White Men and Black Women
Why are white men intimidated by black women? Are white men afraid of black women because of the inaccurate stereotypes that have been cemented into their heads since they were children? Do white men actually see the beauty and unique power that exist in so many black women, especially those who are confident in their ethnic identity and love who they are as black women? Do they see that the power of Jesus is on the side of every black women in this world of racial injustice?
We know that Jesus stands on behalf of the marginalized. He is the backbone of every black woman that accepts Him as Lord and Savior of her life. But, a white man of this world may not understand that what he sees is actually Jesus radiating through the black woman that he is intimidated by. Whether they know Jesus or not, many black women appear confident and powerful. When Jesus is a part of the equation, an unstoppable force is created. White men, however, though enjoying the racial and gender privileges present in their daily lives, are not as confident in their own identity. The confidence that you will see in a white man comes from the possessions he takes ownership of. A white man knows that he can walk in power because of his white privilege. Without this privilege, many white men do not carry themselves confidently because of their identity insecurities. Many of them only carry themselves confidently if they have a successful job, a big house, a nice car, is physically attractive, has a title of authority, or anything else that fits what our country says success is. Many black women carry themselves confidently regardless of whether they have the possessions or not. When put into a position where she feels free to be herself, a black woman will show a unique zeal, power, confidence, and beauty that white men will not see in mainstream white America. Though there are always exceptions, I believe this is the centerpiece to the intimidation that white men have of black women. This may also explain the negative dynamic that white men and black women have. A white man knows he has white privilege, and his intimidation of black women causes him to act on his privilege.
Maybe the answer to this question of negative dynamics is as simple as ignorance. Many white men know nothing about black women. The United States, a country where individuals are praised, and a place where white privilege is real, allows a white man to learn about himself and himself only. The world around him is made for him. He never has to learn about the struggles and injustices that are faced by a black woman every day. He only has to worry about one thing, himself. So, when he comes into contact with a black woman, he knows nothing about her. Perhaps this lack of knowledge scares the white man. The only thing he knows about her is what someone else, most likely the media, or another white person, has told him. Most likely, what he “knows” about black women, isn’t even true. The end result, naturally, is tension and conflict.
A conversation with Fulei Ngangmuta gave me insight to the negative dynamic between white men and black women. Fulei, a mentor for Mama Africana, is a black woman who has experienced this negative dynamic with white men on many occasions. She was born in Cameroon and spent much of her early life in New Jersey. She attended school in New Jersey from grade school through high school, though she was able to visit Cameroon often. Fulei can remember negative interactions with white men from when she was a young student in school. Her stories brought me to the conclusion that her white male teachers were determined to have power and authority over her, and it seemed they wanted the class to see it as well. There seemed to be no hesitation from the teachers to approach conflict with her in front of the entire class. I think the most frustrating instance that she was in was a confrontation that she had with a teacher over a math test that she had to complete. She took part of it during lunch period and was prepared to take the rest of it during class. However, the teacher told her that she couldn’t have the test back to finish, though she only had thirty minutes to finish it during lunch. After a back and forth confrontation, where Fulei continued to stress, through tears, the unfairness of the situation, the teacher told her she had to leave the room to calm down. She paced up and down the hallway in frustration. The teacher was giving her different rules than the rest of the class, having less time to finish a test, and though she tried to stand up for herself, the rest of the class remained silent behind her. She felt alone in her fight for herself, and all of the power was in the hand of the teacher. When she came back into the classroom, the teacher simply walked up to her and placed the test on her desk. The thing that makes me so frustrated about this situation is that the teacher humiliated Fulei in front of the whole class, only to give her the test back anyways. I wonder if he always planned on giving her the test back, even before the confrontation, or if he decided after he sent her out of the room that he had handled the situation incorrectly and wrongfully treated her. I feel that the first option is more plausible, given the other stories she shared with me. It seems that the situation with the test was simply an attempt by the teacher to show his power and authority over Fulei, and he wanted the whole class to see it as well. It seems as though he kept the test from her hoping to stir up her emotions and get a reaction from her that the whole class could witness, and then still rightly give her the test back. This way, Fulei would appear weak and stubborn, though she was the victim in the situation, and the teacher would appear to have done nothing wrong. After all, she got her test back didn’t she?
