Come on in, it's your own funeral.

[ampervadasz]

[garbage-empress]

she who controls the frogs controls it all

[jtated-deactivated20180729]

At first I was like hmmmmmm but THEN

[squidbroom]

the floor is being bi

[reptisketch-deactivated20171107]

[probablykyloren]

Visit Original Link

Ms. Fleming’s suicide assembly, with a band…

(Changed to Shine a Light in NYC)

[tastefullyoffensive]

[pr1nceshawn]

Tips That Can Save Your Kid’s Life.

[hiddlesherethereeverywhere]

THIS IS IMPORTANT 

When I was a child, from the time I was about four and could understand things, my mom told me and my brother that we should have a secret word. That way, if we were ever in trouble or felt unsafe and we didn’t want the people around us to know we needed her to come get us, we could let her know. So she let us pick the word and my brother and I chose the phrase “peanut butter cups.” (I’m happy to share the phrase now since both my brother and I are adults now). 

I used the phrase twice in my life. Once, I was at a friends house when I eight years old. Her dad got really drunk and was throwing things against the wall. I was really scared and I didn’t want to draw attention to myself on the phone when I called my mom to come get me because I didn’t know if he would get more violent if I asked her to come get me. So I called her and was calm and after a couple minutes I asked “Hey mommy, did you get me those peanut butter cups from the store?” And she said “I’ll be right there.” And she came and got me within minutes. 

Second, I was a teenager spending the night at a friends house. Her brother and dad were drinking and they started talking about things that made me uncomfortable - ie: what they liked to do to women. My friend didn’t seem perturbed and said that was normal for them and that I shouldn’t worry. But I was worried because they were really drunk and I was 15 and the only ‘woman’ around that wasn’t related to them. I went in my friends room, told her I needed to call my mom and say goodnight. Before I hung up with her I asked “Next time we go to the store, can we get some peanut butters cups? I’ve been craving them.” And she came and got me, just like that. 

Two incidents, one as a young child, one years later as a teen. Don’t discredit this stuff, it fucking works. My brother used it a few times too. Let your child pick the word and no never, ever, ever, ever get mad at them for using it no matter what it is. 

[titenoute]

DO NOT SCROLL PAST THAT.

[afrorevolution]

[saathiray]

I don’t even care that I already reblogged this because seriously, how is this not a masterpiece painting hanging in the Smithsonian? Everything about this photo just says Romanticism to me

[thatsthat24]

These two exist in our actual world, why are epic sagas not being written about them. I would read them ALL.

[strawberryshortcakekitten-deact]

Things my brother has said to me since I’ve come out

Bro: You can’t say you’re pan if you’ve only dated cis-boys Jess..

Me: Then you can’t say you’re straight since you’ve never had a girlfriend

Bro: touche…

____________________________________________________________

Bro: so you like girls?

Me: yep

Bro: so youre gonna get a girlfriend?

Me: maybe

Bro: NOW I GOTTA COMPETE AGAINST YOU TOO?? 

____________________________________________________________

Bro: wanna bet on who kisses a girl first?

Me: sure… $10?

Bro: okay

Me: sweet…cough up the money because i already kissed three

Bro: WHAT?? WHO?? you whore…No but seriously who because we only have like 2 lesbians in our school….

____________________________________________________________

Bro: I SWEAR TO GOD IF I HEAR ONE MORE PUN ABOUT YOU AND KITCHENWEAR IM KILLING YOU

____________________________________________________________

Brothers friend: so your sister is pan?

Bro: yeah?

Friend: what’s that?

Bro: basically she’ll date anyone

Friend: think she’ll date me?

Bro: ew no, dude she has standered still..

____________________________________________________________

Bro: so…how was narnia?

____________________________________________________________

Mother: i dont want you going to (insert friend)’s house because you’re pan and they are too

Bro: shes 18 mom AND you had no problem with it before jess was out

Mother: yeah but-

Bro: and they’re both girls so its not like even if something DID happen she wouldn’t get pregnant or anything

Mother: yeah but-

Bro: just let her hang out with the one friend she still has

____________________________________________________________

Bro: *is complaning about something* Thats so ga- OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY IT SLIPPED

____________________________________________________________

Bro: *shows me a picture of a girl* do you think shes hot?

Me: ew no

Bro: I AM TRYING TO GET YOU A GIRLFRIEND STOP BEING PICKY WOMAN WE LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE THERE ARENT THAT MANY OPTIONS 

____________________________________________________________

Me: *is complaining to my brother about this dude on campus* -anyways hes so not my type

Mother: but youre pan and ‘youre attracted to everyone regardless of gender’ so you dont have a type

Bro: thats like saying because i’m straight i like every girl mom…she can be pan and have types you limp lettuce

____________________________________________________________

Bro: do you think grandma will freak out when she finds out you’re queer?

