the (un)locked tomb

wren (like the bird) 𓅫 🐦 they/he. 30. canada. en+fr «you must look within yourself to save yourself from your other self; only then will your true self reveal itself.»

[sarumans]

Hello Mr Grant (oh, that was your father? okay, i will call you Research Jr!) i am humbly requesting funding for my studies.......on what? well, it's hard to sum up, but i think it could be described as simply "Fuck Around and Find Out"......oh. okay. a proposal? well, i wasn't expecting this, i mean we've only known each other for a few minutes.....but luckily, i have been wearing this ring around my neck for the past 7 years in hopes to find someone to give it to. actually i'm kind of glad, it's been getting pretty heavy ngl *pulls aside collar to reveal burns on my neck from the chain* i, uh, sorry, i'm just a little nervous......*kneels down and my bones let out harsh cracking noises* mr grant, i mean, research junior,...will you marry me??? *doesnt wait for an answer and slides the ring onto your finger* *you suddenly disappear* oh my?!!! good heavens??! *the nazgûl show up and kill us both*

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.

[carolofthebell]

The lack of punctuation initially led me to assume that “christ menstruation” was a new irreverent way to refer to the way some denominations take the sacrament of communion monthly instead of weekly like others.

I was ready for some scathing inter-denominational reads but then I hit the word “pregnant” and had to reevaluate.

[muffinlance]

But going back to OP @batmanisagatewaydrug : there are ways to give your period the boot semi-permanently and safely!

Research options and talk with your doctor, but I haven't had a period in years thanks to my hormonal IUD. My kind is literally prescribed for heavy/painful periods as well as birth control.

Viva la fuck that bodily shit revolution!

How Long Does It Usually Take for Mirena to Stop Your Periods?

Mirena is a prescription IUD that affects periods in different ways. Find out what to expect from your periods using Mirena and signs it is

TL;DR: 20% of people stop their periods completely. Everyone else has the joy of having them at least dialed the fuck down, because it literally works by thinning the lining that sheds during your period.

I plan on offering my daughter the option for one of these immediately upon it becoming possible, because why SHOULD she have a period for the majority of her lifespan just because Biology Says So. Naw man, if she wants to unsubscribe from monthly issues I'm 110% behind her.

Also! It reduces some types of uterine cancer!

GET AN IUD YOU'LL THANK YOURSELF LATER

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

jesus god. this post has breached containment so hard people are explaining birth control to me (sex educator). unprecedented.

[ravendognerd]

@batmanisagatewaydrug Can young children use IUDs? (Its been 20 years but) when my sister was young they just had her go on hormonal birth control to treat her heavy periods. I would assume there would be concerns with the child still growing and how an IUD would impact that?

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

IUDs are perfectly safe for young people to use, especially since it's a long-term form period management that doesn't require daily upkeep like hormonal birth control pills. they're also the most effective form of birth control anyone can be taking, which makes them a great safety tool for young people (or any people) who are having or are interested in having the kind of sex that could lead to pregnancy.

IUDs are a safe and suitable option for anyone menstruating, and have been approved and recommended for use by young people by organizations including the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology, and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (x).

What I Wish All Teens Knew About Long-Acting Birth Control

One ob-gyn shares how she talks with teens about IUDs and implants.

[thydungeongal]

So like. I've been on HRT for a bit more than six months now. And I feel despair.

Despair of sweet titties lmao.

[pidgefudge]

hello 👋 i am the worlds smallest bug 🐛 and ☝️ i too would like to “fag it up” if i may

[infectiouspiss]

you're mommy's good little printer aren't you? you'll print whatever mommy tells you to because otherwise mommy gets sad and leaves you for one of those free use library printer sluts

[infectiouspiss]

mommy needs you to print this document now and if you don't mommy is going to turn you off at the wall

[infectiouspiss]

listen to mommy okay? if you don't be a good little printer and fucking print my document and i know you want to okay mommy can see it in your print queue if you don't. print. my fucking document. mommy's going to get the hammer

[7andaswitch-blade]

A coyote cools off in the drink fridge at a Quiznos in the Chicago Loop, 2007

“It did not growl. It did not make any sounds. It just tried to get in. Apparently it was scared and tried to shelter itself,” said Ray Zavalas, Quiznos employee.

[pansyfemme]

close your eyes and imagine freshly roasted root vegetables perfectly seasoned and crispy as far as the eye can see

[nighttimepatrons]

Sam trying to get Frodo to take one more step

[nighttimepatrons]

Sam psychologically tormenting Gollum

[spiderpigx]

[str-ngeloop]

everything you see on tumblr is biased towards the perspectives of the types of people who post a lot on tumblr. this is essential to remember

[dogpuppy]

[sarumans]

hello and welcome if ur new here hi we're [redacted]

[sarumans]

god i should book myself a goddamn massage for when i land in [redacted] because ur benefits reset in 2 months take fucking advantage of it u fool!!!

[sarumans]

hey thanks that was a great idea actually thanks for remembering !!

need u remind you that we still have time to book one more before the month is over to use up the benefits :oooo

[sarumans]

chat help we're on the verge of an impossibly Big Decision

[bodyintheriver]

“She died. She can’t come back, even if you keep her stuffed away in a drawer you can’t look at. You’re not waiting for her resurrection; you’ve made yourself her mausoleum.”

[koldefingre]

Im so pissed that they never got to meet

[felysha]

Jonathan Joss was an Indigenous, gay man who was murdered on the first day of Pride month as well as Indigenous History Month. He died protecting his trans husband. Homophobia and racism aren’t marks of the past, and this is a heart breaking reminder of that.

Praying for a safe journey back to the spirit world, Uncle ❤️‍🩹🦅

[felysha]

Today is the anniversary of the death of Jonathan Joss (King of the Hill, Parks and Rec). Jonathan Joss was an Indigenous, gay man who died protecting his transgender husband, on the first day of Pride month. Today we remember him and how he protected his family.

[godlessondheimite]

In 2026, the chicest thing a gay actor can do is never explicitly come out as gay but also make it abundantly clear that he is. Coming out is too modern. Staying closeted is too old fashioned. But this method merges contemporary freedom with Old Hollywood glamour and allure, and it weeds out the dumbest people who truly don’t get it. I call it the Pascal Method.

[nobodys-odyssey]

Taylor Swift does this

[godlessondheimite]

no she doesn’t

[nobodys-odyssey]

You clearly don't go here or to queer history and signaling, or both, enough to have this conversation and I'm not going to explain it to you. You could have asked questions, you could have done even a modicum of research. You didn't and you made yourself look ignorant. Goodbye.

[dancinbutterfly]

#I'm fucking crying#this is an instant classic#this is the next meme#i can't believe I'm here to see a baby copypasta nary two hours old#I can't#lol#i laughed way too hard#iconic