Current pronouns: Cool/Er Than/Yours (joke, scroll down)
Whatās up
I post many things, view at your own risk!
Iām going to start tagging my writing posts as āMeltWritesā
I show up here to write, vent, talk, make jokes. Basically everything.
Trigger warning for mental health and uh writing tropes that may be considered for mature audiences. But not explicit.
I am anti-generative-ai. Do not claim my posts are written by ai. They are not. I write with a living breathing body. I rise and fall with the whim of my horrible sleep schedule. My mistakes are my own, donāt give a machine credit.
Comment your favorite emoji!
Also feel free to send me writing asks.
Master list here:
Tumblr is a place to express yourself, discover yourself, and bond over the stuff you love. It's where your interests connect you with your
About me!
- I am genderfluid, I go by all/any. (Neos are welcome and encouraged as well!) But most especially They/Them, Xe/Xem, He/Him, She/Her, It/Its, Ey/Em
- My favorite color is purple!
- I love all creatures!! Most especially arthropods!! Isopods are my favorite critter. (Marine and Terrestrial)
- I love love love writing stories, especially whump!!
Feel free to send me writing asks or asks about myself, Iām open to all conversation!!
DNI: Hi! Letās start this off by saying Iām okay if most anybody interacts. Why? Because people need to learn, and how is somebody who is homophobic going to un-learn that if they are shunned out of queer spaces?
Thatās my view on THAT. However, if you are here specifically to do harm, please letās not. Thank you.
You may show up if youāre being a lovely person about it. Hatersā¦ ew. Okay?
If anybody has questions, please let me know!
I donāt feel like sharing every single one of my political and social viewpoints to create a perfect list of who can and canāt interact. I interact with tons of different people every single day.
In real life, people arenāt going to disclose all their viewpoints as soon as they meet. I deal with plenty of people. I experience queerphobia and ableism and see racism blatantly every single day. But if we refuse to interact with these people they will never learn that there is a different way to be.
Thank you, getting off my soapbox.
(However. If people are acting this way. Call them out. Donāt just let them be. Thanks!)
Ok but consider, whumpee being rescued/escaping and realizing the world has moved on without them...
Their partner/spouse has started seeing someone else, believing whumpee to be dead. Bonus if the new partner is less "damaged" than whumpee, making them feel even worse about what happened to them.
Their apartment/house is occupied by new inhabitants, potentially leaving whumpee homeless.
Their place of employment simply replaced them with a new hire, and whumpee has to find a new job with a huge gap in their resume, depending on how long they were tortured for.
Their friends have all moved on, perhaps even finding a new friend to replace whumpee.
Their family has converted their bedroom into a storage room, and maybe even gave some of their things away, believing they weren't coming back.
Their favorite restaurant/coffee shop/bar/etc. has closed down, and whumpee can't even go there for their favorite food/drink after being tortured for so long.
Oh yeah and add all the trauma from being actually whumped :)
- Their partner moved away, became a different person (symbolically with a new outlook on life or demeanor, or physically such as with dyed hair, change in weight, age, etc, to the point who they used to be just isnāt THERE the way they used to be.)
- Their apartment/house was demolished, built over, or renovated. The area was once woods, now it is suburbs. Or the apartment building is now a shopping center. The house was inhabited by the homeless until some freak accident with instability, and it was condemned. Or it caught fire. Someone bought it and put a golf course on the land. It no longer exists.
- The old cafe they used to work at is now a bar. The factory is now a bowling alley. Their club is now a paint studio. Nobody who used to work there is there. Sometimes old patrons are.
- The friend group split apart in a fight. Or grew apart slowly. Drama happened. They were the glue holding everything together, but without someone to make the plans and invite everyone over, or the person who resolves the drama, or the person who is lovable enough to keep them coming back, they donāt. Maybe they have families now, moved away. Maybe someone passed on. Time has changed.
- Their family is larger or smaller. A divorce, a new baby. Their old bedroom is somebody elseās. That one aunt said something to the brother in law and now nobody is speaking. The large family gatherings are now a thing of the past. Dinner is eaten separately, out, or alone.
- I like that last one about the restaurant actually. 10/10, no notes.
Trying to work on my abundance mindset and feeling grateful and all of that and Iāve been doing so much better and I am so happy about that
And it is getting astronomically more difficult (which is an opportunity for growth yayyy) because I have never actually seething hated a haircut before. And suddenly I look like the fourth stooge. I donāt know what to do.
