☣ Mike ☣

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[schadenfreude--rose]

Y'all I'm sorry I just rb whatever the fuck I see like there is no theme here hope you're having fun

[mikehasfleas]

I hate landlords so much. I am seething with rage. I hate everything about the modern housing industry i can't think of a single thing about it that doesn't make me seethe

[mikehasfleas]

Man my art ideas get real weird when I forget to take my meds

[wyrmicelli]

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

[brainsanalysis-deactivated20210]

Hello please reblog this if you’re okay with people sending you random asks to get to know you better

[skarchomp]

the problem with voice acting these days is that nobody sounds properly fucked up anymore. every time they need someone to play a weird guy or a creature it's just some dude with a traditional handsome guy voice gargling a little. it's like trying to use a picrew to make an old person.

[butter-huhs]

Okay but what if i am 🍎 <- him

[mikehasfleas]

Im sorry but you will never be as 🍎 as pintrest user whiteboyteethy

[butter-huhs]

I am cringe but i am free

[mizuthe-dog]

There’s a gimmick blog right behind me with a gun to my head

[typo-spotter]

This post does not contain typos!

Of course, it is still incorrect, so how about I fix the error!

"There's a gimmick blog right behind me…"

Should be:

"There are gimmick blogs right behind me…"

[mizuthe-dog]

[unyieldingsilence]

‎

[ominous-signs]

Calling all gimmick blogs

[merrymorningofmay]

"omg i LOVE it when love between characters is so strong it overrides the boundaries of flesh and selfhood, merging them into some sort of (un)holy chimera" — person who's uncomfortable with the idea of permanently sharing a bedroom with someone else

[mikehasfleas]

Melancholically assembling a cherry blossom lego set

[just-sleep-yall]

we all need to stop killing ourselves

[aaronisntreal]

Hating trans men is transphobic even if you "hate all men". You wouldn't hate me if I wasnt trans, you wouldn't hate me if I was still a woman. My transition made you hate me. And that has a fucking name.

[sisterofiris]

Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.

Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.

[yay855]

I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I’d probably believe they were sick.

[rox-and-prose]

“Slutantions” has me crying laughing

[watermite]

i once emailed my professor with a migraine. a mistake.

“I amsick will not to choir because i have a heache. i Hope its very and i am so sorry

love,

blue”

the subject line was “OW”

[xakumi]

THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFJSJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN “OW”

[themodernsouthernpolytheist]

As someone who has taught college, please send those emails because 1) We WILL believe that; no one would write that on purpose and 2) we need a laugh sometimes.

[asortoflight]

On the other side of this, once after getting taken to the ER by ambulance, I got an email from the professor whose class I’d passed out in, and the message had no text, just the subject line “you good?”

[whisky-gerblin]

Reblogging for the last addition

[badgraph1csghost]

Claritin makes me weird, but I have allergies so there’s about a month and a half block of time where I’m taking Claritin and am just weird most of the time.

Anyway, my last year of college, I got the flu or something in late March and was also taking Mucinex. I told my professor I couldn’t come to class one day by email except I couldnt think of what to say, so my medicated ass decided to make a Fry meme. I think it said something like “Not sure if I can go to class with a head the size of Texas, bottom text.” I didn’t think until the next day that it probably wasn’t socially-acceptable to tell your philosophy professor you weren’t coming to class via Tumblr style memes. When i got back to class, i found that she’d printed it out and taped it to the classroom bulletin board.

[badgraph1csghost]

Oh shit you guys i turned on my WinXP laptop that I used to use back then.

IT WAS ON THE DESKTOP. THIS IS WHAT I SENT.

It’s even worse than i remember it

[omnicat]

I laugh myself hoarse every time this post comes around, so here it is again.

[bucketbunny]

Once emailed a professor from my hospital bed high on painkillers after a really bad car crash which my heart actually stopped the email “Dead cant class sory”

[sarumans]

i was very sick over new years and one day i woke up to find i had emailed my manager in the middle of the night:

she said it was the most beautiful sick email she’s ever gotten

[the-haiku-bot]

she said it was the

most beautiful sick email

she’s ever gotten

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[architeuthisducks-blog]

Me Giving a Pressed Conference: our advocacy for the disabled must include the addict, the imperfect victim, those we despise; the right to autonomy and life cannot devolve into a popularity contest

Reporter I Hate (Not Sexual Tension): Does that include all the attendees of the Bored Ape NFT event who went blind

Me: *Blood streaming from my nostrils and eyes* david, it includes everyone

[mythid-cryptid]

can't keep that in the tags

[the-compost-corner]

[Image description: tags from @/horodragon read, "#this is actually an extremely important thing to keep in mind in regards to being anti-death penalty and pro-prison reform #just because i personally think you're the scum of the earth doesn't mean my political stances suddenly shouldn't apply to you /end image description]

[what-even-is-thiss]

Must not pick that scab off. It will not in fact get rid of the scab and just create a different scab. The scab is not done cooking yet. I am completely normal about scabs. <-gripping the edges of his chair so tightly the wood is starting to crack

[idkwhattoputbroo]

they hate me cuz I'm based as fuck but I'm also really annoying