And the day goes on

Brainweird sideblog. DID-spec System (undiagnosed), Autism-spec, C-PTSD. Gabriel / 24yrs / white / transmale. We post about mental health and illness, brainweird things, and system positivity. Contains sensitive themes. ***I'd also prefer not to personally interact with endogenic/natural/spiritual systems due to past trauma, but you can definitely follow.***

[pandora-s-shit-deactivated20220]

Having ADHD is that your brain either feels like

Or

And it can switch in a matter of seconds.

[devinwolfi]

bold of you to assume im not

[joyfully-it-devours]

THATS IT THATS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE

[oysters-aint-for-me]

birdy.., !’

[meow-moment]

Yep that's what it's like

[cluster-brains]

[FLAG id: a geometric shaped flag of various green. A blue diamond in the middle, left is light blue, right is dark blue. End ID]

Spoon Generator Flag

A system member who generates spoons. Not necessarily while in front, but is most commonly used in that context.

Spoon generator gives us green vibes! So we chose green as a "generator" color! Blue is a good complementary color for green

[banner ID: Do Not Interact: Truscum ; Anti endogen sys/anti any nonDID/OSDD sys ; Gender critical ; Anti MOGAI ; Anti neopronouns ; Anti mspec gays (lesbain/vincians) :end ID]

[literaphobe]

UH WHAT

UH...... WHAT.........

[eirenical]

This entire article is eye-opening, even as someone who has ADHD and has read a lot about it already. There's so much more there than just the bit about the glucose-craving brain. SO. MUCH.

This might have been the bit that hit me hardest, actually:

it would be easy to misinterpret the following scenario as a standoff between two partners: Imagine that your partner asks you to pay the electric bill, and you say to yourself, “OK, I have time to do that today.” But when you sit down to do it, you keep getting distracted. The ADHD brain needs higher stimulation in order to complete this rote task with minimal payoff. Your ADHD brain says, “That task is way too boring, and I refuse to focus on it. Find something that interests me more, which offers me a bigger dopamine reward, and I’ll work with you.” It doesn’t matter that you know you should pay the bill as promised; if your brain won’t engage, it’s an ugly standoff. Perhaps, after a day of procrastination — when your partner will be home in 20 minutes and the bill is still unpaid — there may be enough of an adrenaline rush from a sense of crisis that your brain will engage and you pay the bill.

The ADHD brain and its owner are at odds with one another. It’s difficult to compel a disengaged brain to engage by force of will. In fact, much of the treatment for ADHD involves learning to psych out the brain, so that it will attend to necessary, low-stimulation tasks.

Appreciating the tug-of-war within that pits intellect against neurobiology increases compassion and acceptance for one’s hidden struggle.

I feel SEEN. OTZ

Seriously, though. Read the whole thing. It's a good one.

[image-description-blog]

[ID: Two cropped screenshots that explain stuff about ADHD. The first image reads "...prefrontal cortex. As a result, ADHD brains send out distress messages demanding more glucose, and the owners of those brains suddenly crave sugary foods and carbohydrates, which can be quickly converted into glucose. Glucose increases dopamine and serotonin, so brains experience pleasure and greater calm. Many people with ADHD chide themselves for indulging in pasta and cookies, when their brains are actually demanding those foods instead of salad."

The second image reads "It is no wonder that those with ADHD struggle with diet and nutrition. When they self-medicate with food, their brains enjoy a surge of dopamine, an increase in glucose-based energy that improves attention, and a serotonin-based calming of restlessness. Particularly for the impulsive ADHD brain, this perfect storm of rewards increases the likelihood of overeating." END ID]

[thatautisticadhdfeel]

Oh. OK EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE NOW THANK YOU INTERNET

[crafty-butch]

having one of those executive function days where everything is too many steps

[crafty-butch]

by which i mean, like, here's how my brain parses the steps in making coffee

good day:

make coffee

regular day:

put water in coffee maker

put coffee in coffee maker

turn on coffee maker

bad day:

take pot from coffee maker

turn on sink

fill up coffee pot

turn off sink

pour water into coffee maker

put coffee pot in coffee maker

open cupboard

get coffee filter from cupboard

get coffee beans from cupboard

put filter in coffee pot

measure coffee

pour coffee into filter

close coffee maker

turn coffee maker on

anyway this is a "14 steps to make coffee" kind of day

[kieraelieson]

This is actually a really good way of explaining this

[radiqueer]

one fairly common experience of gifted children is wishing for pain. wishing you had some great big horrible thing in your past so that you can justify the pain you’re in, and so that you’ll deserve help. it’s exhausting and it fucks you up and to anyone out there who feels like they haven’t suffered enough to get help: you’re allowed to want help. you’re in enough pain. you deserve to feel better

[rexieboii]

holy shit yeah

[homoslovenc]

[skiinny-bird]

is this one of those things that everyone actually does?? i just assumed i was a shitty person

[sir-ghost-the-green]

Wait that’s normal?

