The Guilty Mind

My name is Sarah. I'm 29, a lawyer, and have somehow ended up in Windsor, ON. I also run EFC Cooking.

[dennys]

Why are you like this?

you made us this way

[peachdoxie]

This is the most accurate meta-commentary on the relation between social media and a corporation I’ve ever seen.

[parallel-fields-deactivated2017]

2016 is feeling more and more like that bit in movies where the time traveller accidentally kills a bug and when they return the world is Not Quite Right

[feasy]

[luanneclatterbuck]

OH MY GOD

[amavalapizza-blog]

Snort

[cbc]

[mens-rea]

This is both accurate and so authentically Canadian that it hurts.

[cbc]

[txbeergoddess]

My German grandma came to the US in 1952, she gained citizenship, and was proud to be part of a country that was much freer than the one she immigrated from. She and my grandfather owned forty-six guns between the two of them, they taught their four sons, and all five of us grandchildren to shoot them. They encouraged us to own guns, and protect ourselves. They told us never to believe the lie that you do not need them, they had witnessed how that goes. 

[tomorroejones-deactivated202209]

Cool and how many of grandma’s guns could be bought with no waiting period and fired 50 rounds per minute?

[aplague0fbitches-deactivated201]

No one finds it at all odd that this person is comparing the viewpoint of someone who had left a country that, at the time of her emigration, was just pulling itself up from the Nazi regime to the need to arm oneself in present day America?

[txbeergoddess]

Are you saying we should disarm ourselves? Please tell me how my Oma was wrong? The government that disarms the people kills the people. You go on and be a victim of bad guys and the government, I was raised better.

[aplague0fbitches-deactivated201]

Ideally? Yeah, you should be disarmed. I think it’s been pretty well established that as a whole none of you can be trusted with your toys. 

The type of weaponry available to American citizens is obscene and unnecessary. There is no reason any person outside of military personnel should have automatic rifles. No one needs an arsenal of over 40 guns in their home. That is sick and indicative to me of a level of extreme paranoia that would be better addressed with a therapist than a closet full of guns.

But practically speaking, because god forbid the American people give up their precious weapons, if you want your damn penis extensions so bad there need to be stricter restrictions on how people obtain them, what types of guns they’re allowed to have, and how many they are allowed to own (46 is too many. Try, like, 2.)

How was your Oma wrong? Her worldview was shaped by Nazi leadership and she took the fear of an oppressive and genocidal government rule with her to another country and instilled that lasting fear in her family. From the way you tell it she doesn’t have the guns for sport or whatever other reason someone might own a firearm; she had them because of an inherent and persistent fear. And the last person I want owning forty six guns is a paranoid person who thinks the gub’mint is coming for them. So your Oma was wrong. I’m sure she was a delightful woman otherwise but on this she was dead wrong.

And here’s something totally wild that’s just going to blow your mind: here in Canada, where I blessedly live, our gun laws, though imperfect and leaving still much to be desired, make it much more difficult to obtain firearms and as a result we don’t have mass shootings on the scale that Americans do. Are we utterly void of crime? No, of course not. But do we have one mass shooting for nearly every day of the year so far? Nnnnnnnope! In fact, after one particularly heinous shooting in 1989 - École Polytechnique - we put laws in place to restrict access to guns and then, in 1995, further restrictions were put into place. And oddly enough our government didn’t swiftly march into the streets to slaughter us after effectively disarming us. In fact, we’re ahead of the U.S. for best countries in the world to live and the whole planet is creaming their pants over our little sunbeam PM. Terrible stuff over here! We’re all terrified and miserable! 

Oh and not only all of that but, we generally don’t feel like we need to barricade ourselves in our homes behind a wall of fire power. Actually, most countries exist perfectly contently without a house full of guns. It’s mostly the U.S. that stands as the odd man out here,

So would you look at that, neither a victim of bad guys nor the government. And all without guns!

How I N T E R E S T I N G 

[mens-rea]

[jewlsies]

Guys don't like that much makeup.

then I suggest they just stick to a lightweight bb cream and mascara

[tastefullyoffensive]

(via MartinPilgrim1)

[raddestbabe]

everyone’s having their mid-life crises at like 19

[olivertrees]

[tastefullyoffensive]

There are three types of people… (via akilan_shady)

[shencomix]

The magic was in YOU.

image / twitter / facebook / patreon

[ofgeography]

Should You Download The Rock Clock?

hello friends, it’s me, you’re old pal molls ofgeo. i know a lot of you have heard about “the rock clock,” and wondered, “is it for me?” well, no fear!! i am here to answer all your questions to help you decide.

