When you drop anything in the bathroom
Remember when someone said this dude makes real twilight zone shit they were not fucking around
Excuse me while I laugh my entire ass off.
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@michael-fhtagn
When you drop anything in the bathroom
Remember when someone said this dude makes real twilight zone shit they were not fucking around
Excuse me while I laugh my entire ass off.
on anothe rnote im still thinking about spyro. collecting gems? extremely satisfying. gliding? HELL fucking ya. those vibrations when u charge into something? On Another Level
I say, jolly good show, chaps. And did I panic? I think not.
#the comic relief who is genuinely comic #and who makes the âincompetent bufoonâ trope actually work as an endearing quality as originally intended #well played movie - well played #john hannah #WHAT A FOX
#but! BUT!!!#THE GREAT THING ABOUT JONATHAN#IS HEâS NOT INCOMPETENT#he can read ancient Egyptian albeit not as well as his baby sister#he clearly has an interest in archaeology if only for treasure-related reasons#he had to go through intensive schooling to get the sort of permit required#to even have digs of his own#WHICH HE CLEARLY DOES#on a dig down in Thebes#he says and Evie believes him#Jonathan reads from the Book of the Living and heâs an excellent shot with a rifle and is clearly a boxer#Jonathan is SO COMPETENT and SO IMPORTANT#while simultaneously being plucky comic relief without JUST being plucky comic relief#u get me?
Jonathan, like Phryne Fisher, clearly hasnât taken anything seriously since 1918.
And, I would suspect, for similar reasons.
^^^This. Jonathan being in World War I makes total sense. Itâs almost impossible for him not to have been. Given his age and background, he probably volunteered in 1914. Â
Of course heâs going to not take anything seriously. Of course he can shoot. The drinking, the skittishness, the recklessness, the sense of âkeeping your head downâ, the scepticism about traditional heroismâŠ.
The one with more actual experience of death, carnage and fighting is Jonathan. Not Rick. Not Ardeth Bey. Jonathan.
When Rick says âIâve had worse (situation/odds)â and Jonathan replies â Me tooâ. Thatâs probably true.Â
Drop The Mummy into the real world context and thatâs a character whoâs going to have seen a lot of his school friends die, along with the myths and tales of heroism they were raised on. Sort of makes the line where Evieâs scolding him for drinking/messing about a lot darkerâŠ
Evie: Have you no respect for the dead? Jonathan: Of course I do, but sometimes Iâd rather like to join them.
I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS RIGHT NOW
*record scratch*
Wait a minute. Why is it being assumed that Rick and Ardeth wouldnât have fought in WWI, as well? Johnathan isnât that much older than any of themâin fact, there is a good chance that he, Rick, and Ardeth are all of an age. Just because Johnathanâs hair is thinning doesnât mean heâs a decade older.
It was a LOT easier to lie about your age back in the day. So much easier.
Johnathan is the soldier who fought in WWI and became disillusionsed with pretty much everything except wanting to live (most of the time) and live wellâand where is the shame in that? He would have seen some of the darkest shit humanity has to offer, and he kept going. And the thing is, though, archaeological digs at that time were DANGEROUS. Not from curses (usually) but from assholes who would turn up with guns to try and steal anything you discovered. Johnathan never really STOPPED having to deal with dangerous pricks, it was just less dangerous than death raining down from the sky in bomb, bullet, and mustard gas form all the time.
Rick grew up in Egypt as an orphan. What paperwork? He joined the French Foreign Legion, which fought in World War I in some seriously critical battles on the Western Front in Europe. Rick is the soldier who quickly grew disillusioned with everything, but he didnât know how to stop being a soldier. Johnathan had a career and schooling to fall back on. Rick had guns, the talent of not dying easily, and not much else. When the army finally left him behind because he was literally the only survivor of his last FFL battle, he literally didnât know what to do. At all. âLooking for a good timeâ was code for âPlease someone give me a fucking purpose.â
Ardeth grew up in the desert. He probably never enlistedâŠbut if you think his people didnât fight against invading forces during WWI, think again: that region of North Africa was swarming with soldiers on both sides, and they alll tried to claim everything they stumbled over even while in the midst of fighting each other. Ardeth spent his entire life fighting to protect what belonged to him, what belonged to his people, and trying to keep assholes from stealing things that didnât belong to anyone (for good reason). By the time the war was over, Ardeth was disillisioned in everyone except his own people, and seriously fucking done with stupid idiots who stole in the name of archaeology. He is completely (justifiably) resigned to the worst when Rick the Magic Survivalist returns to Hamunaptra.