Pros and Cons lets try to make this positive weāre in this together
Pros
- I will now be going to a professional instead of just a generic hair place from now on (out of fear but that means my hair will only get better from here)
- I canāt really do anything to it that makes it look worse (so everything has to look better, right? More room to experiment)
- If I hate it too much I might shave it all off like Iāve been wanting to for a while
Cons (with positives)
- I HAVE to style my hair every day now. There is no waking up and putting on a quick outfit and out the door unless I want to feel The Shame
^ motivation to wake up earlier ???
- I donāt know how to style hair (its been short forever so)
^ opportunity to learn
- Iāve been growing my hair out and styling it may cause breakage so it grows slower
^ā¦ I can learn hairstyles that donāt break it??
Look guys Iām trying. Any suggestions on how to fix a horrible haircut with zero money?
(For reference imagine a curtain bang that extends behind your ears, and the back is long. Yeah. I told the stylist not to touch the sides. They did notā¦ take that request.)
āFor what,ā whumper seems almost amused, āfor this? This little thing youāve done? Oh, doll. Donāt worry so much.ā They narrow their eyes a little at whumpee.
Whumpee pauses. āY-youāre not upset?ā
āUpset? No. Why would I be upset?ā Whumperās voice drops lower. They lean in, one hand brushing the chain around whumpeeās neck. āI just love seeing you in red.ā
Whumpeeās eyes widen and they shudder. Whumper lingers for a moment, expression intense. They breathe sharply and suddenly their eyes refocus. They stiffen, licking their bottom lip once. As if regaining control. And then they step back, turning away.
For a moment, silence. Whumpeeās mind was a haze of confusion, relief of seeing anything other than the empty vast nothingness of a fully dark room, and fear of their captor.
āI got you something.ā
Whumpeeās head snaps up when they hear it.
āWhat?ā
Whumper turns back around. āClothes.ā Their eyes flick down again to the blood trickling down from where the chains dug too deep during whumpeeās thrashings. āYouāll want to get cleaned up first.ā
Whumpeeās lip trembled. āI-I thought you said you liked it whenāā
Whumper spoke fast, cutting them off and stepping close again. āI know what I said.ā
They lean back into whumpeeās personal space. āDo you want cleaned up, or not?ā
āY-yesāā
Whumper grabs their jaw. āThen I suggest you take the opportunity.ā
They let go. Whumpeeās head drops. Whumper moves behind them and starts unlocking their restraints. Soon, whumpee was falling to the floor, right into the puddle on the ground. Red stained their knees, bare legs, feet, and hands.
Whumperās eyes snap to them and stay there for a long moment. They seem lost in a faraway gazeā taking it in. āPerfection.ā They mutter, so quiet whumpee barely hears.
Whumpeeās heart races. They were never more terrified than of the look in whumperās eyes at this moment.
They darenāt move. They couldnāt if they wanted to.
Whumper turns finally, and grabs whumpee by the collar of their rag.
āUp.ā
Whumpee gets up immediately, dragged to their feet. They keep pace under threat of being dragged down the hall. Their muscles ache. Their stomach hurts. Their head spins. They were getting dizzy.
The all too bright lights in the hallway did not help. They were brought down a hallway with perfect hardwood flooring being spattered with their own blood. A trail, like breadcrumbs.
Their heart muses how they wish they could follow that trail, that red line back through time. Back to before this all happened. Before they had been chained. Before being captured. Before whumper was even a face to a name. How they wishā
āSMACK.
āI said, look at me!ā Whumperās hand was still raised. Whumpee snaps to attention.
āWh-what?ā
āAh, so youāve decided to join us.ā Whumper spits. āListen to me when Iām talking to you.ā
Whumpee nods quickly. āY-yes.ā
āYes?ā
āS-sir. Yes, sir.ā
Whumper grunts, then turns away. They were in a bathroom now. Whumpee must have checked out at some point between here and there. That felt unusual of them to do. They rarely ever lost time like that. Even their more intense daydreamings never left them so detached from reality that all of this could go unnoticed. Only if they were extremely sleep deprived did they everā
āSMACK.
āWhat did I just say?ā
Whumpee jolts, recoils. āI-Iām sorry! Sir, I, I didnāt mean to. Please. I wonāt let it happen again.ā
Whumper was more displeased now. āStay focused.ā
āYes sir.ā
āGood.ā
The next few minutes was spent with the water slowly filling the ornate porcelain tub. The marble floor beneath it was impressive. All of thisā¦ whumpee had never been somewhere so beautiful. It would have been a nice place, if not for the circumstances.