Fulei has also experienced this negative dynamic with white men in her adult years. The place that she has seen it most is in the work field. At one of her previous jobs, I feel it is safe to say that the very reason that Fulei was hired is what got her fired. She would also say the same. She was hired for the confidence, zeal, and strong willed personality that made her unique from many other applicants. Though she possessed these qualities and always completed her weekly work in a timely manner, her manager eventually began not to trust her. Fulei noticed a sudden change in his interactions with her after he had a meeting with his managers. What used to be an atmosphere where Fulei could talk to him anytime she wanted, soon became a place of tension and negative interaction with little space for conversation. It was as if her manager was suddenly intimidated by and afraid of Fulei’s presence. After this carried on for some time, Fulei was called into her manager’s office for a meeting. She could guess what the meeting was about before she got there, simply based off of the negative tension in the air with each interaction she had with her manager. She came into the office where she saw her managers, two white men. There was also another person in the room that she had never met before, a black woman. Her manager went on to explain that he was firing Fulei for poor performance. Though he said this, Fulei had actually been completing everything asked of her each week. Her performance wasn’t lacking in any way, and she knew the reason for being fired didn’t really have to do with her performance. Perhaps the reason her managers brought another black woman into the room for the meeting was because they expected a negative reaction from Fulei after they fired her. Fulei, however, remained silent, understanding that this was a fight not worth fighting, as they would find a way to use whatever she said against her.
There seemed to be a very deep ignorance from Fulei’s managers. They treated Fulei as if she was a lesser person than themselves. They saw her as someone to be feared and someone that was dangerous for the company, as if she could not be trusted or confronted. Something happened in her manager’s psyche that led him to put stereotypes on Fulei for everything that she did, instead of treating her as he did every other person. He never talked to her about it, he simply avoided her presence and eventually fired her.
Fulei explained to me that she has always been able to stand up for herself. She has no problem fighting against the injustices placed on her by others. However, she always has a choice to make; to speak up or remain silent. She realizes that in some situations, speaking up will only hurt her. She has to decipher each situation. She realized the position at her job was not worth fighting for. It was frustrating for me to hear the way she was treated. Unfortunately, it is no longer surprising to hear of this mistreatment. It was clear to me that Fulei’s manager was acting out of a place of ignorance. Someone told him to keep an eye out for Fulei. The conversation was probably along the lines of them telling him how you can’t trust or manage a black person with the personality that Fulei had, and that he had to avoid her and watch her every move carefully. Fulei had something valuable to offer her job. She was confident, zealous, and strong willed. This eventually intimidated her manager. The very reason that he was so intrigued by hiring Fulei in the first place, is what ultimately led him to fire her.
It seems that Fulei’s manager enjoyed having her as an employee in the beginning. They had conversations often, and she had qualities that were unique from other employees. He viewed her no differently than anyone else. The change came when he talked to others about her. It seems that he became intimidated by her because of what another white man told him and because of her strong personality. He forgot about the things that made Fulei a great employee and person, and made up his own image of who she was. This is the problem that I believe creates a negative dynamic between white men and black women all throughout our country. Ignorance, intimidation, need for power and control, and inaccurate stereotyping all factor into this negative dynamic. Fulei’s story shows how far we still have to go and why we have to continue to fight for racial reconciliation that is still very needed. It’s not an easy task, and not every person will be open to reconciliation. But if we don’t at least attempt to fight for justice, we might as well tell everyone that the actions of Fulei’s teacher and manager were justified, only supporting the privileges that white men have and denying the injustices that black women face. There's no middle ground, we either support one through silence or the other through action.
