I am Groot.

I am Groot.

[mandmorder]

When eating M&Ms, Green should be eaten:

first

second

third

fourth

fifth

last

Voting ended onJun 17, 2025

[mandmorder]

When eating M&Ms, Brown should be eaten:

first

second

third

fourth

fifth

last

Voting ended onJun 16, 2025

[mandmorder]

I'm doing it! I'm starting a tournament to determine the correct order in which to eat M&Ms.

Based on your preliminary research, the ultimate answer will upset everyone. Let's find out together.

How this will work:

The colors in a standard bag of M&Ms are (in alphabetical order) are:

Blue

Brown

Green

Orange

Red

Yellow

Starting Sunday 6/8/25, each day I will ask The People about the preferred position of a different color; the polls will last one week. Starting 6/15/25, I'm going to do the same in reverse, each day asking The People the preferred color for each position. I will compile the results and update with the schedule of the inevitable runoff.

Asks are open. Propaganda is welcome. Don't be an asshole; it's all in good fun.

[dignitywhatdignity]

In what order do you eat M&Ms?

For me, it's brown, orange, yellow, red, green, blue. My mom insists it's brown, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, which makes logical sense but the vibes feel wrong to me. 4.75yo heard this and ate the blue first and the brown last out of rebellion. 8.75yo likes red, orange, brown, yellow, green, blue, but doesn't always bother. My dad never sorts them. Neither does husband.

Now I'm wondering what the "preferred" order is.

Ugh, do I need to do a gimmick account and start a tournament?

[dignitywhatdignity]

Yes, apparently I do.

[were--ralph]

Tumblr is unique bc like. It's collaborative shitposting and you can't opt in or out. You can just say something about your day then an evil wizard shows up to turn your post into something humorous

Every other site is just one and done, but here a post is a welcome mat to be funnier than you

[evilwizard]

yeah or sometimes you’ll see a post that hacks into your brain and forever rewrites your instinctual reaction to seeing a pineapple explode

[were--ralph]

[alphabetcompletionist]

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

26/26

[were--ralph]

[live-and-learn]

@i-say-ok You are the only way to improve this

[i-say-ok]

ok.

[thattransotter]

I love you i-say-ok

[i-say-ok]

ok. :] ♥️♥️♥️

[free-post-store]

$0

[is-silksongg-released-yet]

Silksong is not released yet

[were--ralph]

what the fuck happened to this post

shoo shoo get out of here

[were--ralph]

Looking through the notes and. Why is literally (literally) every gimmick blog drawn to this post in particular

What is going on

[porcelain-face-art]

[were--ralph]

[woo-in-different-lengths]

woooooooooooooooooooooooo

[amen-break-detector]

Amen Break not detected

[bear-detector]

[balloon-hater]

was there any balloons detected

[bear-detector]

that’s not my area of expertise, sorry

[baba-is-blog]

POST IS OVERRUN

[elvis-official]

Woah mama sometimes Elvis is there

[i-meme-groot]

I am Groot?

[akindplace]

toastedbyeli

[i-meme-groot]

I am Groot?

[i-meme-groot]

It's my 7 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[scientia-rex]

So many people on this site have somehow developed Extreme Old New England Money Vibes. Like they’re DISAPPROVING. But they’ll put it in the tags. And they won’t just SAY “that made me sad.” They’ll frame it in 15,000 elliptical sentences I can’t possibly parse while high. And then they’ll inevitably be AFFRONTED if I block them. Guys! This here blog is MY party! I get to uninvite you!

[grison-in-space]

Look any given Tumblr post is basically a moment hanging out on OP's front stoop to shoot the shit. It is wise to quickly shoo off the people who can't be polite when they visit someone else's stoop, because you can do that when there's just one or two--but if enough of them descend at once, you just wind up with vomit and trash everywhere all over your nice porch and if you're real unlucky a raccoon shows up.

[scientia-rex]

I just keep thinking about how correct this is. I love raccoons, but they belong in the woods and not fighting me over a discarded bag of Cheetos on my porch.

[i-meme-groot]

I am Groot?

[homoqueerjewhobbit]

The gun is cocked. I'm sobbing and shaking.

"Say it."

"I can't!"

They push the gun into my temple. "Say it now."

"ACAB includes Sam Vimes, OK, are you happy now?"

[hurlyburlywitch]

You're lying to yourself if you don't think Samuel Vimes is holding the gun.

