Some Clever Title

Former Air Force Colonel. Sometime Avenger. All-the-time awesome.

[thor-the-asgardian-meme]

To the person I follow who posted a picture of the toast of france... i blame you for the state of the Tower's kitchen right now.

See also: my sincerest apologies to @scarletmemewitch. I promise I will clean it up.

[scarletmemewitch]

.........................................HOW?!?!?!

[thor-the-asgardian-meme]

... i'm sorry...

I'll just go get a dustpan and brush and start clearing up all this flour...

[scarletmemewitch]

i didn’t think we even had that much flour!

[thor-the-asgardian-meme]

yes, well... some of it may be sugar... and baking soda and baking powder...

[scarletmemewitch]

so all the white powder i had in the kitchen?

[thor-the-asgardian-meme]

well... yes. i will replace it all though!

[scarletmemewitch]

...that so isn’t the point

[thor-the-asgardian-meme]

... it's all cleaned up now, though!

time to work on the batter that got on the ceiling

[scarletmemewitch]

the mixer doesn’t have that much power!

[thor-the-asgardian-meme]

um... i honestly do not know what to say other than that the mixer has that much power now and i do not know how it got it.

[scarletmemewitch]

did you use lightning or was there a sleep-deprived scientist about?

[memecaptainmarvel]

...There was a sleep deprived me...

[scarletmemewitch]

did you electrify my mixer?

[memecaptainmarvel]

I was asleep, I tripped on SOMEBODY’S water bottle, my hand went flying, I zapped the mixer. 

[thor-the-asgardian-meme]

To the person I follow who posted a picture of the toast of france... i blame you for the state of the Tower's kitchen right now.

See also: my sincerest apologies to @scarletmemewitch. I promise I will clean it up.

[scarletmemewitch]

.........................................HOW?!?!?!

[thor-the-asgardian-meme]

... i'm sorry...

I'll just go get a dustpan and brush and start clearing up all this flour...

[scarletmemewitch]

i didn’t think we even had that much flour!

[thor-the-asgardian-meme]

yes, well... some of it may be sugar... and baking soda and baking powder...

[scarletmemewitch]

so all the white powder i had in the kitchen?

[thor-the-asgardian-meme]

well... yes. i will replace it all though!

[scarletmemewitch]

...that so isn’t the point

[thor-the-asgardian-meme]

... it's all cleaned up now, though!

time to work on the batter that got on the ceiling

[scarletmemewitch]

the mixer doesn’t have that much power!

[thor-the-asgardian-meme]

um... i honestly do not know what to say other than that the mixer has that much power now and i do not know how it got it.

[scarletmemewitch]

did you use lightning or was there a sleep-deprived scientist about?

[memecaptainmarvel]

...There was a sleep deprived me...

[memewarmachinerox]

An important event has come to my attention. @memecaptainsteverogers @pepper-to-the-rescmeme @scarletmemewitch

[pepper-to-the-rescmeme]

I will … Try anything once. Lets do this.

[meme-mystique]

Going back to 50s cuisine again?

[memecaptainmarvel]

I THOUGHT WE’D ADDRESSED THIS PEOPLE

[danhumphrey]

scott lang, completely misunderstanding peter parker’s power: hey if u want man we could get tiny and just like hang out, i don’t know if you’ve ever been in a lego castle but it’s pretty sweet

peter parker: u have no idea how much physical pain having to turn this offer down is causing me but,

[northstarthembo]

Scott Lang, upon realizing Peter Parker can’t shrink: oh okay no biggee, we’ll just make the LEGO castle big

[magical-awesome-kid]

Peter, ready to cry from joy: do you like Star Wars? Because I have a replica… and my friend Ned and I got it to fly…

Scott Lang, a mechanical engineer and nerd: kid you are my people

[letitrainathousandflames-archive]

Tony, calling peter: …and may I know WHY THE HELL IS SHIELD CALLING ME ABOUT A LIFE-SIZED DEATH STAR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT?!

