The crazy mind of a pisces boy

born in 1997 17 March. trying to change my life the good way I'm an work in progress I love hearing stories and I'm always here to listen to people and talk with them. I live in the Netherlands and I am a weird person but weird is good. WELKOM TO MY BLOG ENJOY THE CRAZY MIND OF A PISCES BOY O O \_/ it's meant to be a smiley :-P

[toastbutteregg]

[melimion]

i did not notice this was for dogs seriously thought it was for me

[toastbutteregg]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Hey I heard you’re giving out anxiety, can I have 1 anxiety please?

yes, here is a baby oarfish 

[imaramennoodle]

that’s a BABY?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

boy howdy are you in for a treat! introducing, the Oarfish!

MA! THERE’S A WEIRD FUCKING FISH!

Not much is known about Oarfish. Their maximum length is debatable, though there are reports of specimen up to 56 ft long. They live at great depths, and are rarely observed alive. Here’s a relatively small one:

Slightly larger one:

aaaaand, little bigger:

Yeah. these children get long.  hold on a mo’, i might have a better photo

yeah. there we go. a few hundred lbs of Oarfish. like i said, length-variable. that one’s only about 28 feet though. so like, imagine that but double. 

look how excited everyone is. well, everyone but the fish. oh, fun fact! they can self-amputate up to 3/4th of their body. lizard style. 

Historically, Oarfish have been described as sea serpents, and are probably responsible for a fair portion of myths. In Japanese folklore, their appearance portends earthquakes. Though rarely seen, Oarfish live in every ocean. All around the world. Everywhere. No matter what coastline you’re on, they’re always there. Just a few thousand feet below water. Waiting.

Watching.

[flowerbleedme]

JESUS THAT WAS MORE THAN 1 ANXIETY

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I AM A WHOLESALE PROVIDER

[gremlinofpasta]

I LOVE OARFISH

THIS TINY ASS THING- TURNS INTO A BIG HARMLESS LONG BOI

[eye-know]

[catchymemes]

[duckiedyke-deactivated20220716]

@ryebread-witchhunt

[dancing-cockroaches]

Now these are some cats that can pose for a picture

[theholetheyfoundsaddamin-deacti]

[melimion]

you should do this on the ceiling then there can't get stuff on it under normal circumstances

[smol-ackerman]

Levi VS Kenny's Squad (Manga/Anime)

進撃の巨人 S3 Ep. 2: Pain

[melimion]

this anime is so epic levi and zoro from one piece my favourite characters

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

time to post sexy waterskiing witches

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

might i add black cat bikini lady

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the final member of a stunning trilogy:

Beach Beauties Balance Bewitched Beach Ball

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

wait wait, there’s more! 

Wicker Witch of the West Coast

What do you call three witches waterskiing?

and last but certainly NOT least:

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

ok but we gotta talk more about vintage halloween costumes, we GOTTA

ESPECIALLY the diy ones. back before costumes were mass-manufactured, people were left to their own devices and shit got WILD.

It was an absolute free-for-all. back before you could buy a batman mask in a drug store for $5, people really just did whatever

and it was FABULOUS

bonus points to these early commercialization attempts. yes that is a batman dress

anyway there is a basic human drive to wear weird-ass clothing and we should incorporate this shamelessness into our daily lives. only the most meagre of social laws prevent you from dunking yourself in body glitter and wearing a cape & pointy hat to the grocery story on a regular basis. revise your life accordingly.

[wtf-fun-factss]

If you fell into a tunnel through the center of the Earth, it would take you 42 minutes to complete the trip to the other side of the planet. You would reach a maximum speed of over17,500 MPH at the center of the Earth. – WTF Fun Facts

Source: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/would-you-fall-all-the-wa/

[funniest-stuff]

[hohomylad]

#honestly i dont care if its fake

[underwearandourjackedupthumbs]

It’s not. It happens every day all around the world.

[blackberries-and-arsenic]

[hjartasalt]

Mods are asleep post forbidden tits

[hjartasalt]

Huh

[hjartasalt]

Huh

[hjartasalt]

Huh

[hjartasalt]

Hhhhhhh

[anothermarkiplierfan]

Perfectly balanced as all things should be…

[0v9]

[lexeirikrleif]

[fruitloopghosty]

[biggest-goldiest-fish]

GUYS WE NEED HELP TO FIX IT

[smooththegoofyshark]

The Balance!

