[mgs5]

cats will be like please i need you to watch me wiggle around on this carpet please hey look look please look at me i’m wiggling

[milf-erasure]

commenting “gain weight” under skinny female celebrities’ posts to take direct action against the ozempicnation

[segamascott]

[milf-erasure]

so um. what are the symptoms of cyclosporiasis haha? haha what are they.

[wyrmicelli]

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

[snowown]

[we-rule-the-kingdom-inside]

boston fleet generational fumble for not promoting stefanie mckeough to head coach. like I'd be pissed getting passed over for an external man hire and move out west too lol. I'm just glad someone saw her potential

[1dietcokeinacan]

I will know if Andrew Tate is ever within a one mile radius of me bc when it happens a fully loaded gun will materialize in my hand and I’ll suddenly and inexplicably gain the ability to fire it with sharpshooter level accuracy and will also be imbued w an in depth understanding of human anatomy vis a vis where to inflict maximum trauma to guarantee mortality but prolong suffering. And before I can even register what is happening I will take off running full speed in the exact direction of his location

[we-rule-the-kingdom-inside]

powerful young defender joce larocque never stop posting about trans rights and palestine and indigenous rights ofc literallyyyyyy nobody else in the pwhl is doing it like her

[milf-erasure]

i actually need a girl to sit on my ass and massage my upper back so bad. please. i’ll do whatever you wantttttt

[grl-supremacy]

Amy Love of Nova Twins on NPR Tiny Desk

[thevoiceofn0thing]

"The world cup shows what world peace would look like" and it's just rows of men upon men upon men upon men drinking with men laughing with men partying with men liberated with men and domestic abuse hotlines will spike tonight

[fuckrozanov]

goodmorning this is your assigned shane of the day

[milf-erasure]

being a repressed lesbian is so awesome i could get off to the thought of opening a girl’s car door for her

[milf-erasure]

[northernlion voice] i’m working on a new bit. guy who only uhhhhh who only jerks off to georgia okeefe paintings. stroking a different kind of stamen. is that anything?

[milf-erasure]

wait wait. lesbian who only jerks off to georgia okeefe paintings. she said i’m stroking my flower to her flower strokes. Is that anything?

[milf-erasure]

[northernlion voice] i’m working on a new bit. guy who only uhhhhh who only jerks off to georgia okeefe paintings. stroking a different kind of stamen. is that anything?

[mesz]

[release-the-sheep]

just witnessed something devastating

guy on the subway with one ear pierced, little gold hoop. other guy on the subway very quickly and subtly googling "which one is the gay ear". it is not the gay ear. visible disappointment on his face as he puts his phone away.