caleb considers himself a pretty worldly guy. but when he comes home after a long day at work to find you in a ring of junk food, he can’t really recognize the ritual. to his knowledge, no cultural practices are based on chocolate-covered cookie dough bites.
you sit at the center of an impressive grocery haul: 4 types of candy, 3 sodas, a couple boxes from the bakery…and those are only the things he can identify off the bat. a low whistle announces his return.
“i know you wouldn’t be caught dead with half of this stuff, so please don’t judge me,” you grumble, burying yourself deeper in your oversized hoodie. “i’m not gonna eat it all at once, anyway.”
“i hear you. looks like your average decompression session. sooo…” he approaches slowly and takes his colonel cap off, setting it gently on the kitchen counter. “bad day, huh?”
“work was awful. i had meetings for five hours, and i still have a headache even though i was spacing out the whole time! why do people freaking talk that much?” you gesture wildly, gnawing on the second half of a chocolate bar. “there’s not that much to freaking talk about. you're sitting in the same room for hours and the lights are too bright and you’re talking in circles like any of this actually matters. i mean, do none of these people want to enjoy their lives?” you rip open a pack of gummy worms, choose your first victim, and chew angrily. with enough imagination, it's like your teeth are crushing the bones of capitalism. “and i had to wake up so freaking early!”
caleb nods. “that does sound—”
“and—”
oh. he thought your silence meant you were done with your rant, but you were just catching your breath for a sec. his mistake.
“it’s a billion freaking degrees and i can’t go outside without getting mad. i bought all this stuff to make me feel better, but i had to crawl through the desert to get it.” you hunker down and press your fists to your cheeks, frowning as your head sinks down a little. he would never wish this kind of stress on you, but he can't deny how cute you look.
“if it helps, my day sucked, too.” he peels off his gloves and sits beside you on the rug, not even bothering with the rest of his uniform.
“oh, yeah?” you challenge, frown deepening from skepticism. “how?”
“well, first, i had to wake up. left you all cold and lonely in bed—that was awful. then i had to clock in at the fleet. that level of torture is pretty self-explanatory.”
“that’s a normal bad day for you,” you huff. “mine was super bad.”
chuckling, he scoots closer and lifts your fists from your cheekbones. your skin seems to thank him as it slowly reclaims its shape. “would a super-cute girl who had a super-bad day care to pass me a soda? of course, i suffer nowhere near as much as you do…”
you sniffle and nod, and he cracks a grin.
“but i could use a little pick-me-up, too,” he continues, grabbing a handful of gummy worms. “we tag-team everything else in life. a little stress-induced sugar rush is no different.”
lads boys 🍎 ⛄ ⭐ 🐦⬛ 🐠 🐺: react to the "isapod wants...." trend
warnings: fem reader! suggestive content! swearing!
ꨄ︎ lads masterlist ꨄ︎
chuu's note: this was a pain to make but i hope its ok TT
Caleb
Zayne
Xavier
Sylus
Rafayel
Valko
chuu's note: xavis one lowk something I did when I was interstate... I would bother my friend who was the floor beneath cos I didnt have enough bread lol (we usually got 1 loaf and split it bw each other cos we were saving money)
Hey guys! Hope you enjoy lol writing these make me feel better after long hours at work. I want to make a few fluffy lighthearted ones but im stumped on topics! If you have any requests feel free to let me know haha.
HIIII rushed here the moment I saw asks are open akdbajsj
I love love love chivalrous MCs. I love badass women doing badassery. Can you make a smau about mc taking hit(s) for them mid battle, shrugging it off and immediately moving back on track like it's second nature. I keep taking hits for Zayne in combat because I never get hit myself akdnajsj
THANK YOUUU I LOVE YOU! have a great day!
- 💜 anon (the same anon that tells you when you miss out the smau tag)
𝘐 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 (𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘨𝘰) | LADS + when you take a hit for them
warnings: angst (zayne and caleb), I made zayne and caleb's longer and angstier because I think they'd genuinely try and kts if you took a hit for them in battle, double posts woah, chip-related injury (caleb), talk of heads being ripped off (sylus), scar mention (xavier), btw sylus also laughed out of fear not just joy he's just trying not to make you worry
Hey 👋 i was hoping I could leave a request here about something that happened to me a while back.
I was cleaning out my closet and my fiend was there helping me and she found one of my dresses, but she accidentally put it in the shirt pile so I was like "Babes thats a dress" and she was so confused 😂. She thought it was a tube top it was the funniest thing ever. And this happened more than once actually so it was funny (I have a wide collection 😅) I was wondering if I could request a similar situation withe the lads men? Thank you again 💓
warnings: valko's and sylus's are a teeny tiny suggestive but all fluff
a/n: that's so funny and as a fashion girly i love this i am always going through my stuff every season!
xavier
☆ he's the type to walk into your closet, stare at the overflowing racks for a solid thirty seconds, then quietly ask, "do you actually wear all of these?"
