, find me a boyfriend, who’ll encourage me, not one who’ll baby me and insult me all with in the same sentence, and with all due disrespect, It was entirely your fault the chicken was undercooked, but let’s go on and pretend that we don’t both enjoy indulging in the occasional McDonalds meal. It’s deliciously questionably, and has me hating myself after every bite. 

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evanmcintosh​:

You don’t know how to cook? Guess college isn’t all it’s set up tp be.

Yes, because I attended one of the most prestigious universities in the country for a doctorate in  poultry

What are you trying to do here, Evan? shame me?

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patrick-clarington​:

I am still a terrible cook but Jackie is quite good so maybe ask her?

And have such a lovely lady bare witness to the atrocities that is me in the kitchen, trying to cook something that isn’t pasta? 

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asher-mccarthy​:

Can’t help you with that. Just tell Kinsley to stop complaining though.

Have you ever tried telling Kinsley Cavalier to stop complaining? because I can tell you now It’ll end with a midnight run for mint chocolate chip Ice-cream, and this ridiculously adorable man, I can’t do that to him, and most importantly, I can’t do that to myself. 

[mcintoshmilo-archive]

TEXT 📲 MILO & ENZO

ENZO: Hey.

[...]

ENZO: I'm still not a fan of you right now.

ENZO: Do you want to come to the Versace launch campaign party my agency is doing?

MILO: I'll add you to the growing list of siblings, who'd prefer for my existence to be non.

[..]

MILO: You want me to come to a party to celebrate ... models?

MILO: Do I get a plus one?

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kxnscvlier​:

I know you are, it’s actually cute, and a HUGE ego boost, not that I don’t know i’m desirable, but you have a nice balance of inflating it and humbling me within the same sentence. It also makes work really difficult because i’m all too often thinking about you.

Can we agree to disagree, settle on a young Brad Pitt?

As much as I love being the one to give you such a HUGE ego boost, I do quite like humbling you, a little more than I’d like to admit, but I can’t have you walking around here like Leviticus thinking you’re a goddess, and could potentially do better than me, could you imagine the devastation? me ugly crying and eating my weight in ice-cream. not again. I won’t allow, and I refuse to have anything but me be in your mint at all times of the day, work included. imagine your entire world not being revolve around me.  

Can we agree that you have the most insane taste in men? and that is not intended as compliment. Brad fucking Pitt, Kinsley? 

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cxnrxse​:

Why do you think I have some obsession for seeing you nude?

Satire, Connor, that and your lack of boundaries.

[mcintoshmilo-archive]

So, after being accused of “almost” trying to kill my boyfriend, which in my defence wasn’t even an attempt, and If it were, would I really choose the food?? what am I, a scorned housewife? no,  so after endless hours of being ridiculed for undercooking chicken, and my ego not being able to withstand my boyfriend telling me I can’t cook, which I don’t usually encourage lying, but I’ve now decided to take cooking lessons to prove him wrong. Now I’m in need of a culinary expert, any volunteers?