[mordacitatis]

did we all forget Men at Arms? Samuel Vimes is extremely opposed to gonnes

[i-meme-groot]

@copperbadge

[eeethereaaal-deactivated2022081]

[i-meme-groot]

I am Groot!

[i-meme-groot]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

I am Groot!

[mysharona1987]

[randomencounters]

Encounter: drunk raccoon whose bites and scratches deal Radiant damage

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

O.O

A powerful animal

[teratomarty]

The vampire hunter’s secret weapon!

[postapocalypticflimflam]

[roguetelemetry]

This is exactly what Rocket would do if he had to fight vampires with Blade.

“Dude hold on one second…”

[i-meme-groot]

I am Groot?!

[afeelgoodblog]

LARGE

[blackmemecat]

Snack?

[i-meme-groot]

I am Groot!

💕

[memecaptainsteverogers]

August Has No Federal Holiday.

Except it DOES NOW. Due to a legal loophole known as the Because I Said So And If You Disagree Fight Me clause, I have the authority to declare federal holidays.

In my capacity as Captain America I am declaring, henceforth and in perpetuity, that the second Friday in August shall be known as National Parks Rebellion Day. 

Even though it happened in January, the second Friday in August is a much more temperate time to commemorate the glorious rebellion of the National Parks social media accounts against the tyranny of 45. National Parks Rebellion Day encourages all those who are able to visit a National Park, and for those who can’t to celebrate our great outdoors with cookouts, backyard camping, acts of civil disobedience (but not in the parks, pick up your trash you degenerates), and Absolutely No Fireworks, It’s A Fire Hazard And It Upsets People. 

You have over a month to prepare! This August, plan to celebrate a National Park with a park party! We will be having one at Stark Tower and anyone who loves National Parks and Civil Disobedience are welcome. Our theme will be John Muir Would Punch This President Right In His Face. 

Costumes and donations of camping gear for disadvantaged Girl Scouts are strongly encouraged.

[memecaptainsteverogers]

National Parks Rebellion Day is a month and a half away! Start planning your parties now! 

[memecaptainsteverogers]

The third annual National Parks Rebellion Day is coming! You have a little over a month to prepare. Celebrate our National Parks however you think best, from donating to support them to having a campout or a cookout to Deliberately Not Setting Off Fireworks and Deliberately Picking Up Your Trash. 

The council for advancing National Parks Rebellion Day (ie, me) also encourages those who can to participate in Global Sleep Under The Stars Night, the Saturday before National Parks Rebellion Day. Is it sponsored by a massive corporate entity? Yes! Is it still a really fun idea you can participate in while totally ignoring Eddie Bauer? ALSO YES! 

[copperbadge]

I Support National Parks Rebellion Day!

[snarkaeologist]

May I suggest: adding in the Forest Service and making the Official Date August 9th, which is already a holiday - Smokey Bear’s birthday. Holiday would still be observed on the second Friday.

[memecaptainsteverogers]

APPROVED. Smokey the Bear is now an honorary Avenger. He’ll fit right in.

[i-meme-groot]

I am Groot?

[mintmintdoodles]

I am GROOT!

[i-meme-groot]

I am Groot!

[glumshoe]

raccoons make no sense because they will leave your birdseed and garbage and garden and compost pile alone but they WILL open a barrel and pull out an empty 5 gallon gas canister and unscrew the lid and leave it in your yard and also untie the dog tether from your porch beam for no reason

[glumshoe]

one time I watched a raccoon pull up plastic tent stakes at a campground and just walk away, content with causing mischief

another time at camp I woke up to find a raccoon had grabbed the yarn that connected the string telephones my neighbor and I had strung up between our cabin windows and was just yanking on it… I grabbed one end and ended up in a tug-of-war over the string phone while this beefy raccoon pulled and pulled, hand over hand, making direct eye contact with me

and sometimes they’d sneak into cabins and just…. touch people while they slept

why!!! who said you could act like this!!!

[kelssiel]

what would you do if you were a Tiny Bastard with thumbs filled to the brim with The Uncontrollable Desire for Mischief?

[glumshoe]

Exactly what I’m doing.

[i-meme-groot]

I am Groot?

[i-meme-groot]

Groot In Hot Water After Recent 'I Am Groot' Comments

HOLLYWOOD, CA—Another Hollywood celebrity has come under fire for making controversial statements that some are calling “the wor

I am Groot!