what is “the rock clock”? you know that tumblr post that’s like “imagine a world where everything is the same except dwayne the rock johnson is an unquestioned part of your friend group”? the rock clock is that world. in the rock clock world, you live with dwayne the rock johnson, and every morning it is his job to wake you up before he heads off to the gym to Be Excellent. your roommate, DTRJ, also wants you to Be Excellent, but he knows it’s a little harder for you than for him, since he bench presses Excellence 50 times before breakfast while you’re still army-crawling toward the kitchen for coffee. to help you along, DTRJ sings you a little song he wrote himself about how you’re gonna kick today’s butt. while you slowly put on your human form, free-climbing from blissful sleep into the hellish reality of having to Get Up and Pay Bills and Vacuum Your House and Contribute To Society, DTRJ talks to you about how you’re gonna kill it today and he’s also gonna kill it, but with a lime green water bottle.

i’m a deep sleeper. will “the rock clock” really wake me up? i personally believe–and i think that science will back me up on this, once a few years have passed and we start to get some literature on the matter–that the rock clock could be used to wake king arthur in avalon. had rip van winkle had access to the rock clock, he would have used those 20 years for kickin’ butt, not snoozing. snow white definitely wouldn’t have had to wait for some rando on horseback. poisoned apples?? lmao the rock clock doesn’t care WHAT you were drinking last night, snow white, you messy ish. it’s a new day!!! the best way to deal with a hangover is to face it head on!!! let’s go get smoothies!!!

so… it’s just an alarm clock? just? “”“just”””?????? ok, wow, clearly you weren’t reading that whole masterpiece about Your New Roommate Dwayne The Rock Johnson, pal. you have the opportunity to wake up to THE ROCK telling you that you are SUNSHINE!!! and to GET AFTER IT!!! what is “it”?? who knows. the world. your life. that bus. a dog that got off its leash. 

the rock clock also allows you to set a goal that dwayne the rock johnson will help you accomplish by helping you get out of bed. for example, my goal is to finally finish the gd book outline i’ve been looking at and not touching for nigh on a year, and also, to run a half marathon. you know what dwayne the rock johnson said to me this morning to help me accomplish that? he said, “get out of bed. i’m driving a pick-up truck.” AND HE WAS RIGHT!! 

does dwayne “the rock” johnson really care about me and my goals? of course he does. look at him:

lookit that dog!!! you and are are that dog, and dwayne the rock johnson is the rock. he’s gonna carry us as far as he can and then we’re gonna have to toddle along on our own.

are you being paid to talk this much about the rock clock? the rock clock is free, and also, how dare you. i’d never accept money to endorse things.*

is this post a joke? no. i genuinely fucking love the rock clock. 

*yes i would, call me immediately apple.com

[mens-rea]

@plagueofbitches, this seems like your jam.

[president-coriolanus-snow]

Canada loses an entire city due to wild fire -- Yes you read that correctly.

Within the last week Canada has lost an entire city due to wild fire and it is rapidly spreading, and expected to double in size. Fort McMurray has been ablaze all week and the fire is spreading towards Saskatchewan. Attempts to put the fire out have been failing because the fire is so hot water it is evaporating before it can do any good. 

Dry and extremely windy conditions are fueling the blaze, which has already scorched more than 1,560 square kilometers (602 square miles) and displaced tens of thousands of people.

These people are no longer evacuees … They’re refugees. 

Rain is to be expected next week, but a downpour is needed to tame a monstrous fire – which is the size of Hong Kong and is almost 25% bigger than New York City – that has displaced about 88,000 people, wiped out 1,600 structures including homes, schools and hospitals, and sent plumes of smoke as far away as Iowa.

Here is a link if you want to help, please share this, this is a huge tragedy and these people need help. 

http://www.macleans.ca/news/canada/want-to-help-those-fleeing-fort-mcmurray-heres-how/

These aren’t screen captions from a movie this is happening RIGHT NOW less than 1000 miles away from my own home. 

[size10plz]

To put how massive this fire is in perspective (in comparison to major cities), here are some images.

This was from May 5th

These are from today (I’m currently abroad and it’s the 8th of May but it is still the 7th else where as of posting this), and it’s expected to double in size. 

This fire is expected to double in size in the next few days and possibly go into Saskatchewan which is the next province over, and it’s out of control until we hopefully get some rain early next week. 

If you can donate within Canada (i’m not sure if this will work in the US or other countries) text FIRES to 45678 to donate $10 or Text REDCROSS to 30333 to donate $5.

If you want to donate and are outside of Canada, you can go to the Canadian Red Cross and donate here. Do not donate under crowdfunding sites, unfortunately there are scammers there and it’s best to donate directly to charities. The Canadian government is matching donations made to the Red Cross as well. As the OP said, if you are in Alberta and near the area and want to help by volunteering your time, Macleans has an article on where and how to help, and google will also give more information as well for what community centres in the surrounding areas need in terms of supplies

Please share and spread the word if you cannot donate. 

[tastefullyoffensive]

(via CaptainCaplin)

[sarahseeandersen]

[tastefullyoffensive]

by Sarah Andersen

[thebestoftumbling]

[spatscolombo-deactivated2022030]

Justin go back to your seat this is a nuclear summit not junior high study hall you can’t just sit with your crush there are assigned name tags and you are decidedly not Nigeria