according to kevan brighting’s fanfiction work about stanley i’ve required some really neat additional info about the two characters:
the narrator lives in a house and owns a shih tzu called Doris (he calls her a hound from hell) and threatened a trick or treater with it
gifted a child a power saw and told the boy to cut his sister in half because he’s a fricking sadist like that
“oh we mustn’t ignore safety regulations!” proceeds to give the boy a fricking safety goggle before sawing his sister in half to do a magic trick like david copperfield
had no clue what DOTA 2 is and tried to purchase “an idiot’s guide” to the game so he wouldn’t look like a fool in front of other devoted gamers
doesn’t know what the word “gank” means, and asked stanley about it
is fucking angry when stanley asked him if he was “a noob or a gosu” and asked stanley back if he had a death wish
thought the word “PWN” was pronounced as porn and stanley had concerned reactions to it
on the one millionth copy of the game, the narrator decided not to tell stanley about it and just sent him a check of $8 instead of a $427
and on the one year anniversary, the narrator thought it would be great to release an anniversary edition, which is the same box and game but with a little bit of dust on it
he made a little promotion video of stanley taped on a chair and him puffing that dust onto his face
prone to drinking alcohol (at least whenever he’s really tired)
thai food is his comfort food
once ate 20 kilograms of halloween candy all by himself and has a sugar rush for 2 whole days (he got stuck on the ceiling)
highly believes that real life is meaningless without his existence
is polite, very timid and clueless, he still has his wife and owns a pet cat
somehow has relations to famous celebrities (simon cowell, maggie smith, etc…)
there’s countless of stanley’s adventures around the world, but all of them ends up him being in trouble or accidentally get in trouble (or arrested)
like this one time he was so bored waiting for an interview and his phone battery was dead, he proceeds to ignore a warning on the only power outlet to charge it, and turns out he turned off the air traffic controller. chaos ensues as the flying planes are all placed in havoc
he stress eats sugary stuff and gets sad when his coworkers called him fat (though personally i think the narrator is just being mean to him)
like. every thread or story about him is wandering around a new place, gets in trouble for miscommunication and the narrator giving subtle hints that he’s an idiot and a failure
the narrator described him as “prone to accidents”
someone please help this man
once locked himself out and left the keys inside the house, he was going to go to the beach, dressed up in a speedo and snorkeling equipment, to find out that the weather was storming and cold
a police officer thought he was a lunatic trying to break into a house and stanley gets arrested
the narrator is really mad at stanley because of his actions that they didn’t win the BAFTA games awards
honestly i’ve been reading these tweets for the last 3 hours and i think the narrator is still bitter over the stanley and the parable after all these years
annaxmalina
snowghoul
discoholicmusic
jbbartram-illu
areudirty
stormborns