Me: hopefully

Bro: sweet…..can i tell her??

Me: no?

Bro: dammit…

____________________________________________________________

Bro: *is playing COD online in his room* Guys seriously stop saying the F slur

Bro: Seriously i dont care about your kill streak, i will shoot you

Bro: NO SCOPE! I warned you!

____________________________________________________________

Bro: you know what my favorite part of you being pan is?

Me: what?

Bro: you’re no longer grandmas favorite…now i get all the money/food

____________________________________________________________

Bro: aw fuck

Me: what?

Bro: what if you get a girlfriend one day and she breaks your heart? i can’t punch a girl! 

Me: no thats okay-

Bro: HOW WILL I DEFEND YOUR HONOR???

[technicallythearical]

This is so sweet actually

[guy]

i just made bird noises

[supleena]

AWWWWW I WANT A BROTHER LIKE THIS HES SO CUTE

not-so-friendly reminder to unfollow me if:

u think autism is a disease or illness

u think autism needs to be “cured”

u support Autism Speaks or organizations like it

u “feel bad” for ppl with autism and their families

u think autistic children are a burden to their parents/guardians 

u don’t believe in getting children vaccinated because vaccines “cause autism”

[summoningspark]

allistic people reblogging this makes me happy

[crazydiamonds]

[just-a-trans-nerd]

There are so many things about this vine that fucking kill me

-The suspenseful showdown music you hear in movies -The fact that they so obviously stuffed something huge into their shirts to imitate breasts -The second kid urgently slapping his hands together while talking -The sunglasses -The fact that this all started over “hanging out with Kaitlin yesterday” -Rebecca pulling out the fucking toy gun -“I won’t hesitate, bitch.”

[beachdeath]

we haven’t even covered: 

-the camera slow-zooming in and out on rebecca’s face -to great effect for the surprise gun reveal -rebecca’s eyebrows going up as she utters the first consonant of “bitch” -rebecca’s voice dropping an octave on “bitch” -the inflection and the little head shake on “hesitate” -the BELIEVE THE HYPE t-shirt -i’ve seriously watched this vine… hundreds of times

[photosbyjaye]

Beyond the obvious beauty and grace of our First Lady, one must consider the historic importance of this photo. Our history books sweep under the rug the fact that the White House was built by African American slaves. For the next 150 years the majority of the serving staff of the so called “people’s house” were African American. In 1901 Booker T. Washington was the first African American to be received there as a guest by Theodore Roosevelt, to the horror of Washington society. They are all at last vindicated in our first African American first family. Note…It is my humble opinion that no matter what family should occupy the White House after January 2017, and the following generations for that matter, they will never equal the style, debonair, and class as that of the Obamas. 

[misstechnicality]

Let's see if I can get this right...

Heterosexual: Fuck that.

Homosexual: Fuck this.

Bisexual: Fuck you and also you.

Pansexual: Fuck everything.

Demisexual: Fuck you in particular.

Asexual: Fuck no.

[cliches-and-coffee]

If you’re in the kurtbastian fandom, you’re one of three groups:

Sebastian’s parents are the nicest people ever.

Sebastian’s parents just leave him alone to do whatever because they’re too busy.

Sebastian’s parents are horrible, awful people who deserve to die.

[sjwromanroy]

Hamilton Go:

go outside start a new nation meet your son

[grrrenadine]

The world has no place in our bed.

One of my favorite lines from the show.

[larvitarr]

this is so cute!

[queenbean03-deactivated20180909]

Time to make history indeed! First married gay couple on a Nickelodeon cartoon!

[busterposeys]

at what point in history do you think americans stopped having british accents

[libby-on-the-label]

[lesbian-state-of-mind]

Actually, Americans still have the original British accent. We kept it over time and Britain didn’t. What we currently coin as a British accent developed in England during the 19th century among the upper class as a symbol of status. Historians often claim that Shakespeare sounds better in an American accent.

[tyleroakley]

[fanboyingoverdemigods]

whAT THE FUCK

[nopeabsolutelynot-deactivated20]

I’m too tired for this

[nethilia]

Always add in the video that according to linguists, Native southern drawl is a slowed down British.

T’ be or not t’be, y’all.

[sogayitwrites]

Fun fact: Same thing happened with the French accent. French Canadians still have the original French accent from the 15th century.

Êt’e ou n’pô zêt’e, vous z’auts.

[monticellomarshmallow]

I’ve been trying to find this post for months. I’m freakishly obsessed with this and want the truth of what early colonists sounded like.