āIn you are, dove.ā Whumper says, turning to whumpee.
āIā¦ in?ā Whumpee swallows, looking at the tub. āB-butā¦ Iā¦ā
āIn.ā Whumper repeats themself, and scowls. āTake the ridiculous smock off and get in the tub.ā
Whumpee only obeyed because of the sternness in their tone.
The pillow case came off. Whumpee slipped into the tub, nervous the entire time. It was surprisingly warm. But they werenāt used to being naked in front of someone they didnāt feel safe around. And that made them tense. Of course they were tense. This was their captor.
Whumper surveys like a manager over a building site. Only ensuring things were to satisfaction. Never in personal pleasure. Once the blood was rinsed off, they gesture to the soaps. āDo what you will. You have five minutes.ā
Whumper promptly stepped to the side, and pulled a smoke from their pocket, popping it into their mouth and lighting it.
No longer were they so focused. Their shoulders relaxed minutely after the first drag.
Whumpee laid back in the tub for a moment and closed their eyes, feeling the pink water lap their wounds. It stung like nothing theyād ever felt. And in the bathroom, so bright white marble and white tile and cool toned lighting, their blood on the floor stuck out like a sore thumb. Pressed up like buttons. It looked like it had been dripped onto the floor the way a wax seal closes an envelope.
With a sense of finality.
Authorās note:
Hey! So sorry this hasnāt been updated in forever!
Iāve been super busy! Between school getting out, working more, all that. Oh, and my sibling got stabbed. But other than that Iām personally fine so weāre back to writing! Sorry if this is a little sub-par, Iām feeling a little off, but writing helps. Really does. Thanks guys!
If you liked this, check out parts 1, and 2. I also have other writing including a masterlist in my pinned post on my page! Thank you!
Tag list:
You didnāt ask to be added but you liked the last one and its been forever so I wasnāt sure if youād see it! @watsonbee (I know you liked the religious themes last time and there isnāt so many in this one but trust me in the next one, this is just build up. Filler. You get it.)
I loved how fast Whumpee went from seeing themselves as all powerful to cowering the second whumper entered the room!
Wherever whumper seems to loose themselves, the āI just love seeing you in red.ā, is SO creepy!! On top of that they talk with such familiarity and it makes it so much worse, as if whumpee was never anything more than this!!! It really makes me wonder what exactly whumper sees āthisā as.
I love how whumpeeās spiraling is completely foreign to them until itās actively happening, leaving them to play catch up to their own mind!! Whumper canāt lock them in solitary confinement and get mad at the repercussions!
AND HOW YOU DESCRIBED THE TRAIL OF BLOOD WITH THE FINALITY OF A STAMP, WANTING BOTH ESCAPE AND WARMTH BUT ALSO SYMBOLIC TO THEIR SITUATION; their time with whumper a path of blood and pain!!! Like a string of fate!!!!
Thank you for tagging me! Could I be tagged for any future parts as well?
Iād like to think that high school shows are unrealistic, but then I remember my principal once got backflipped over by a guy on a bike during an assembly, intentionally.
āFor what,ā whumper seems almost amused, āfor this? This little thing youāve done? Oh, doll. Donāt worry so much.ā They narrow their eyes a little at whumpee.
Whumpee pauses. āY-youāre not upset?ā
āUpset? No. Why would I be upset?ā Whumperās voice drops lower. They lean in, one hand brushing the chain around whumpeeās neck. āI just love seeing you in red.ā
Whumpeeās eyes widen and they shudder. Whumper lingers for a moment, expression intense. They breathe sharply and suddenly their eyes refocus. They stiffen, licking their bottom lip once. As if regaining control. And then they step back, turning away.
For a moment, silence. Whumpeeās mind was a haze of confusion, relief of seeing anything other than the empty vast nothingness of a fully dark room, and fear of their captor.
āI got you something.ā
Whumpeeās head snaps up when they hear it.
āWhat?ā
Whumper turns back around. āClothes.ā Their eyes flick down again to the blood trickling down from where the chains dug too deep during whumpeeās thrashings. āYouāll want to get cleaned up first.ā
Whumpeeās lip trembled. āI-I thought you said you liked it whenāā
Whumper spoke fast, cutting them off and stepping close again. āI know what I said.ā
They lean back into whumpeeās personal space. āDo you want cleaned up, or not?ā
āY-yesāā
Whumper grabs their jaw. āThen I suggest you take the opportunity.ā
They let go. Whumpeeās head drops. Whumper moves behind them and starts unlocking their restraints. Soon, whumpee was falling to the floor, right into the puddle on the ground. Red stained their knees, bare legs, feet, and hands.
