Mer's Loud Gallery of [Misery & Despair]

mercury_lamp's blog | 18+ to follow | I eat dead doves off the floor

[merlamps]

I write and sometimes I doodle and sometimes I write poetry now, and I ship fucked up things. I also read fucked up things. And roleplay fucked up things.

Currently into the hot vampires from BG3.

That is all.

[velvolktra]

Commission from Ulyana

[literary-melancholy]

Mary Oliver, Wild Geese

[merlamps]

With all due respect to Bram Stoker's initial vision, I can't imagine the Mina & Lucy Time breaks coming at better places in the story. So far, it's always been after Jonathan comes to some horrific revelation about how well and truly screwed he is, and the contrast just highlights how completely alone he is as he's headed for certain doom. Outside, life goes on. To wit: —

[rikiteekeetavee]

I love the fact that Quincey Morris canonically plays up his Texan accent and mannerisms to woo Lucy (as Lucy correctly deduced).

It is not because "Bram Stoker never met an American", Stoker travelled to the USA with Irving's theater at least eight times, where he became friends or acquaintances with Walt Whitman, Mark Twain, Teddy Roosevelt, William Frederick Cody, William McKinley...

[immediatebreakfast]

He explained to me that posts were few and uncertain, and that my writing now would ensure ease of mind to my friends; and he assured me with so much impressiveness that he would countermand the later letters...

It's such a cruel tactic to not only make Jonathan distressed by practically making him write dated letters that mark when he is going to be killed, but also to actively engage the other two people in his life that will look for him. Dracula could simply kill him once is june 29 on the calendear, but the Count seems to enjoy all of the manipulative cruelty he inflicts on Jonathan, it's insidious.

The purpose of writing the dates in a textual context is to amplify the dread that the readers may feel when they see how the gothic protagonist is trapped in an impossible situation with the threat of death. It's the seal of intrigue that makes us ask questions like "How the fuck is Jonathan going to get out of this?" And "is he really going to die in there?!" in order to keep the narrative going.

In the plot context where Jonathan is experiencing all of this, it's a kind of hell that he is never going to forget; the whole dreadful game that Dracula is playing with Jonathan as he manipulates the social conditions that let him both make Jonathan spiral more than he is already, and to send his loved ones into a fruitless chase across the country when Jonathan doesn't go back since Dracula intents to kill him... An excellent scene of silent but knowing terror.

[faithful-grigori]

”#It's horrific, #And if Jonathan dies and Mina goes to search for him because he didn't go to her, #She is going to Bistritz, #A fool's errand to find the lost body of her lover while Dracula goes unscathed”

[merlamps]

It was so very funny to watch Count Dracula hedge around his reasons for wanting multiple solicitors all unaware of each other ("is this legal?" "are there acceptable reasons to do this?" "would it come off weird?"), only for Jonathan to eventually catch on and go "yeah, that's what you do if you need privacy. This is common practice." At which point the Count visibly relaxes and starts asking him about the mechanics.

As someone who has facilitated the purchase of smutty art, yeah, this is exactly what customers who think they need to hide their reasons for wanting something act like. Down to the part when you go "you want X—yes, it can be arranged", and they finally feel free to enthusiastically get to the point.

But like. What did Bram Stoker do that he and I are familiar with this exact flavor of client interaction? I'll need to get my hands on a biography after I'm done with this book.

[gwydionmisha]

He was a queer man who worked in a public facing customer service capacity (amoung other things) at a theater in a time when neither thing was reputable and rich people would often want to "meet the performers" in private back stage in hopes of arranging or even out right purchasing more intimate encounters later.

He knew the dynamic well.

[knave3]

purple chronically ill wizard i have some thoughts about you

[psdrawsthings]

monster’s bride 2

[bogosortbeat]

Controversial take of the month: the idea that "not like the other girls" is and always has been a phrase used mostly by "pickmes" and women who orbit misogynist men that was popular on here a while back was a psyop by big misogyny to shut down discussion about the ways gender conforming straight women violently police each other's femininity. And is also misogynist in itself since it assumes that the only reason a woman might have disdain for conservative ideas of femininity is because she wants to fuck men.

[bogosortbeat]

Of course I think it's very important to ask why someone is saying that, what assumptions they're making about all women when they do. Do they think women are unilaterally vain? Deceitful? Shallow? Weak? This would obviously be misogynist. But also, what have they experienced that would lead them to believe that? Do you genuinely believe that the only possible explanation is that they want the attention of men?

