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The idea of Mario and Peach having any kind of relationship beyond the occasional kiss on the nose and "mama mia" is like viscerally incomprehensible to me

Not like in a prude way I just can't conceive of Mario experiencing... urges. He's a character outside the scope of that. I'm not saying he's asexual either cause positioning him on the allo/ace spectrum implies that it's a dimension of his character that at least exists, that he has at some point noticed it. I think he just jumps.

tpwrtrmnky

Luigi probably fucks though.

corvus-nox

Oh.

aureate-melodies

Rose: so are you gay?

Shane, who has been fucking a man for nearly a decade and didn’t even know that was an option: I mean I guess

hudconuinely

So endeared and amused by the way Ilya moves his hand from Shane's ass to his waist when he sees David in the house. Man really locks eyes with his future in-law and doesn't startle or jump back with his hands in the air or anything but instead is just like why yes I do have my hands on your son and I will continue to have my hands on your son at all times whenever possible I know he's about to need me in this moment and I am ready and holding onto him and not going anywhere

....however I will move my hand to a more respectable location on said son

argillaforma

shane: haha you played bad today mr hunter

scott: your breath smells like russian dick, whore

sosaneitsinsane

fall in love again and again...

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ossyostnip

chicken believes she is a duck

feltforever

we see a lot of how the people around shane really egg on the hollanov rivalry, whether it’s his teammates or his mom or the media, but we rarely ever see this with ilya. there is one instance when he is on the phone with his dad, who says, “you will not lose to him” so we know that it’s happening but to ilya, the rivalry is completely inconsequential. shane, on the other hand, internalizes everyone’s expectations of him and it’s as if so much of his career and his reputation revolves around their rivalry, which is why he knows he has so much to lose if they’re found out.

feltforever

i have a headcanon that shane has a very prominent queer fanbase wayyy before coming out. he’s got a speedo sponsorship and he’s an underwear model, the gays are frothing over him constantly. he’s relatively unaware of this cause he’s not on social media but at some point he hears someone refer to him as a gay icon and he nearly has a panic attack.

post skip ice kiss, people are revisiting the infamous shane/scott fight and a rumor starts that him and scott used to be an item. ilya thinks its hilarious and teasingly asks if he fucked scott hunter, which leads to shane explaining why they actually fought, which only makes ilya happier.

scunthotter

I do like to imagine Shane going 'I can do casual sex, ive been having casual sex for a long time.' Then getting some hook up, having casual sex and going 'what the fuck was that????' Because its not intensely romantic undernegotiated kink sex with his partner of nearly a decade. He like hooks up with a handful of guys that he just thinks are bad at sex and comes to the conclusion that Ilya must just be a god at sex, when really the other people ilya is hooking up with are not getting the Shane treatment, its just the two of them being freaks for each other.