Peter: we didn’t want it to crush any buildings so we brought it out here!

Tony: THATS N O T MY POINT!!!

[gingersnapwolves]

#and then Tony wonders when the hell HE became the responsible one#and promptly abandons his responsibilities#and jumps in his armor#to go zoom around the life size death star#pretending he’s Luke doing the trench run (via)

[153-centimeters-of-sass]

It got better!

[aqueerkettleofish]

I was gonna SAY, Tony would fly out there, look at the thing, and go…. No, this isn’t life size. Impressive though. Okay, bugs, put on these helmets, we’re taking this into orbit and doing this at 1:1 scale.

[joasakura]

Sam: Barnes is gonna make an awesome Chewbacca.

Bucky: -.-

[iconuk01]

Guardians arriving back in Earth orbit for a visit: Rocket : When the **** did Earth get another moon? Peter Qull (with an indescribable look on his face, but knowing his entire life has built to this moment): That’s no moon!

[literateterrarian]

(so this face?)

[courtofnothing]

Yes

[i-meme-groot]

I am Groot!

[memecaptainmarvel]

Y’all had better build me an X-wing. (Or an A-wing. I like speed!)

[the-spider-meme-man]

Welcome to New York

Most popular mode of transportation? Subway. Most crowded mode of transportation? Walking. Most terrifying? Air Spider-Man.

Most fun?

Also Air Spider-Man

[beth-the-meme-weaver]

How about portals? Speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out

[the-spider-meme-man]

...are you suggesting I yeet myself through portals as to travel?

That sounds like fun... but not something I am able to do

[scarletmemewitch]

i mean, you CAN yeet through portals and you’ll move faster, but you’ll take a lot more detours than you probably wanted

now, if you really need to go somewhere fast, i’m sure @tonystankposts​ could put rockets in your spider-suit...

[blackmemecat]

If Air Spider-Man is too terrifying, I suggest parkour. Beloved by top heroes and newbies alike

[memecaptainmarvel]

I just fly. Although dinosaur does work in a pinch.

[memewarmachinerox]

Sports headlines are much more entertaining if you assume the team names are literal.

Cowboys fighting eagles. Warriors against rockets. Titans waging war with Panthers. Where do I sign up?

[scarletmemewitch]

ok but the teen titans fighting the black panther sounds like too one-sided a battle

[memewarmachinerox]

It would be worth it to watch T’Challa’s eye twitch at the puns.

[memecaptainmarvel]

What makes you think they’d fight?

[memecaptainmarvel]

who has the singular brain cell today????

Maria, obviously.

[memecaptainmarvel]

Hi Captain Danvers! How have you been?

I’ve been great recently, thanks! 

[the-real-kamala-meme-khan]

maria, looking at monica: one taught me love

maria, looking at me: one taught me patience

maria, looking at Carol playing catch with a grenade launcher: and one taught me that some grown ass women are fucking sTUPID CAROL LOVE PUT THAT DOWN RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME GOD-

[memecaptainmarvel]

NOPE!

[riley-lehmeme]

Weirdly satisfying thing: freaking out your friend boyfriend by casually petting a terrifying eldritch being on the head and calling it a "cute little fella."

[dean-memechester]

An eldritch being from outer space that has it’s own pocket dimension that could eat you in one piece......yeah it’s a little bit terrifying.

[riley-lehmeme]

But he's so cute!

[memeria-hill]

Fury once said to never pet a cat from the front

I assume he was referencing the existence of flerkens at that time.

[memecaptainmarvel]

Aw, but Goose is such a good girl.

[memeria-hill]

Fury is not fond of cats any more.

Goose is a flerken?!

[memecaptainmarvel]

SHE’S A GOOD GIRL.

[riley-lehmeme]

Weirdly satisfying thing: freaking out your friend boyfriend by casually petting a terrifying eldritch being on the head and calling it a "cute little fella."