[star-anise]

It’s not “normal” as in “everybody feels this way so suck it up and quit whining”.

It’s “normal” as in “many people experience pain, loneliness, anxiety, self-hatred, and other symptoms of mental illness that feel like they ‘don’t count’ because there’s no real Thing they can point to to explain it, but their pain and suffering are real and ought to be taken seriously.”

However, when I say “many people” I actually mean “less than a quarter of the population”. The vast majority of people aren’t in massive internal pain most of the time. If this post resonates with you, I super recommend you look into mental health resources, because nobody deserves to feel this way, and there’s a very real hope that information, understanding, therapy, and/or medication can work together to help you feel better.

[star-anise]

Fantasizing about being hurt or dying in some way so that everyone realizes how much pain you’re in isn’t a sign that you’re a terrible person. It’s a sign that YOU’RE IN A LOT OF PAIN. Pain that deserves help and that CAN be helped.

The notes on this post today make me wanna CRY.

[mbelyakova]

I just want to add that a trauma expert I know has an interesting way of explaining this.

Basically, due to the stress of impossible expectations and the psychological issues that arise from that, a lot of “gifted” kids accumulate trauma in small bits. This is known as “complex trauma.” (complex/C-PTSD is a thing but the DSM doesn’t recognize it separately from other PTSD yet, if I recall correctly.)

Trauma shatters your sense of self. Picture the sense of self as a statue. People who undergo one or more distinct, intense traumatic experiences can crumble quickly, as if the statue is being destroyed in one or just a few blows.

People who have lived with a low-level background anxiety or sense of impending panic (especially throughout their childhoods) may not have a big statue-shattering moment. Instead, the statue is chipped away, slowly, over years.

The result can be just as dire. You don’t need that One Big Thing as an “excuse” for your pain. If the statue is in shards, it’s in shards, regardless of how it got to be that way.

[gilasaurus]

friend: wow you’re such a kind person!

me: 

[veryfunnymemes]

[mothqes]

adhd things no-one really talks about

- skewed sense of time eg; i can easily get there and back before my eggs cook!

- altered sense of reality//tendency to get sucked up in daydreams and temporarily lose track of real life

- extremely vivid daydreams// alternative realities

- feeling really lonely but getting the urge to isolate yourself for no reason

- getting overwhelmed by too many choices and freaking out

- hearing the instructions but not really being able to hold onto them

- people cant speak to you while you’re really focused on something because you can’t hold on to multiple things in your brain at once

- repeating things over and over in your head to try and remember them

- feeling like you never really appreciate things as much as you should because you get too sidetracked

- getting super excited by small things but sometimes feeling indifferent towards the things everyone’s raving about

- being self conscious from everyone telling you you’re annoying but being scared you’ll come off as boring

- getting hyperfixations on a certain person and getting really wrapped up on them regardless of if they like you back

- putting too much into things and getting disappointed when it’s not reciprocated

- constantly being told that you’re too intense and need to chill it out a bit

- ^ thinking you’re cool and desperately wanting to just be chill and laid back but your personality is just 24/7 overdrive

- building things up so much in your head to the point that it gets stressful because what if it doesn’t live up to expectations??

- extremely over-emotional (this includes when it’s inappropriate such as giggling at sad things and then feeling really bad after)

- feeling when you just don’t know when to stop

- getting increasingly uncomfortable in a situation for no apparent reason until you feel like you’re gonna cry or scream but you do none of that and just sit there

feel free to add on!

[talons-mcbeak]

this post is the only checklist I’ve ever completed

[deadblogggu-u-deactivated202010]

messy thing just to get my thoughts down

[adhd-alien]

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria This is… one of the reasons why I have a hard time truly connecting with people - and one of my best kept secrets. Or rather, most shamefully hidden secrets.

[momosweetpeach]

Due to popular demand, here is the Typography Final comic that I did at VCUarts, originally posted over here as simple illustations. It was an informational comic about Autism.

Please take into consideration that this is based on my own experiences and is meant to be light-hearted and very basic. This is not an official medical guide to autism and was instead a theme to an art project rather than a medical study.

That being said, I hope you enjoy it none the less. Tbh I rushed it because finals are crazy lol

[incendavery]

prepare thyself. myself.

[no-chill-at-all]

[blubrrybowl]

When you’re trying to act normal in front of a group of people you barely know and someone mentions one of your special interests

[adhd-alien]

My intense emotions make it hard to be myself around others. Emotional Dysregulation is a MASSIVE and underrated topic in ADHD.

[spongebob-autisticquestions]

If someone tells you they're autistic, believe them. Don't tell them they don't look autistic, don't tell them "not to put themselves down", don't say "there's more to you than autism", just accept it

[curseworm]