yes i like joseph dont @ me

rat - they/them - 24 terraria clown atm follow my wonderful WIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! @kanguin

[cryptotheism]

I always wanted to be the guard that tells only lies

[cryptotheism]

I mean I've actually never wanted to be that.

[cryptotheism]

Stupid stupid stupid. C'mon. At this rate I'll never be a lie guard.

[saulwexler]

Hey did you draw that evil feminist caricature to warn men how their wives would act once they got the right to vote? Illustrator: sure did boss. real sexy, just like you asked.

[moonkitty]

i need to be inbetween that womans legs while that thing is locked in the basement like the dog he is

[at-the-end-of-all]

has anyone done this yet idk?

[drtanner]

[kittydealer]

u/Fine-Dog-9874

[your-dewey-decimal-number-is]

523.8875

black holes

[bimmyjimmy]

i didnt know the flash was on

[crabussy]

captivated by his colours. how is he doing this

[angeliongabriel]

aroace grace means something really special to me (like i imagine he does for many other aroace/ aro and ace spec people) but it’s so awesome to see a character being so widely headcanoned as aroace whom i feel actually represented the spectrum in canon. not to mention the pure connection between grace and rocky like, it’s the sort of platonic relationship i ,as an aroace person, yearn for and this silly guy who looks like ryan gosling gets to have it with a alien rock spider. honestly it’s unfair

[cleo-fox]

Writing tips:

“You feel the bulge in his pants” - implies that you are feeling some guy’s penis, may be sexy depending on context

“You feel the bugle in his pants” - implies that this guy has a military horn in his pants, invites confusing questions like why does he have that and how big are his pockets

[maple-seed]

Both options convey that he's horny

[cleo-fox]

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

[beetroot-merchant]

im not a girl Unless ☝️ im being told to go piss

[spicyprincezuko]

I wish all Black girls a clear shot at this world. I wish all Black girls a full belly. I wish all Black girls a respite from their many troubles. I wish all Black girls nothing but grace, prosperity, and ease. Black girls I am hoping for your continued safety and success every single day.

[lvmimis]

tbh i love hear me outs but i also love the opposite of hear me outs where it’s like nearly everyone thinks they’re fuckable except you

[vintxgemiseries]

count me outs

[tallochar]

Adopting that immediately.

[pmamtraveller]

Cat and kitten door knocker, Clun, England

[dreadwedge]

As a transsexual woman 👩 who has had multiple experiences ‼️ I have found 🔎 that the biggest block of cheese 🧀 is usually the one ☝️ that has the largest size 📈

[dreadwedge]

mature content

[pinniposting]

everyone knows what a baby harp seal looks like, but here’s an adult! this one’s tracker makes it look like a live bomb

photo: W.J. Grecian, SMRU

[littleguysdaily]

[shencomix]

[status-quo-hater]

I think one of the funniest abortion stances I've heard was from my parents neighbor. He's a like, hard-core libertarian viking larper guy who is very tall and very fat and very bald.

He believes a fetus is human with a soul, but also its "basically attacking the woman's body" so if she wants to get rid of it, that's "basically self-defense". He compared it to shooting a home invader. So he supports abortion not as healthcare, but as killing a baby in self-defense

[status-quo-hater]

Y'know I'm so glad someone reminded me of this. Because this was also discussed.

My stepmother did NOT like the way her Libertarian Viking Neighbor framed pregnancy as the fetus "attacking the woman". She incredulously told him this was extremely disrespectful to expectant mothers to portray pregnancy as so violent and negative.

Libertarian Viking Neighbor's response was that people consensually hurt each other all the time, and "there's like a whole community about that, with the acronym the one that starts with a B" And his reasoning was that if the mother was consenting to bring attacked by the baby, it in fact wasn't violent and negative because there was consent.

