The Dark One's Acolyte

This is my personal blog, so it’s a smorgasbord of everything. A few of my favorite fandoms are: Star Wars; Once Upon A Time; Sword Art Online; Supernatural; WH40K (Alpha Legion and Dark Angels); Borgia; Welcome to Nightvale; Divergent; TFIOS; Paper Towns; The Mortal Instruments; and my hobbies include Lightsaber dueling, FIRE SPINNING, rock climbing, fencing, swing dancing, and making random movie references in conversations :)

[o-kurwa]

Coke + lighter gas

[h8edsalty]

[friendly-neighborhood-patriarch]

nyoooom

[loloftheday]

Let’s see you little punks smash my letterbox now

[aerylon]

This reminds me of this guy who used to live on my dad’s street.  

Every time it snowed, the snow plow would take out his mailbox - and only his mail box.  And just to be clear - it was done intentionally.  No one knows why, but the driver of the snow plow would target his box and mow it down.  He’d call the DOT to complain, and would get an earful of excuses that amounted to “not our fault you have a wimpy mailbox.”  

Fast forward to the next winter.  First decent snow starts falling, and every kid is hoping for a snow day.  It was right around 4:30 am that the whole neighborhood was woken up to this loud CLANG and the screech of tearing metal.  My dad made it to the window first and started laughing his ass off.

Sitting out side was one very totaled, and almost ripped in half, snow plow.  And these weren’t little pick-up trucks with a blade on the front, we have these up in NY:

Well, turns out over the summer, my dad’s neighbor got himself a backhoe and sank a steel I beam into the ground in his front yard.  Then he covered it with a decorative wood sleeve and topped it with a brand new mailbox.  When the snowplow driver tried to mow it down it was a bad case of immovable object meets unstoppable force - and the mailbox won.  With the plow firmly impaled on the I beam, it was very clear that the driver had gone out of his way to hit it.  

Naturally, the DOT wasn’t happy, and the neighbor’s reply was simple: “Not my faulty you have a wimpy snowplow.”  They did try to sue him for the damages, but as he had gone to the town, gotten approval for the post and its installation, and made sure everything was up to code, it was thrown out pretty quick.  

And for anyone wondering about the driver…  He was fine.  His job and tighty-whiteys … not so much.

[glyndarling]

That is a very satisfying read.

[millennial-review-deactivated20]

[seliphra]

FYI: THIS IS SUPER ILLEGAL

A landlord MAY NOT keep your deposit over ‘normal wear and tear’. They may ONLY collect on something that is YOUR FAULT. They cannot charge for carpet wearing down or needing a new coat of paint after a few years, or the furnace needing a replacement because it’s old. They can charge you for punching a hole in the wall that you never fix, or spilling paint on the carpet requiring a specialized cleaning or replacement. And they may ONLY keep what covers the repairs (If insufficient, then and only then may they keep the whole deposit, as in your deposit did not cover the damage you caused). 

KNOW YOUR RIGHTS AS A TENANT. You landlord MUST return your deposit unless it was damage you directly caused, and ONLY the amount needed to fix the damage, and not one penny more. 

[dankmemeuniversity]

[apathetic-revenant]

demon: YOU HAVE SUMMONED ME, MORTAL. WHAT DEAL DO YOU WISH TO STRIKE WITH THE POWERS OF HELL?

roomba: [is a roomba]

demon:

roomba:

demon:

roomba:

demon: man c’mon you gotta work with me here a little bit

[poppetawoppet]

roomba: *slowly spells on floor* K N I F E

demon: ahhhhh I see. You have heard the legend of Stabby.

roomba: *vibrates excitedly*

[shoyowo]

Hey remember when US and Russia was all like “We’re the best!!! We’ve won the space race!!!!” But India sent a kick-ass space probe to Mars and the whole mission was fuel efficient, costed less and a roaring success in the first try and then they were like “…..wait no that can’t be true” and still have the audacity to call us “underdeveloped” or only view us as a ‘third world country’? :)