Whumperās eyes snap to them and stay there for a long moment. They seem lost in a faraway gazeā taking it in. āPerfection.ā They mutter, so quiet whumpee barely hears.
Whumpeeās heart races. They were never more terrified than of the look in whumperās eyes at this moment.
They darenāt move. They couldnāt if they wanted to.
Whumper turns finally, and grabs whumpee by the collar of their rag.
āUp.ā
Whumpee gets up immediately, dragged to their feet. They keep pace under threat of being dragged down the hall. Their muscles ache. Their stomach hurts. Their head spins. They were getting dizzy.
The all too bright lights in the hallway did not help. They were brought down a hallway with perfect hardwood flooring being spattered with their own blood. A trail, like breadcrumbs.
Their heart muses how they wish they could follow that trail, that red line back through time. Back to before this all happened. Before they had been chained. Before being captured. Before whumper was even a face to a name. How they wishā
āSMACK.
āI said, look at me!ā Whumperās hand was still raised. Whumpee snaps to attention.
āWh-what?ā
āAh, so youāve decided to join us.ā Whumper spits. āListen to me when Iām talking to you.ā
Whumpee nods quickly. āY-yes.ā
āYes?ā
āS-sir. Yes, sir.ā
Whumper grunts, then turns away. They were in a bathroom now. Whumpee must have checked out at some point between here and there. That felt unusual of them to do. They rarely ever lost time like that. Even their more intense daydreamings never left them so detached from reality that all of this could go unnoticed. Only if they were extremely sleep deprived did they everā
āSMACK.
āWhat did I just say?ā
Whumpee jolts, recoils. āI-Iām sorry! Sir, I, I didnāt mean to. Please. I wonāt let it happen again.ā
Whumper was more displeased now. āStay focused.ā
āYes sir.ā
āGood.ā
The next few minutes was spent with the water slowly filling the ornate porcelain tub. The marble floor beneath it was impressive. All of thisā¦ whumpee had never been somewhere so beautiful. It would have been a nice place, if not for the circumstances.
āIn you are, dove.ā Whumper says, turning to whumpee.
āIā¦ in?ā Whumpee swallows, looking at the tub. āB-butā¦ Iā¦ā
āIn.ā Whumper repeats themself, and scowls. āTake the ridiculous smock off and get in the tub.ā
Whumpee only obeyed because of the sternness in their tone.
The pillow case came off. Whumpee slipped into the tub, nervous the entire time. It was surprisingly warm. But they werenāt used to being naked in front of someone they didnāt feel safe around. And that made them tense. Of course they were tense. This was their captor.
Whumper surveys like a manager over a building site. Only ensuring things were to satisfaction. Never in personal pleasure. Once the blood was rinsed off, they gesture to the soaps. āDo what you will. You have five minutes.ā
Whumper promptly stepped to the side, and pulled a smoke from their pocket, popping it into their mouth and lighting it.
No longer were they so focused. Their shoulders relaxed minutely after the first drag.
Whumpee laid back in the tub for a moment and closed their eyes, feeling the pink water lap their wounds. It stung like nothing theyād ever felt. And in the bathroom, so bright white marble and white tile and cool toned lighting, their blood on the floor stuck out like a sore thumb. Pressed up like buttons. It looked like it had been dripped onto the floor the way a wax seal closes an envelope.
With a sense of finality.
Authorās note:
Hey! So sorry this hasnāt been updated in forever!
Iāve been super busy! Between school getting out, working more, all that. Oh, and my sibling got stabbed. But other than that Iām personally fine so weāre back to writing! Sorry if this is a little sub-par, Iām feeling a little off, but writing helps. Really does. Thanks guys!
If you liked this, check out parts 1, and 2. I also have other writing including a masterlist in my pinned post on my page! Thank you!
Tag list:
You didnāt ask to be added but you liked the last one and its been forever so I wasnāt sure if youād see it! @watsonbee (I know you liked the religious themes last time and there isnāt so many in this one but trust me in the next one, this is just build up. Filler. You get it.)
Hey guys sorry for not writing more! Iāve been a bit busy lately. Iāll be back to our regularly scheduled writing program soon!!