He brought up people consensually hurting each other, didn't go for one of the obvious answers like boxing or body mods or something, no he went STRAIGHT TO BDSM and he DIDN'T EVEN REMEMBER THE ACRONYM

[my-dailydreams]

[mist-the-wannabe-linguist]

Levels of understanding other slavic languages

oh we also have X and it means the same!

that looks like X but misspelled

that's just the archaic variant of X

this sounds a lot like Y from another slavic language I know which means X in mine so this almost 100% also means X

this word is completely different but I can kinda tell the meaning from the morphology

what

okay right now I'm gonna have to dissect the entirety of this language's history to figure out how the FUCK did y'all get to the point of calling X that and not something more normal

I wanted to ask for X and accidentally called someone a whore

[mist-the-wannabe-linguist]

I don't even have to look at the blog and I just know this is from a Pole about Czechs

suffering

[byrons]

KAKAOVY CHLEBICEK???!!!???

[mist-the-wannabe-linguist]

hissing growling scratching you etc etc

[mist-the-wannabe-linguist]

for example

(Polish: are you looking for a squirrel?, Slovak: excuse me, he is doing what to the squirrel?)

(also "hladna pića" means "cold drinks" in Croatian. means "hungry cunt" in Slovak and Czech)

("you're weird" in Czech is the same as "you're amazing" in Croatian, while "you're amazing" in Czech is the same as "you're terrible" in Croatian)

[poetka]

My favourite recent-ish example of #8:

[visloka]

[czto-nebud-blog]

Don't forget this:

And of course pomoć (help) vs pomoč (ordering you to piss on something)

[czto-nebud-blog]

Also remembered this shop from my trip to Croatia (piko means meth in czech and slovak)

[kaazdalena]

przepraszam w CZYM ta restauracja????

[axolotl-anemonoides]

This reminds me of that time my (Czech) family went to Poland for my uncle's wedding (because my aunt - his wife - is Polish and they decided to get married in Poland).

The wedding afterparty was in full swing, everyone was drinking and partying.... and an elderly Polish lady approached my two aunts (who were also drinking a lot and partying hard) and commented something along the lines of "jesteście odporne". Which in Polish means "you're resilient" (as in they're handling the alcohol well) but in Czech it means "you're disgusting".

It took my aunts a bit to remember that it means something different in Polish. 😅

[mist-the-wannabe-linguist]

another beautiful case of n.8 from @someidioticurl

Czech vision: ah yes an emergency button to press in case of emergency

Polish vision:

[ta-bajna-cerna-okybaca]

Oh, I have a few!

'pozor' in Czech means 'watch out!', but means 'shame' in Russian

droga in czech means drug, in polish it means road

záchod in czech means toilet, zachód in polish means 'west'

odchod 'to depart' in Czech means very specifically 'to depart by foot', while in Slovak it has a bit wider meaning, and buses and trains also combine with 'odchod'. To a Czech speaker this gives the funny implication that departing trains grow legs and walk out of the train station

Croatian 'mrdati' = to wiggle, means 'to have sex' in Czech

'Čerstvý, voňavý chléb' is Czech for 'fresh, nicely smelling bread'. In means the opposite in some slavic languages 'stale, stinky bread'. This kind of 'good meaning in one but bad meaning in other' duality happens surprisingly often actually, see also úžas and odporný above

otrok in Czech means 'slave' but in Slovenian and perhaps other South slavic languages it means 'child'. Very funny when combined with bazaar, turns a perfectly fine baby bazar into a slave bazaar

My friend has a fun sentence from Slovenian - "Hitri otroci kuhali jed na Dunaji". Literally none of the words here mean what a Czech thinks they mean. No not even Dunaj. Czechs read it as 'smart slaves were disemboweling poison by the Donau river', original Slovenian meaning is 'fast children were cooking food in Vienna'

Edit: wait one more. "srpanj" in Croatian means July, "srpen" in Czech means August. Listopad in Croatian means 'October', in Czech means 'November'. rujan in Croatian means 'September', říjen in Czech means 'October'. kwiecień in Polish means 'April', kviteń in Ukrainian also means 'April', květen in Czech means 'May'. Months are fucked up.

[alexaloraetheris]

Slavic languages is what happened when God decided that the Tower of Babel was getting too tall.