[gaudfish-naudsm]

I’m tempted to just reblog and not like it

[wtf-fun-factss]

In 2014, a Cockatoo named Fred celebrated its 100th birthday. He received a birthday card from Queen Elizabeth II as is custom to all those turning 100 years old in Her Majesty’s Realms. – WTF Fun Facts

Source: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-11-02/wildlife-park-throws-a-100th-birthday-party-for-an-old-cockatoo/5860770?nw=0

[wtf-fun-factss]

The Devil’s Pool is a rock pool located right on the edge of Victoria Falls in Zambia on the Zambezi river. When you enter the pool, you get pushed to the edge by the force of the river which itself carries over the falls. – WTF Fun Facts

Source: https://www.zambiatourism.com/destinations/waterfalls/victoria-falls/victoria-falls-devils-pool/

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

what’s the funniest reaction you’ve had to coming out to family/friends?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i’m screaming at theperson in the notes whose friend accidentally called them queen and then corrected to “monarch”

[serasheep]

here’s a compilation of my favorite responses:

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

tag yourself i’m “hide the pans”

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to give me anxiety over zebras. If you succeed, I will donate a randomized amount of money (from $10 to $99) to your patreon. If you fail, you will have to live with the knowledge that you did not make me anxious (and I get some cool new zebra facts that I didn't know before). Do you accept? [Y] [N]

this is what we’re doing now, huh? custom ordered anxiety? you know what fine. fine. let’s talk zebras.

 first of all i don’t know why you wouldn’t be anxious about zebras. a zebra will happily kill you. they will bite off your hand and fucking laugh. they are filled to bursting with aggression & spite. i know they usually get a pass bc ‘haha stripey horse so goofy ’ but. this is a species that regularly survives harsh conditions while being hunted by apex predators so. they’ve got a dark side. 

you know how dogs are domesticated and wolves aren’t? horses are domesticated. zebras are not. i don’t think it’s biologically or ethically possible to domesticate a zebra in any meaningful way. we’ve tried it, it doesn’t fucking work. this is because zebras are angry violent fucks with horrifyingly strong legs. they will happily break a human jawbone with one single graceful kick. they occasionally murder lions in this manner. yes i know it is provoked and self-defensive. yes, i know they don’t actually eat the lions they kill. no, this does not in any way make me more comfortable with the concept of a stupid fucking striped horse that occasionally kills lions. they also sometimes kick each other to death but anyone who knows anything about zebras will finds utterly unsurprising. 

in general, zebras have terrific senses of sight, hearing, smell and taste, which supports my budding theory they can smell fear. also they have night vision. that’s just a fun fact, there’s no reason that should induce anxiety. unless you’re thinking of facing off w/ a zebra at night. which i don’t recommend. bc, you know, angry murder horses.  

also zebras don’t have black stripes. the’re black with white stripes. that’s not creepy, it just pisses me off. two more things: 

1. i won’t be discussing this in detail but i’ve been developing a theory that zebras fill the same evolutionary niche that clowns & mimes fill in the hominid kingdom. tell me that’s not fucking face paint:

for safety reasons i will not expound on this. 

2. there’s a theory zebra stripes use motion dazzle to confuse predators. i get so overwhelmed picturing it. imagine being a predator, crouched on the savanna floor, your prey grazing at the watering hole. all is peaceful, all is calm. you are the most dangerous creature present. so you assume. when all of a sudden our are thrust into a dizzying monochrome swirl of spinning stripes, your heightened senses obscured by a rising cloud of dust and the thundering of angry hooves! you jerk around in panic, but are surrounded! surrounded by the trembling blur!

all this to say, i’m working on a short fic portraying what it might be like to be stampeded by mimes.  

anyway next time you think of zebras, imagine their beady little eyes, their strong, strong jaw muscles. imagine approaching a zebra like a fool.  imagine sticking your hand out to offer it a sugar cube. now imagine how many fingers you would have left, after that experience. there you go, there’s your zebra-induced anxiety. patreon is here. i have to go finish writing about being swarmed by a mime horde. gaudy OUT

[noomnoom03]

This reminds me of a time where i job shadowed at a nature reserve (and they had a lot of zebra’s there) and I was driving with a lady to go check out something that was wrong at one of the dams (all the fish were dying) and as we were driving we got on the topic of zebras and she mentions there’s this one zebra that stands in the middle of the road every morning and that they have to stop and wait for the zebra to leave first before driving on because if you attempted to drive around it, it would charge at the car and attempt to fight it and then i asked what would you do if one attempted to charge at you if you werent in a car and she just looks at me like “You stand still and dodge, *never* run, if you run they will catch you and break your bones” and if that doesnt drive the point home that zebras are scary fuckers i dont know what will

(Heres a picture of him)

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

that image is from a fucking creepypasta

[wtf-fun-factss]

In medieval games of chess, pawns that had been promoted to a queen would be given the title of “advisor,” so as to not imply that the king had more than one queen or was unfaithful. – WTF Fun Facts Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queen_(chess)