This has been another episode of âActual History adding context and depth to character behaviorâ
I love when âThe Mummyâ fandom comes out to play. But itâs even better when the history side of tumblr is also in âThe Mummyâ fandom.
Every time this post comes around I am compelled to watch The Mummy again.
I want a Goonies/Stranger Things-esque story that reflects modern online friendship.
Like, instead of kids living in the same town fighting a monster, itâs a group of online friends from different parts of the world fighting a world-ending threat, like aliens or wait fuck thats homestuck nevermind
Self Improvement Masterpost
Time Management
Waking up earlier
Stop staying up all night
Wasting too much time on a certain website?
Top 10 Reasons for Lost Time
29 Time Wasting Activites
General Time Management Guide
Creating an effective schedule for your day
How to stop being late to things
Easy to prepare healthy recipes
Make time for your hobbies!!
Making School Suck Less
Prioritization
âŠwhat if everything is a priority?
Studying methods
Strategies for students with ADHD
Strategies for students with learning disabilities
AVOIDING BAD PROFESSORS
Dealing with difficult professors
Preparing for competitive exams
Quick and healthy snacks that are good for focus
Finding cheap textbooks
Relationships and Sex
How to tell if someone genuinely likes you
Why relationships fail
Putting yourself first when you need to
Eight differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships
Know the difference in protective and possesive
10 things to know before you start being sexually active
Maintaining a long lasting HEALTHY sex life
Considering a friends w/ benefits relationship? read this!
Money Management
Are you spending too much money on ____?
10 Tips on Saving Money
Steps to take in starting a budget
Mobile apps for budgeting!
Buying a car
Tips for buying a house
âŠand apartment
25 Wastes of money
Even savvy savers make these mistakes
Getting / Keeping a Job
Interviewing etiquette
Creating a resume
Starting your career before you start your career
Workplace etiquette
Shitty boss?
Waking up with a hangoverâŠ
Getting ahead in the workplace
Physical Health (Diet and Exercise)
General Menâs Health website
General Womenâs Health website
Gym Etiquette
Micro changes for macro results at the gym
7 foods to help trim belly fat
How many calories should you be consuming?
No gym? Try these at home work outs
Great diets for men
Great diets for women
Miscellaneous (Better youâŠ)
Stop forgetting things
Stop cursing
Keep your car stocked
Stop smoking
Deal with the police responsibly
Love yourself
Know when to shut up (This is from a Christian outlook btw but it would probably still help)
Stop talking shit about people
Let me know if any links stop working, even if this only helps one person in a small way it was worth the effort i put into finding good sources! - Keaton
Why is this so fucking funnyÂ
This is the best scene cut Iâve ever witnessed.
WHY?
Editing is such a powerful tool
I laughed so hard I was afraid Iâd start coughing blood
more in this great twitter thread by the co-creator of Night in the Woods
ron was going to be spiders. he just was.
We Are All Hagrid now
BITCH I WILL FUCKING CUT YOU
YOUâVE ANGERED THE WRONG FANDOM
Youâre going down punk, just you FUCKNG WAIT!! You will learn that this fandom is far worse than you will ever want to know. We may seem soft and shy, but weâre just being NICE! We can be cold, cruel, mean, and make you suffer and wish you had never said what you said. We can send you into the farthest most empty reaches of the galaxy, summon demons to our disposal to make you suffer, and make you feel the feelings that we experience, and donât fucking think for a single goddamn second thatâs easy! The amount of emotions that would boil inside of you would literally kill you. So keep your motherfucking distance and we wonât hurt you, so stay the hell back, asshole. If you so much as insult us one more time, we will bring firey hell upon you and bitch slap you into oblivion. Your move, dildo.
We know how to kill a human and hide the evidence. Your body will never be found, and that is a promise.
You do realize a majority of the fandom are 20 somethings right? or at least in college. We can find you, kill you, and make it look like you killed yourself. Donât try us :)
Shut up. We can exorcise a demon from you faster than Dean and Sam, believe me you need it. We can toss you into a supernova, never to be seen again, or banish you to the end of the universe where you would explode to create a new one. We can murder you and destroy all evidence of you ever existing. Basically- D-O-N-T-C-R-O-S-S-U-S
This is like finding a lost family heirloom youâve been hearing about
god, what a classic post
itâs sort of funny that the current cultural idea of the flapper dates not from the 1920s, but the 1950s when costume designers took the radical, gender-fluid, sexual, sexually liberated ideas and fashions of the 20s and made them sexy. as in sexual objectifying.
because 1950s and fuck female agency.