[dean-memechester]

An eldritch being from outer space that has it’s own pocket dimension that could eat you in one piece......yeah it’s a little bit terrifying.

[riley-lehmeme]

But he's so cute!

[memeria-hill]

Fury once said to never pet a cat from the front

I assume he was referencing the existence of flerkens at that time.

[memecaptainmarvel]

Aw, but Goose is such a good girl.

[memecaptainmarvel]

carol: and what do we say when our actions upset someone?

me: hoes mad

carol: no

Depending on the context, we say "I'm sorry" or "I regret nothing."

Or both.

[theavengers]

Deleted scene from Avengers: Endgame (2019)

[hedgehog-goulash7]

And here we have Rhodey, the full bird colonel, asking the erstwhile captain some very legitimate questions about that mission…

[memeria-hill]

Seriously, though, @memecaptainsteverogers, why?

[memecaptainsteverogers]

IT WAS A VERY COMPLICATED SITUATION AND I JUST WATCHED MY MORTAL ENEMY DISSOLVE. I had to think on my feet! 

[memecaptainmarvel]

Man, it’s very clear you weren’t part of the Army Air Corps.

[memecaptainmarvel]

Who wants to hear ridiculous stories about my colleagues?

If so, ask away!

[memecaptainmarvel]

drinking of male tears intensifies

[anais-ninja-bitch]

hey hey time for ridiculous headcanon theater

tell me fun headcanons about steve rogers’ YouTube cooking program that features other superheroes.

[cipheramnesia]

Doom is on one episode and Richards is on the next and Doom is shit talking how “The fool Richards knows not the adequate use of garlic, behold Doom’ mighty garlic press” and it’s like a giant fuckoff thing crushing 4 bulbs in one shot and Doom ends up invited back regularly but not Richards because Richards really does suck tbh.

[anais-ninja-bitch]

richards legit thinks a single clove of garlic is enough.

[cipheramnesia]

Richards legit thinks black pepper is spicy.

[anais-ninja-bitch]

absjfkdlgnshensbabdj

[fmlcomic]

When Johnny Storm is on he spends most of the time eating ghost peppers and saying “yeah, my sister married the blandest dude in the history of ever.”

[anais-ninja-bitch]

johnny teaches cap how to cook an omelette in someone else’s kitchen. cap tries not to be impressed

[anais-ninja-bitch]

johnny: and if all else fails, and your hook up doesn’t even have eggs, you can always order bagels and lox from schumacher’s through uber eats.

steve: whoa, whoa, whoa. why would you do that when ratzenberg’s delivers too?

*half an hour of arguing about bagels*

[thephilosophersapprentice]

DONT FORGET THE JELLO ASPIC EPISODE.

[anais-ninja-bitch]

this reply gave me heartburn and nausea

[thephilosophersapprentice]

I would say I’m sorry, except I’m not. (please visit @memecaptainsteverogers for more absolute chaos and anarchy)

[duckapus]

Hulk shows up and he’s really, really good, especially with egg-based dishes. And unless he’s baking there’s no mess, nothing broken. His only explanation is “when you’re this strong, everything is an egg.”

[ebonyheartnet]

Meanwhile, the next episode with Bruce, “it’s just chemistry you eat, right?” Banner is an unmitigated disaster.

How do you even get that much fire from a cupcake?!

[memecaptainmarvel]

Hey I set a lemon meringue tart on fire once.

THIRTY SECONDS IN THE OVEN.

THE SMOKE ALARM WENT OFF AFTER THIRTY FUCKING SECONDS.

[captain-goose-meme]

Headbutts @privatejellothememekitty

Meows in hello

[privatejellothememekitty]

Side-eye but allows it

Decides he has potential to be an excellent troublemaking friend

[memecaptainmarvel]

GOOSE! 

Who’s my favorite flerken? Who’s my favorite flerken!

[captain-goose-meme]

Gentle headbutt

[memecaptainmarvel]

enthusiastic scritches