Iāve just been so busy lately! Between work and hanging with friends/family for the summer, its just been a lot! On top of that Iāve been off my meds (yay!!) and exercising a lot more (yay!!). But my sibling DID get stabbed, soā¦ that sucks. Oh! And I finally stood up to my biological parent!
Anyway Iām hoping to get a car soon so Iāll be picking up more hours at work. But I think things will sort themselves out so Iāll start writing again soon. Thank you everyone for your support and love for my writing! Donāt forget to check out my masterlist in my pinned post. Iāll be organizing everything soon and deleting most of the posts that I didnāt write myself on here to make it easier for you guys!!
showering is such an experience when u have psychosis...
like, the water and everything and it overwhelming with sensations, and then you can still hear house sounds over the sound of the water, but muted so who knows if someone's breaking into your house or not, and if they are your naked in the shower so how do you fight them offf? the actual washing and then drying yourself is an effort that your limbs do NOT want to cooperate with, too much energy needed for that and you confuse shampoo and conditioner and then there's ants in the conditioner and then the sound of the water running sounds like whispering in your ears and there's too much sensations and you have no idea what's real and not....
and then people call you gross for not showering everyday???
Scrolling through my blog and seeing this. Gosh Iāve come a long way. Iām in such a better spot now. I can take 40 minute showers again. There is no bad behind me. There is no lurking presence. And when there is I am able to talk myself out of it. There is no paranoia. And if doubt creeps in, I just let it out again. And Iām okay. And I can sleep more. And I can stare at a blank wall and not have issues. And I can be almost certain now that that strange noise I heard was real. And when I ask if other people heard it they say yes. And when I donāt know whatās wrong with me it usually means Iām hungry, or tired, or thirsty, and not that I didnāt take my medication. And I donāt rely on it anymore. Iām okay. Iām so much better now. I am so much happier. It gets better. Life gets better. I love you all.
So silly of me I was sitting here trying to find a fic I read once that I loved so muchā¦ so I was scrolling through my blog to see if I reblogged it, and I found it!
Only I hadnāt reblogged it, I had wrote it.
Oh, you guys, this is cool!! I love that I didnāt know that I wrote it and I was thinking about it being a good story. And it was mine. That makes me happy!!
But it means that I wonāt be getting that part 2 I was hoping for unless I write it. Dang it!!
Switching to childrenās toothpaste is the best thing Iāve ever done for my dental health.
Iām not kidding! I hate mint, it makes my head hurt, it burns in my mouth, itās horrible to put up with. I donāt understand why other people like it! (Although the flavor can be good in some teas when it is mild)
But mint toothpaste was probably the worst idea, exposed gums with that burning sensation directly on it? Of course I was never able to be entirely thorough. Iād brush, sure, but more often than not Iād use as little toothpaste for as little time as possible and end up rinsing it out and brushing with water, mouth still burning. Donāt even get me started on trying to rinse with mint mouthwash! Iād always get the unflavored dental floss (that wasnāt as hard to come by for adults.)
But I just couldnāt stand it any longer. I was looking for a toothpaste and was getting so upset over looking for something not-minty-flavored in the adult section when I saw the kidās section flavorsā bubble gum! And berry!
And on impulse I bought the tube of kidās toothpaste at 3/4 the size and less than half the price. I also got a kidās mouthwash.
Let me tell you, i didnāt even recall ever being able to sit still and actually brush with toothpaste for so long. I didnāt feel irritated, or in pain, or even mildly annoyed at having to do it.
Of course, when I was a kid it was just hard to sit still in general. Now I have the, well, almost patience of an adult. But I was actually able to brush for 5-7 minutes (longer than 3, I know!) because I was just so surprised! I made sure everything was thorough, instead of rushing to finish brushing and rinse out the pain and stinging.
It tasted good, and it didnāt hurt. So I managed to do a better job and not kick myself for failing. I used the kidās mouthwash, which did still sting a bit (I guess itās a mouthwash thing), but again, no mint! I used my normal floss like always. And I walked away with a mouth that felt cleaner without any stinging or lingering pain.
So, just saying. Mint sucks, reject modern mint dental culture (if you donāt like mint, like me) embrace tradition! (Tradition meaning since weāve used kids toothpaste since you were a kid).