If you would like, I would love to hear more about this. What, exactly, happened, and what was the true 1920s aesthetic, untainted by 50s views?
hokay. so itâs the 1950s and itâs the heyday of the studio system and writers and movie makers (and audiences) want rom coms and frolicking films and lighthearted fun, but thereâs just one problem.
WWII
but that was the 1940s! you say
youâre right.
but in order to set a film in the 1950s, writers and film makers have to establish what the male lead character did during the war or risk it coming across like he didnât, well, serve. canât have a shirker or a coward and rejected for medical reasons really doesnât fly in the 1950s. and thereâs only so many times you can write about soldiers and sailors and airmen and the occasional spy before it starts to become stale. and it doesnât terribly fit with the fluffy writing because, well, war and death and tens of millions of people dead. contemporary films more fall in the line of what we now call film noir. men and women who have been damaged by war, but thatâs another topic.
sooooo, you do period pieces. no one wants to do the 1930s because thatâs the great depression. so 1920s. frolicking and gay and fabulous!
(Great War, what Great War?)
but the thing is, the 1920s, especially in Paris and Berlin, were a massively transgressive, reversal, and experimental time period in art, fashion, society, and all over. but only a little bit in america because honestly we were barely touched by wwi so itâs not like weâre partying to forget an entire generation of young men killed off and entire towns wiped off the face of the earth using weapons the likes of which had never been seen before. the us as a whole mostly heard about sarin gas, not see it poison entire landscapes and men and animals dropped to the ground and die in truly horrific ways.
the europe that emerged from wwi was massively shell shocked, angry, and living in a surreal dream of everything being upwards and backwards and live now because tomorrow you may die and itâs all nonsense anyway. itâs a world in which surrealism and dadaism and german expressionism make sense because fuck it all.
you get repudiation of the old, experimentation, deliberate reversals, transgressive behavior, and if thereâs an envelope to push, you tear it open. France calls the 1920s âAnnĂ©es follesâ, the crazy years.
the things weâre doing now, with fluidity and experimentation and exploration of gender and sexuality and presentation? the 1920s did that already. itâs drag and androgyny and blatant homosexuality. itâs extramarital affairs and sex before or without marriage, itâs rejection of marriage as an idea and an institution, itâs playing with gender and gender roles and working women and unrestrained art and
itâs everything the 1950s hated. or more accurately: absolutely terrified of. Â
the flappers of the 1920s went to college and cut their hair to repudiate a century of a womanâs hair being her crowning glory. they wore obvious makeup and makeup in ways that are not terribly appealing now and werenât terribly appealing then, but they signaled you were part of the tribe.
they were women who wanted independence and personal fulfillment.
âShe was conscious that the things she did were the things she had always wanted to do.â
so the 1950s didnât want that. they wanted films with dancing and chorus lines and pretty girls to be looked at. they wanted spaghetti straps and fringed dresses that moved pretty when the chorus girls danced.
1920s fringe doesnât. 1920s fringe is made of silk, incredibly dense, incredibly heavy, sewn on individually by hand, and rather delicate. the all-over fringe dress didnât exist until the 1950s invention of nylon and continuous loops that could be sewn on in costume workshops by the mile on machines.
(this is before âvintageâ exists. to the 1950s, the 1920s (or earlier) wasnât vintage, it was old-fashioned. dĂ©modĂ©. out of style. last last last last last season.)
1950s 1920s-set movies have clothes that are the 1950s take on it. the dresses have a dropped waist, but theyâre form-fitting, figure-revealing. the actresses are pretty clearly wearing bras and 50s girdles under them a lot of the time. theyâre not
the woman on the far left is basically wearing a manâs suit with a skirt. la garçonne. some women went full-out and wore pants. you could be arrested for that. they were. still wore pants. and pyjama ensembles in silk and loud prints.
or class photo of â25
or even
not that 1920s dresses could be sexy or sexual; they often were. iâve seen 20s dresses that were basically sideless and held together with straps. but itâs sort of like how the mini skirt went from being a thing of sexual liberation to an item of sexual objectification.
itâs ownership and itâs agency and itâs hard to put a name or finger on it, but you just know. sex goddess versus sex icon.
My Grandmother used to have to bind her chest to get the silhouette fashionably androgynous.
Like the Victorian period, the 1950s can be blamed for a great many of the problems in 21st century America.
