merely an oscillation

Melissa, she/they. Previously melissasoup. I mostly blog about personal stuff and Half-Life, and sometimes I post art. Other content includes Soviet architecture, abandoned/urbex, and guinea pigs. If you want me to tag something for your blacklist (anything!), please let me know and I will. Art tags for mobile: mbarttag (current), mdrawsstuff (previous).

[mbelyakova]

health & hiatus update

so, since may i’ve had the privilege of seeing a doctor who specializes in treating mcas/pots. there’s a series of meds for me to (very slowly) try, in a certain order. there are dietary changes to be (slowly) made. there’s a lot of resting to be done, because my body can’t stand not to. i’m trying to embrace radical rest. i’m also waiting on test results to see if i have obstructive sleep apnea. (i hope so at this point because there is an Easy Fix for that compared to the other health problems...)

compression garments, 4L of water per day, 4g of extra salt per day, reclining exercises that i haven’t found the spoons to try just yet. it’s a lot to manage, so i can only proceed a little at a time.

i’ll keep my queue going on this site as much as possible, but i will be ~slow as fuck~ to respond to messages anywhere. i miss drawing and fangirling and goofing off with everyone, and it means so much to me when i get a message checking in or wishing me well. i hope i can return the favors when i have access to more spoons. for evidence of life, i’ll basically always continue to be kpop trash on lastfm.

🖤 i love you guys, times are hard for everyone, please be gentle with yourselves 🖤

[athetos]

Wait. They aren’t jokes. You guys really keep dozens of tabs open on your browser forever.

[xadnem]

What if I want to return to my search for obscure russian idioms or go back to rereading 17776? What am I supposed to do, spontaneously remember that that was a thing I was doing, completely unprompted by visual stimulus or external reminders, and renew my search from the beginning in a fresh new tab? No, my cluttered nightmare of tabs is a way better solution if i ever even hope to come close to getting back to the things i leave for later.

[iftadwascool]

goots

[halflifeanalysis]

concept: Breen gets on the Breencast and starts shaming the citizens for their filthy disgusting ships

Animals, all of you. Now let me read a PWP slowburn I recently received in the mail

[katscottage]

I’m so much more productive after the sun goes down. While the sun is up I feel the weight of having to do things and it just overwhelms me.

But when the sun has gone to bed suddenly my time is my own. I can do with it what I will and oftentimes that means the cleaning I’ve been meaning to do, the projects I’ve been putting off. They suddenly don’t seem overwhelming to me.

I like it when the sun goes down.

[love-to-love-puppies]

Ah, your ancestors were the ones who kept the night watch around the campfire

[katscottage]

I’m sorry but this is genuinely the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.

[xxtc-96xx]

in case you were wondering why I always post at 3am XD

[hangingfromchandeliers]

that “if youre over 24 and still on tumblr it means mental illness has won” post is so funny. rip to you all but i’ll still have hobbies and interests when im in my 30s

[lastvalyrian]

people on tumblr be like if you are 25 your hobbies are children and career and taxes. I am progressive btw

[remnantglow]

cant stop thinking abt ursula k. le guin’s essay abt the carrier bag theory….. she’s like, maybe the first human tool was not a weapon, but rather something that holds, a bag, a pouch, a vessel, something for gathering and storing and sharing. let’s shift the narrative of humanity from that of violence to that of safekeeping. and i’m like

[remnantglow]

and THEN she’s like, a novel is also a carrier bag. there’s the Hero’s story, sure, but there’s room enough in fiction for every experience, for every little thing, and it’s that other story, the life story, that she seeks……. o|-<

[remnantglow]

turns out the entire essay is online (thanks, Anarchist Library) and i really can’t recommend it enough

[rem-ir]

[strangestorys]

*slaps novel on the hood* this bad boy can fit so many facets of human experience in it

[tmbgareok]

[catmat]

I often struggle with finding the good in being disabled and chronically ill. But one of the best things that has come out of this is a better understanding of humanity:

I better understand the need for equity, equality, fairness, and accessibility in society.

I am more aware of problematic health care, insurance, and governmental regulations for disadvantaged groups.

I understand the feelings that come with being isolated, discriminated against, excluded, and ridiculed.

I understand the pain, loss, helplessness, courage, and, determination that comes with physical and mental illnesses.

I understand humanity a lot better than before.

With so much being taken away from me, I've gained in compassion for the complexities of people's struggles.

Thank you all for raising awareness about the injustices we face and for being so supportive of each other. You are the good that makes this journey easier ❤.

[itspileofgoodthings]

my dad taught me history in high school (all girls, private, catholic school) and one of my absolute favorite things about him was that, unlike every other teacher I had, he was never calm when a bee or, more accurately, a hornet or yellowjacket, flew in the window. he would stop whatever he was doing, reach for a book or rolled up piece of paper, and say with great dramatic flair, “ladies, the enemy is here.”

[silverstreams]

me, sitting upright in bed 3 months after posting a portal fanfiction: oh my god i forgot the portals

[kaity--did]

Weaponized incompetence my ass just weaponize it back. Once my dad tries to pull the “but I don’t know how to clean the counters as well as you” on my mom and she said “ok honey I’ll show you” and she made him stand in the kitchen and watch her clean the counters. Then she pulled out a bottle of chocolate syrup and proceeded to spray the entire kitchen in chocolate, hand him the sponge and said “okay now it’s your turn”

[ohbeesneeze]

[breelandwalker]

Weaponized Pettiness is an appropriate reaction to Weaponized Incompetence.

[ithrowshoesatconservatives]

long-term nuclear waste warning messages + rich people's indoor swimming pools

[lycanthrology]

[attempting to flirt] if i was stuck in a timeloop id desperately explain my situation to you every single reset

[h0lographix]

[Gordon & trying new brushes :D!]

I found some new funky brushes and I like them a lot,, but yeah I’ve been experimenting with them with a couple of days and it’s been really fun Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ !!

[chewedcorn]

Actual review

[guerrillatech]

[pharmboywalt]

OH, this is the cover of Crabitalism!

[hug-your-face]

You’ve heard of late stage capitalism now get ready for

[karvivore-main]

@strikingcord