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catsnraincoats

Hey girl im consuming a new media

catsnraincoats

help girl I'm hyperfixating

#pinned

nyctosaurid

barnyard the original party animals is the uncontested lord of bad implications in childrens movies

nyctosaurid

ok so like “the secret life of x” movies tend to not strongly explore the actual reasons why, exactly, their life has to be secret… they don’t really focus on it within the narrative. They do usually have some small justification for why animals or video games or toys or whatever have never just revealed themselves:

There’s no stated reason. They just pretend to not be alive. We usually can suspend our suspension of disbelief here because when it’s something like a video game or an emoji because any odd occurrences is perceived as a glitch or something similar but the actual reason why they aren’t too hung up on this kinda shitty lot in life isn’t said

They get something out of their current relationship with humans (like in toy story)

They have some specific reason to hide that they’re alive, like they die if they’re seen (like in the christmas toy)

They perceive themselves as sentient, talking creatures, but humans can’t understand them. They just see a squeaking mouse or an inanimate hot dog or whatever.

and the last one is what most animal movies do, and it’s like, not devoid of weird implications but you can see where it mostly works.

but barnyard is the outlier here: it goes with tier one: the animals can talk and walk on two legs but just pretend that they can’t for unstated reasons.

in the history of the barnyard world non human animals, at some point, decided to just pretend to be unable to speak. a “cow” or a “coyote” or a “hen” do not exist as we know it in the barnyard universe. the baa of the sheep is false; the ewe doesn’t understand it either. they only made up that noise to hide the fact that they speak human languages. a dog barking and running on all fours is a facade. animals naturally walk on their hind legs and made up whole postures just to appear non sentient.

and for what? what do they gain from this? they have no rights and no voice by their own choice. at one point a donkey claims the farmer is a good person because he’s vegan and a pig mentions bacon - this is not a fantasy universe devoid of death and misery and meat. do animals, in hushed whispers, remind their children not to sob in their real voice as they’re taken away? do the dogs not beg for kindness when they’re tied up and hit? do cows and chickens not cry for their life in the slaughterhouses? does a rat not scream a human scream when the trap misses their neck and only breaks their spine? Why? what is the point? They loose so much and have everything to gain.

anyways does everyone remember this really awful cat. it only appears in one scene but i can just sense the porn of it that would pop up if i googled it’s name

inkthecryptid

This post is like being tied to a chair as a a joker-style villain monologues and presses a gun closer and closer to my head as he reaches the climax of his rehearsed piece on the flaws of society and when he finally pulls the trigger it’s a little flag that says “bang!”

cottoncandylesbo

(alien being shown yaoi) and you're saying, the men... have sex with each other? the men?

(alien being shown yuri) ohhh ya we do this shit too lmao

temothylol

irisharchaeology

From a 9th century Irish manuscript, the phrase ‘massive hangover’ (Latheirt) written in the ancient Irish text Ogham. The monk must have been having a very rough day…..

Source

be-bhinn

The exact translation is “ale killed us” which is somehow better

gaymolegaming

I wish irl grinding was as fun as in videogames tbh. Like yeah i need to go to work a thousand times but after that i have enough materials to buy a house. But alas, houses arent real

dark-magician-girl-meets-world

Me: I don't know. I just don't think there's much comedic potential to the idea of a "pizza samurai"

PIzza Samurai, entering physical existence due to the sheer willpower which I still spend thinking about him: I will defeat you with my New York Style martial arts Pepperōnin, also real now: Prepare to get sliced

tiktoksthataregood-ish

nitewrighter

Peer-reviewing tags by @dickwitch

dogpuppy

kiskajaw

maimonidiva

atheist atheist: İ don't believe in god because İ believe in dialectical materialism, which is incompatible with belief in god

religious atheist: İ don't believe in Gd because Hashem commands us to seek truth and dialectical materialism is truth

agnostic atheist: nobody knows why İ don't understand dialectical materialism

quinnactually

why are your i's so long

maimonidiva

because of the material conditions

deirdreskye

Dude frying my tendies at the raising cane's has the black nitrile gloves over the hairy forearms this is not good. Puppy's leaking. The situation in my Target boxer briefs is gonna go from Gushers to Go-Gurt real fast here. I'm so horny I deserve to have copper wire snaked through my teeth

rednines

If the backrooms post can get a movie then so can this

redstonedust

it's usually morally correct to make fun of the usa but whenever i hear british people do it it feels kinda tone deaf. idk if we have the high ground here guys. its like your mom making fun of your mental illness like ma'am where do you think i got it from.

flowerbobatea

miraclemaya

this is problematic of me (joke) but i really enjoy the splashing of french into english speech or writing. just adds a pizzazz

witchofanguish

*adds a certain je ne sais quoi

miraclemaya

see the problem is that despite around 8 years of french schooling the french language has utterly escaped my brain so even the most obvious set up i had created for myself by accident was missed by me. such is life.

spaghettioverdose-deactivated20

*c'est la vie

miraclemaya

god damn it

estrogenesis-eeveeangelion

*sacrebleu

fidelcostco

can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do

mushroom-soup-is-my-religion

muppetshow2026

WHAT IS THE CHARGE? EATING A PENGUIN? A SUCCULENT ADÉLIE PENGUIN?

wuggen

Heard a car horn today that was tuned to a fifth. Fucked up, kinda delightful

wuggen

I want people to understand how jarring this was. Most car horns are either a single tone or two tones somewhere in the neighborhood of a minor third apart:

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