(via ziggit_e)
basically, i think the general rule of thumb is: if someone REALLY wants the blood thatâs inside of your body, and theyâre like⊠a vampire, or a dracula, or some sort of mansquito, then thatâs probably okay. a dracula and a mansquito are made for removing things like blood and swords from inside your body. thatâs basically fine.
if something wants to get at your blood, and theyâre, say, some kind of murdersaurus, or maybe a really big frog, thatâs where the problems start to arise. a really frog is not made for removing blood, and your blood knows this, which is why it is so vehement about wanting to stay IN your body instead of coming out.Â
unfortunately this will not deter a really big frog, because a really big frog is full of things like prizes, and value, and quite a lot of hatred, and it would REALLY rather like to replace any and all of those things with your blood, and basically by any means possible.
These words scan with a fantastic degree of confidence considering that together they make no sense at all
Actor David Suchet was taught how to eat a mango in âpolite companyâ by Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh. On May 2 1990 Suchet was at a private lunch at Buckingham Palace, per the Queenâs invitation. It was his 44th Birthday. He discovered the Queen likes to invite people from all walks of life whom she finds interesting.
During lunch, Suchet was served a mango and suffering from an acute attack of nerves, he turned to Prince Philip, confessing he didnât have the slightest idea how to deal with the fruit. That provoked an enourmous laugh from Prince Philip, who replied immediately, âWell, let me show you,â and demonstrated what exactly one should do. Suchet was relieved he wasnât left floundering and was now able to eat the fruit in front of him.
Later that day he told the story to Brian Eastman, the producer of Agatha Christieâs Poirot, and asked him if they could include it in the episode they were soon to film, 3x09: The Theft of the Royal Ruby.
âWe sent a copy of the finished film to Buckingham Palace on DVD, and Iâm thrilled to say that it became the late Queen Motherâs favourite film. Indeed, whenever Iâve met the Duke of Edinburgh since that lunch, he always calls me âthe mango manâ.â - David Suchet, Poirot and Me
Dear Caretaker, Iâm having trouble motivating myself to write. None of my ideas seem good anymore just moments after I start trying to write them down. Please advise?
MOTIVATION IS A LIE IDEAS DO NOT HAVE WORTH WRITE WRITE WRITE UNTIL YOU BLEED
13 years ago today, Pepsiâs Super Bowl commercial starring BeyoncĂ©, BritneySpears, Pink & Enrique Iglesias was premiered. #PepsiGladiators
Damn these were simpler times
so lemme break this down
-lord caesar iglesias, who does not sing in this musical commercial, has captured britney spears, pink, and beyonce to battle it out gladiator style -our trio decides instead of fighting, they will instead rock so hard that the audience forgets about their battle to the death -their musical prowess is so damn powerful they rock the foundation of the earth and overthrow caesar iglesias along with his stash of ancient roman pepsi -beyonce, britney spears, and pink drink pepsi while the audience cheers -enrique iglesias is eaten by a lion
Kendall Jenner could never >_>
every animorphs book
chapter 1: my name is jake. I can't tell you my real name, because I'm the leader of a special group of kids... we're called the Animorphs. Because we morph into animals and fight aliens.
chapter 16: 'god, please don't do this,' i begged on my knees. Visser Three had all of my loved ones hanging from his claws in his multi-armed alien morph and was slowly squeezing the life out of them. 'you must either choose them, jake, or the rest of your planet.' i couldn't take it. i started to morph into a cockroach.
chapter 23: as i felt my own brain slither down my throat and into my torso to reform into my digestive system, my bones also began to dissolve into dust inside my skin. my eyes shrunk back into my skull and i could see into eternity- i could see my own mind, taken over by the yeerk. i had already taken my last breath as a free creature, now i saw my last vision as a being of this dimension. suddenly, i was gone. and my parents would never even know i had died. was saving the world worth this? i wondered, if anyone on this planet could be forced to prioritize one life over another, what choice would they make? how can any decision be right, or wrong? i closed my mind off, and fell into eternal sleep, my last echoes of thought being of how humanity continued to live on, but not truly alive.
chapter 26: 'hey, bro, wanna go to mc d's and grab some fries?' marco asked, riding by on his skateboard. 'yeah, that'd be totally radical!' i answered, whipping out my own razor scooter. as i pulled a nasty kickflip, i felt eyes watching me. turning around, i saw my own dog, and thought of the horrible truth only i knew. we went to the mall to get big macs. it was a good day to not be dead.
Did you ever think, âwhat if the #Teletubbies on TV are just captive juvenilesâ and wonder what the fully matured adults would look like?
No?
Well⊠too bad, I guess.
#cryptid #cryptids #tumblrposts
Iâd be remiss if I didnât link to the post this was inspired by
so not unrelated posts⊠which is⊠good i think