☆ every answer from you about your clothes just creates another question — "why do these jeans already have holes in them?"
☆ thinks fashion sizing is a scam — "how is this shirt both extra small...and oversized?"
☆ finds an old movie ticket in one of your jacket pockets and suddenly you're both sitting on the floor talking about that day instead of cleaning.
☆ gets mesmerized by how differently fabrics feel.
☆ accidentally becomes really good at finding lost jewelry or money even because he notices tiny shiny things tucked into pockets.
☆ if you try something on to see if you still like it, he becomes your accidental hype man.
"you look pretty."
"i'm asking if the pants fit."
"they do...and you look pretty."
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"wait...that's not a shirt?" (word count: 173)
he's genuinely trying his best. unfortunately, fashion is an incomprehensible puzzle to him.
he pulls out a silky camisole and says with at least some confidence, "this is a dress."
you blink dumbfounded, "xavier."
he looks between you and the fabric, "it... isn't?"
"it's a tank top."
"oh." then proceeds to put it in the dress pile anyway.
five minutes later—"what about this one?"
"that's a skirt."
"i thought it was a scarf."
"how could that possibly be a—you know what nevermind."
he eventually gives up trying to identify clothing and instead becomes your designated hanger-holder.
he'll quietly stand there with an armful of empty hangers while you sort everything.
the only thing he's confident about is comfort and he finds himself in front of the sweater and hoodie section of your closet in no time.
"this sweater is soft. you should keep it"
"i haven't worn it in six years."
"but it's soft..."
and now he's sitting in the closet wearing your oversized hoodie while you do all the work.
zayne
☆ is the type to notice your closet problems before you even mention them — the overcrowded drawers. the clothes you keep moving around but never wear.
☆ he pays attention to what you reach for most. not just what you say you like but what you actually wear.
☆ insists on emptying the entire closet first saying, "it will be more efficient if you can see everything you are working with." it absolutely does not feel efficient when your bedroom disappears under a mountain of clothes.
☆ refuses to create a "maybe" pile because "that's just delaying the decision." you secretly make one anyway when he isn't looking.
☆ reads every care tag extremely carefully.
"this should never have gone in the dryer."
"you can tell?"
☆ if he notices you've bought five nearly identical sweaters...he lines them up and makes you explain.
☆ if an item no longer fits and you're hard on yourself, he'll stop you immediately and tell you how beautiful you are.
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"the closet surgeon" (word count: 135)
before you've even started, he's somehow produced labels. KEEP. DONATE. SELL. ALTER. SEASONAL STORAGE.
he folds every item with impossible precision. sweaters stacked by thickness. shirts organized by sleeve length. everything color coded from white to black with gradients in between.
you wander away halfway through.
he doesn't even look up, "where are you going?"
"i wanted a snack."
"you may have one after this pile."
"you're serious?"
"we're almost finished."
"we've been doing this for two hours." you whine
"and we're almost finished."
somehow that sounds reasonable when he says it.
when you start reminiscing over an old concert shirt—
"oh, i wore this when—"
"decision."
"but—"
"keep or donate."
"you're ruthless."
"i'm efficient."
by the end your closet looks like a luxury boutique. you don't know whether to thank him or salute him.
rafayel
☆ rafayel does not believe clothes are just clothes. he believes they're an extension of who you are.
☆ he can tell your mood based on what you wear.
☆ talks to your clothes like they're people — "you've had a good run."
☆ wants to know the story behind every unique piece. vintage finds? handmade jewelry? limited edition sneakers? he's fascinated.
☆ gets offended if you own something expensive that you never wear — "you spent how much for it to live in darkness?"
☆ he is ironically the one telling you not to impulse buy. while also being the reason you own a jacket that costs more than your entire old wardrobe.
☆ while you are sorting through things he is already on his phone adding new things to a pinterest board specifically curated for you or in a shopping cart.
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"the fashion police" (word count: 133)
"this." he holds up a blouse between two fingers. "criminal."
"what?"
"it does absolutely nothing for you."
every single piece gets a full critique.
"the silhouette is outdated."
"the fabric pills."
"this color washes you out."
"this neckline was a mistake."
you start to feel a bit offended, "you've insulted everything i own."
"i'm saving you."
he starts building outfits instead.
"no, wait." he grabs three random pieces. "wear these together."
"that actually looks cute. why have i never thought of that before?"
"you just needed an artist's touch"
"this cardigan though..." he stares, "burn it."
"but raf...that one is yours."
by the end you've donated half your wardrobe...and somehow added a shopping list twice as long. and rafayel has also made an appointment for you both to get color analysis.
sylus
☆ he already had a habit of casually replacing things before you realize he's done it.
☆ doesn't really understand sentimental attachment until you start telling him the stories behind certain pieces. then he quietly listens and starts to think about it like how he likes to collect certain items.
