girl help

mel | 21 | she/they header by @milesgmorales

[catsnraincoats]

Hey girl im consuming a new media

[catsnraincoats]

help girl I'm hyperfixating

[nealashitposts]

A year or so ago I went to wood carving club with a bruised eye from my dog slamming his nose into my eyesocket and like every old lady there pulled me aside at some point to ask if my partner hit me here are some of the solutions they had in case he did.

-Replacing his vitimens with poision

- getting her brother to invite him out onto his boat and then killing him and dumping him in the ocean and saying he got drunk and fell off.

- get tboned with him in the passenger seat and then once he was in the hospital theres all kinds of easy ways to kill him like not washing my hands after a poop and then touching his wound casually.

-replacing his drink of choice with moonshine!?

- take him on a hike thats locally notorious for a rapid otter attacking hikers and once he had rabies I could just kill him any ol way and say self defense.

-One lady just cheerfully informed me she had a gun and only a few years left anyway

[janedrewfinally]

Accurate tags:

#and this is why no-fault divorce brings down the murder rate

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Sherlock Holmes having a universal ace experience -- expressing disinterest and immediately getting called an inhuman robot.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#images#sherlock holmes#sorry i don't turn rabid and marry the prettiest girl in sight at the push of a button my dear watson

Watson is like "of course I proposed marriage to a girl I met two days ago, I'm normal and make rational decisions"

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#I read this part just the other day#He literally proposes within two days it’s crazy

Every Sherlock Holmes remake that tries to make Watson the straight man does him a great injustice. Mfer is a total madlad. Everyone's like "oh he's not addicted to hard drugs and doesn't do chemistry experiments in his bedroom for fun" there are subtler ways to be completely unhinged.

[elf-kid2]

The thing is, Watson may or may not instigate the Situations & Shenanigans, but he voluntarily spends most of his Sherlock Holmes, who DOES!

““Normal”“ people do not do that.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Watson will show up at Holmes' place and be like "are you doing any investigations of super weird shit today" and Holmes will be like "yes I am cornering this dangerous mass murderer, you should come and bring your gun in case anyone tries to shoot us" and Watson will do it without question, thinking "I'm so glad he's got something wholesome to distract himself with so he doesn't take more cocaine".

[itswalky]

[geeoharee]

[yandere-angela]

you ever think about how mr beast is real life monokuma

[acerby]

I believe Mr Beast is just itching for the day he can do a real death game. I think he constantly pitches it to his team and they just keep going "not yet, but soon"

[malinaa]

what if we all explode

[derring-do]

This very production of Orpheus & Eurydice is now available to stream, free, for the month of June.

[mockva]

Man notices an Eagle eyeing the fish he just caught

[mexicain-sans-frontiers-v2]

[the-davest-of-uncles]

*gets back to the nest* baby you are NEVER gonna believe how i got this fish

[valleydean]

The show's been off for 6 years and the cw is barely a network anymore. The WB is about to be absorbed. This social media manager is just destiel posting for the love of the game at this point

[liamthesnail]

this is one of, if not the best screenshot i've ever gotten from a game changer episode in my entire fucking life

[linuswatchestv]

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

[squonkcity]

wht my penis produces when i ceank it off to Mysterious Porn

[praguegirl]

they just don’t do any classic homophobic children moments like this anymore 

[coughloop]

There was really no winning that one

[gaycop]

If i was a cop i would be drinking in my cruiser all day. #protectandswerve

[catchymemes]

[teaboot]

"she thinks this is bonding behavior" my friend this has BECOME your bonding behaviour

[wtf-scientific-papers]

Wang and Lai (2014)

[gemstone-gynoid]

[touchstonelevity]

[crazy-brazilian]

lil wayne or wathever

[fulda-gap-express]

who is the Toronto baseball warlock

[dogpuppy]