Join me!! We will revolutionize adult dental flavorings!! No longer will we have mint!! Itās up to us!
hiii I hope it's okay i rbed your writing! I liked it a lottttt XD if you feel uncomfortable with that let me know and I'll remove it :D
-- @tracingthetapestry
Oh youāre good hun!! I love when people Reblog my stuff!! Always reblogs > likes!! Plus youāre one of my fav blogs on here. Of course I wouldnāt mind!!!
the door slammed shut behind caretaker. whumpee couldn't supress their involuntary flinch, only the lump in their throat prevented them from calling out to stop caretaker fromā leaving them.
whumpee has done it again. time and time, history only repeats itself, and whumpee only hurts those around them, they cause them to go, to leave forever and never come back. they drive them away, they hurt them more than any physical threat could.
whumpee wants to cry, but they can't stay here and continue being a thorn in caretaker's side. they don't deserve to feel upset over something that was their own fault. they have to get out before they ruin caretaker inevitably. it will happen. it will happen, and this is the only way to save caretaker from them, whumpee thought, as they packed their measly belongings in a duffle bag.
caretaker did not deserve to be repaid in pain for their kindness. and after what whumpee said, they definitely wouldn't want them here. whumpee was nothing more than a freeloader, only inconveniencing everyone around them just like they always did.
whumper always saw through their actsā attempts at manipulationā dealt with them accordingly. but now, nowā whumper wasn't here to correct them. punish them for it.
whumpee looked longingly at the room, of which the bed was theirs, the closet was full of their own clothes, the bookshelf was full of books they chose. this place was full of love, it felt like home, and in weaker moments, they had wished that it would stay so, forever. ofcourse, though, all good things are brought to an end.
so with a last glance spared, they gently clicked the front door close behind them, leaving once and forever.
Now Iām just hoping that Whumpee Mayhaps moves on to something they can feel in control of?
Theyāre clearly about to isolate or return to whumper. But if theyāre entering this world alone, and itās anything realistic, they need to have money.
Depending on how much money is where they can pay rent. Attempting to get a job perhapsā¦?
I want to see them get a little itty bitty apartment where they hole themselves upā¦ and one day they see a book on the shelf at a store theyād had while with caretaker. And they have enough money because they have a very basic job where they donāt have to speak to anybody. And they buy the book.
And they take it home and put it on their table because they donāt have a shelf.
And a week later they find another book theyād had. And they finished the last one, so they think, why not? They buy it and go home. They read it. It too goes on the table.
A month later they find another book. And then two months later they find another book. And then a week after that they return to the store with a purpose of actually seeking it out. They find a few books by some of the same authors and one theyād already read.
By now they have 8 books on their table and they thinkā¦ this looks disorganized. And for a moment they chide themselves, āif only whumper saw this messā¦ā and they stare off for a moment.
And then the tv switches to a commercial, the room lighting up at the white background of some product. And whumpee blinks away the memory and realizes itās gotten easier to do so. They look around at their tiny apartment. The tiny tv, the little beaten couch theyād found on the side of the road. They look at their little round table stacked with books.
Their shoulders go down. Their fingers unclench. They breathe a little.
The next day they bring home a bookshelf. It wasnāt fancy. The books didnāt fill it all the way. They had room for more.
So over the year they slowly filled it. And eventually they bought a new shelf. And then filled that with books. They actually liked reading.
It was calm. It was quiet. They couldnāt hurt anybody if they were reading.
A few of their favorites were displayed prominently. The spines were cracked and the pages a little worn. It showed the care theyād hadā they werenāt falling apart despite how many times it had been read. And it showed the love whumpee had for those stories.
And itās been almost two years now, since they left caretakerās. Of course, they glance at the calendar that evening to mark the day and realize it was a week from the anniversary of leaving.
And they blink for a second, pause.
They missed caretaker.
And look at everything in their home. Their books were cared for. The coffee pot on their counter hadnāt been broken. They used to break things all the time.
Their hair was longer, brushed, styled. They used to let it knot and tangle until there was no use but to shave it off.
The apartment was clean. It was usable. And maybeā¦ they werenāt such a horrible person if they could take care of this little world theyād made to survive.
So the next day they go to the store, and buy a letter.
They write a simple note. That they missed them. That they were sorry for not saying anything when they left. And they told caretaker about the books. It didnāt mean they were going to return home. But they were alive and well, and they hadā¦ healed a little. And it was okay to say hi now. They werenāt sure why they didnāt before.
They sign it, date it, and leave their own address on the letter.
It sits on their tabletop for three days. Three days, staring at it on their way out and shaking their head. Could they do it?
And then they drop it in the mailbox on the way to work one morning, and put it out of their mind.