☆ can immediately tell what's well-made and what's cheaply constructed. wants your wardrobe to be practical and luxurious.
☆ secretly enjoys dressing you up because he likes seeing all the different versions of you.
☆ he believes everyone needs one outfit that makes them feel untouchable.
☆ gets oddly competitive with storage solutions and suddenly every drawer has more space than should be physically possible.
──────────────────────────────
"let's just replace everything." (word count: 154)
he walks into your closet. takes a brief look around, raises one eyebrow and says
"or...we donate all of it."
"sylus no!" you already know what he is suggesting before he even continues
"i'll buy you a new wardrobe."
"nope absolutely not."
"it'll be faster. and trust me kitten i can think of way better usage of our time."
he smirks at you and yet you still refuse.
he sighs dramatically, "fine."
ten minutes later...he's surprisingly invested.
"no." he snatches a sweater out of the donate pile, "this one stays."
"you literally wanted to replace everything."
"i've changed my mind."
soon he's making executive decisions.
"this coat stays."
"this dress goes."
eventually he's kneeling on the floor surrounded by folded clothes like this was his lifelong calling.
"you know we should do mine next."
"you want to clean your closet?"
"i suddenly have some opinions. plus the twins could always use them."
caleb
☆ caleb knows your wardrobe almost as well as you do. not because he's organized...because he's always paying attention.
☆ he has an absurd memory for your preferences — the colors you gravitate toward. the fabrics you hate. the cuts you always return. the things you try on but never buy because you convince yourself you don't need them.
☆ he is by far the biggest enabler when it comes to keeping things.
☆ keeps teasing you about old fashion choices even though he definitely partook in some of his own.
☆ offers to carry donation bags because he knows you'll overfill them. also so he can sneak things back out of them.
☆ suggests you go buy at least 3 couple outfits to make up for the sentimental items you may have gotten rid of.
──────────────────────────────
"the overly sentimental one" (word count: 137)
you pull out an old hoodie from the back of your closet, "donate?"
his head immediately snaps up, "no!"
"why?"
"you wore that on our first date."
"you remember that?"
"you spilled hot chocolate on the sleeve."
every single sentimental item becomes a story.
"the yellow sweater?"
"you wore it when we went to the amusement park."
"what about this dress?"
"our first kiss."
"these pajamas?"
"you had the flu and refused to let me leave."
by the end...you're the one saying,
"caleb... maybe we can donate some of these. you haven't let me get rid of anything."
"they're memories."
"we have photos."
"physical mementos are important too"
eventually you give in and find some way to preserve the absolute most important pieces. which still ends up being a pretty big pile.
he smiles, "worth it."
valko
☆ thinks humans own an absurd amount of clothing — "how many skins do you need?"
☆ if you ask how something looks his answers are hilariously unhelpful and extremely straightforward.
☆ has very strong opinions about anything he thinks doesn't protect you — too thin. too uncomfortable. too impractical.
☆ his first instinct is still, "get rid of anything you don't love." his second instinct is, "replace it with something better." and valko has the money to provide that for you if you wish.
☆ eventually forgets he's helping and starts absentmindedly making a nest out of the soft blankets and sweaters.
☆ every time he smells something that reminds him of you, he quietly moves it back into the keep pile.
──────────────────────────────
"a wolf's instinct" (word count: 218)
he doesn't understand why you're making this so complicated. he picks up one of your sweaters. sniffs it.
"keep."
"excuse me?"
"it smells the most like you."
you stand there dumbfounded.
he picks up another shirt. sniff.
"donate."
"you're deciding based on smell?"
"obviously."
"you can't—"
"i just did."
he looks deeply offended that you're questioning his incredibly scientific system. halfway through he notices a tiny miniskirt. absolutely not.
"too short."
"i just bought it. i'm keeping it."
"fine but you wear it only for me."
"you don't get to decide that."
"try me."
he says giving you a little snarl showing his fangs although he knows exactly how ridiculous he's being.
once he realizes just how long this is taking he has a brilliant idea.
"you could stop buying clothes and just wear mine."
"but they're huge."
"exactly. you will get wrapped up in my scent."
"and when those are dirty?"
he looks you up and down with entirely too much amusement.
"then wear nothing."
you throw a shirt at his face in an attempt to shut him up but he catches it without looking.
"worth asking."
in the end he helps you start to sort based on "instict".
— in which you survey terrorize your husband by asking how much he'd rate your marriage
ft: all 6 LIs x reader
content: fluff. raf's is kiiinda suggestive. xav and valko are sweethearts, zayne and sylus are menaces, caleb pulls an uno reverse. random mcdonalds mention?
notes: 10th post! this is crazy, tysm for all the love <3
sum. pranking the lads men by telling then you need space/a break from this relationship.
notes. based on a suggestion from a lovely anon, so thank you!! again not very proud of this one (i was half asleep making it idfk how i thought of this) anyway, no warnings, slight hurt to comfort bcs of the prank!!