For anyone who needs more info, the probe was called Mangalyaan (which literally means space probe vehicle) or Mars Orbiter Mission (MOM) and you can also get more information here and here

[shoyowo]

Remember when NYT mocked India for this very thing and an TOI (a major indian newspaper) responded with this? :)

They were being racist asf and we were till respectful literally fuck you if you think ‘third world counties’ can’t be better than you

[shoyowo]

white people can and should reblog this

[larissaloki]

Go India! First time I heard of this, the space media is always drowned out with the whole ‘who landed on the moon first?’ nonsense…

[sufficientlylargen]

For context, India was the first nation in history to get a probe orbiting Mars on their first attempt. 

[africanaquarian]

if you’re not vaccinated you should NOT be allowed to travel. period.

[africanaquarian]

it doesn’t make sense people are reintroducing countries to illnesses they haven’t experienced in years just because some affluent soccer moms think their stupid ass kid is gonna be the next einstein bc he’s never gotten a measles shot

[teaboot]

“But it’s my body!!!!” Yeah, and it can sit in quarantine as long as you like Karen, you walking smallpox blanket

[randomitemdrop]

Spell: Stylish Exit. Allows you to move a distance equivalent to twice your movement speed or less away from what your character would deem a ‘bad situation’ (what counts as moving away is up to the DM’s discretion), leaving a trail of neon pink outlines of yourself in your wake.

At higher levels: add an additional 10 feet to the maximum travel distance for every additional level.

[goregirlsdungeon]

[gruncheon]

me and the girls on spring break

[weavemama]

college can literally be free right fucking now as we speak but keeping young people out of loan debt isn’t a priority to the government.

let me repeat that because this information is infuriating.

college can literally be free right fucking now as we speak but keeping young people out of loan debt isn’t a priority to the government.

[weavemama]

to break it down in the simplest way possible: 

-the government needs roughly $62 billion to make all public colleges free. 

-that’s obviously a lot of money, but not to the government, knowing they’re going to spend $716 billion on nuclear weapons.

-the government has no interest in alleviating the college financial crsis – or any other economic related problems, because they don’t care. 

this country is sick. 

[drhanniballecter]

I relate to the phrase “chillin like a villain” because it shows that I’m calm but also ready to sin

[just-shower-thoughts]

Secretly stealing the can-opener from your friend’s doomsday bunker is the greatest practical joke of all time.

[cloverdaleforge]

Not all twists are created equal. Fussing over small details today. #manitobacraft #blacksmith #forged #customironwork (at Winnipeg, Manitoba) https://www.instagram.com/p/BucktFVBIK7/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=15dvhcrkskrss

[sixpenceee]

A playground next to an 18th century cemetery. (Source)

[kats-and-cats-and-flowers]

Imagine little ghost children coming over to play and some of them becoming best friends with living children. Is it just me, or is that the cutest thing?

[hangedwoman-deactivated20181220]

There’s a place like this across the street from where I used to live. It’s great.

[fumbletongue]

This is in Beverly Massachusetts. My house was across the street.

[catchymemes]

[anubianpagan]

I love him.

[vincent-van-gtg]

[fitnessdesire]

Can’t risk it

[laderdesders1]

The duck of creativity. I waited so long for it.

[lesbianshepard]

i want to raise hp lovecraft from the dead for a couple of hours and show him The Shape of Water because i think it would make him really mad

[hiboudeluxe]

that universal feeling of wanting to perform necromancy to raise hp lovecraft from his grave just to torture him with shit we know he’d hate is a big fucking mood

[prokopetz]

The thing I love about cats is that they’re basically born ready to throw down. There’s something strangely life-affirming about seeing a ball of fuzz that could fit in the palm of your hand with room to spare react to an unfamiliar creature literally a hundred times its size by going “I roll Intimidation”.

[batneko]

#the really life affirming part is that sometimes it works

[minoukatze]

[thestalkerbunny]

Cats will immediately let something bigger than them and obviously much more intimidating know that they’re not to be fucked with and I frequently aspire to be like that.