This might be me mistaking my personal experiences for universal truths but like. The only times I ever heard that phrase offline was in high school, from the mouths of girls who were in some way rejected by their peers. Girls who in some way had their femininity denied by the popular kids. Maybe they're queer, maybe they're neurodivergent, maybe they're racialized, maybe the popular kids just don't like them. But regardless I think a lot of these sexist preconceptions about women are created by this experience. If your only interaction with other women is having them reject your expression of self and chastise you for not fitting into their traditionalist idea of what a woman is, you're probably going to end up not thinking very highly of them.

"Not like the other girls" is absolutely a mindset most often born from the fact that conservative women police the gender expression of other women. The "other girls" in question ARE conservative gender conforming women!!! It is far more often than not a misguided, naive expression of alienation from one's identity and peer group. And to be clear, it is a mindset that people need to grow out of. Women who have been bullied in this way do need to recognize it for what it is rather than turning the misogyny they experienced back on other people. But rather than recognize that systemic misogyny is often enforced by conservative women because they believe they'll benefit from throwing vulnerable women under the bus, we've assumed that all women who prefer to spend time with men do it because they're vapid orbiters and nothing else. Which is, again, wildly fucking misogynist. And I did feel like I was going a little crazy when this discourse was popular on here. What the hell was up with that?

[weltenwellen]

Goatsong Leila Chatti

[afterword]

[biglawbear]

This is really funny on dark mode

[transfeminine-anarcho-post-egg]

On dark mode this is like a clown trying to hide behind a light pole.

[merlamps]

So, I fell for it on dark mode. Maybe I shouldn't click on things. For my own safety.

[sanguine-stigmata]

one thing that particularly stands out to me in dracula, is the play with gender dynamics. in much of the first arc, at dracula's castle, johnathan is repeatedly likened to something feminine and emasculated. he comments on dracula's strength whenever he has the chance, he is caught in this damsel in distress position, he is assaulted by the wives of dracula, and despite his rather high intelligence, is constantly outplayed by dracula until the very end.

this compares heavily with mina, who is a much more masculinely coded character. she represents what was at the time known as the "new woman", a progressive, independent, woman who works alongside her husband in his profession and who shows far more agency throughout the novel. it is technically her, in text, who assembles the novel of dracula, by combining all the relevant newspaper clippings, diary entries, ship logs, etc. that make up the entries of the book.

as i mentioned in a post yesterday, this scene here today (may 16/end of chapter 3), leans heavily into queercoding johnathan. when dracula rescues him from the other vampires of the castle, his strength is drawn attention to once more. he is likened to the women who once used this room, dracula claims him and his openly, and there is a discussion on dracula loving him as he once did these vampire women.

this scene also mirrors the scene at may 4th/end of chapter one with dracula and the wolves. he shows similar command over the beasts as he does the women. even gestures the same way to control them/protect johnathan. with the wolves however, that was a planned stunt, a way to scare johnathan into staying with him. today's scene however? only happened because he underestimated johnathan and he was able to access parts of the castle he shouldn't. dracula lost control of the situation, even temporarally, and that's where the reader's expectations are subverted as to what dracula has planned for him in the long run.

[merlamps]

"God preserve my sanity, for to this I am reduced. Safety and the assurance of safety are things of the past."

Today's entry was totally normal, why do you ask?

[merlamps]

It was so very funny to watch Count Dracula hedge around his reasons for wanting multiple solicitors all unaware of each other ("is this legal?" "are there acceptable reasons to do this?" "would it come off weird?"), only for Jonathan to eventually catch on and go "yeah, that's what you do if you need privacy. This is common practice." At which point the Count visibly relaxes and starts asking him about the mechanics.

As someone who has facilitated the purchase of smutty art, yeah, this is exactly what customers who think they need to hide their reasons for wanting something act like. Down to the part when you go "you want X—yes, it can be arranged", and they finally feel free to enthusiastically get to the point.

But like. What did Bram Stoker do that he and I are familiar with this exact flavor of client interaction? I'll need to get my hands on a biography after I'm done with this book.

[brothermouse-skeleton]

But why did Dracula do that, though? Crawling out the window? in a lizard fashion? Wouldn't it mess up his nice clothes? Also he has doors? That he could just open? And walk through????

One of the scariest things about Dracula is what a weirdo he is for no reason.

[merlamps]

In full view of a window that Jonathan, who has very limited places to go, has access to. This man, whose ability for planning and foresight Jonathan was just extremely impressed by.

I am fully on team He's Making It Weird On Purpose.

[rhincodono]

May 12

"I saw the fingers and toes grasp the corners of the stones..."

Is....is Dracula barefoot in this scene???