often i am upset @miwii - Tumblr Blog

Translation: Person behind camera; *knock down one card* “Go.” Other person;“Is your character mentally stable?” Person behind Camera; *Looks at card* “Yes” Other person; *Slaps down all but one card* “IT’S MOMO”

sighinastorm

I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS FOR MONTHS AND MONTHS. THERE WERE ONLY A FEW DOZEN NOTES WHEN I SAW IT LAST.

hollowbon3s

yr locked in a room alone with three adult men but you feel perfectly safe. who are they

cherrystrawberrie

malesexualizer

cowgirlmilkers

this came to me in a dream

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

have decided to sell out my dreams!

for the bargain price $4.20 you can purchase the Clown Dream I had last night!

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

Ok so in the dream I was a purveyor of clown meat. basically i ran a delicatessen that sold assorted deli meats but in particular i sold clown meat, which was somehow both a specialty item and a dietary staple. like it was a really culturally important food group.

the thing about owning & operating a clown meat deli is that for some reason i was required to hunt the clowns myself, which required a hunting permit.

Keep reading

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

right so as i recall, my lawyer only took me on as a client to begin with bc, upon my arrest, i had made the most astonishingly controversial claim, upon which my entire defense would now hinge aka THERE ARE NO SIGNIFICANT ANATOMICAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN CLOWNS AND HUMANS. That is to say i stood there in front of god (nonexistent) and man (painfully existent) and declared that once the skin came off, there was no reliable method of distinguishing clown meat from human meat, because while their behavior and appearance and presumed intelligence differed enormously–their anatomies did not.

I was so full of shit I should have burst like a balloon, but I said it with such conviction that everyone hesitated and took a step back.

Keep reading

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

(gore tw)

I stood in that hot, damp courtroom, surrounded by reporters, detested former customers, and my Texan lawyer in his silly white suit-and-mustache, and I listen in awe and occasional nausea as a New York City Coroner recounted to a shellshocked jury that one of the most common forensic issues that law enforcement encounters in new york is when bodies are pulled out of the harbor–in particular, severed body parts, which are a fine new york harbor tradition.

Keep reading

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

FINAL PART

Here is the secret. Here is the secret I never told anyone. Not any of those scientists or priests or reporters. Not my lawyer or that coroner whose testimony probably saved my life.

I spent decades butchering and selling clown meat, so I knew without a doubt that dead clowns are in fact very easy to distinguish from human corpses. Oh they look the same all right, but any clown butcher worth their salt can tell you the unique thing about clown meat–the reason that clown meat is so much easier to clean and cut and dress than any other type of animal flesh.

Keep reading

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

Me explaining my Grand Unified Theory Of Clown-Human Divergent Evolution to a jury of my peers:

unknown-kai

I’m sorry but I just HAD to do fanart of this

lichtenbug

Aaaand here’s some more

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

in conclusion:

(credit: @potooonakeyboard)

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

tumblr really does always have words to say huh

tentavamp

penis unbelievable, penis inconceivable, the true form of the penis will never be perceivable

amvs

cctinsleybaxter

‘x is the original girlboss!’ ‘y is the original girlboss!’ wrong. there’s one definitive answer to who the original girlboss is

silkirose

wait wait wait I just had an idea

silkirose

batsandboba

nothing compares to the calendar on this site. flat fuck friday. the halloween post that always shows up mid july. you see four anime girls and immediately know what day of the week it is. on the ides of march we all wake up and clown on some guy who got stabbed two thousand years ago. last week we celebrated down with cis day. I can’t wait for ever given and nov 5th anniversary memes. anyways have a lovely neil banging out the tunes day

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

look i would LOVE to fall asleep but sadly my brain is still waiting for Tonight’s Fantasy Scenario so i can spend 60-90 minutes daydreaming quietly in the dark while waiting for the gaping abyss of sleep to swallow me whole, i have a ROUTINE

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

#fanfic writer Villain Origin Story

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

Put $100 in the pocket of a low-income person, and it will circle through the local economy a dozen times in a week.

Put $100 in the pocket of bankers and hedge fund owners, and it gets hoarded away in an offshore bank account.

So tell me what type of "stimulus package" actually stimulates the economy

beowulf22121

an extra $20 in someones pocket becomes a trip to the coffee shop before work and they leave a generous tip. Then $20 comes out of the tip jar to buy everyone behind the counter something from the taco truck. Taco guy spends $20 on a ride home at the end of taco time. Cab driver spends $20 on a late dinner on the eay home. Food worker misses the last bus and hires an Uber instead of walking home, spending about $20.

Any economist worth their degree will tell you that 5 people spending the same $20 in a day is $100 worth of economic stimulation.

Meanwhile the rich persons $20 is just another $20 in a fund somewhere and they change nothing about their day, effectively turning that $20 into $0 worth of functional economy.

Info from: accountant friend, whom I speak of rather often.

flipocrite

The mattress CEO interviewed in Robert Reich’s documentary Inequality for All described it as something like “I own pretty much the best bed money can buy. If I double my money, am I going to buy another one? If I eat exactly what I want every day, will doubling my money make me eat twice as much? Of course not, the money ends up stashed away by people I pay to manage it. I literally make more money than I can spend. I used to believe in trickle-down economics, but I can see now that the money isn’t going anywhere. The 1% does not power the economy, it’s the middle-class that does. And it’s shrinking.”

ahallister

And, to be clear, what that means isn’t ‘give more money to the middle class’, the middle class is the driver of the economy because it *has* the money to spend on things and does so in a way that the wealthy do not. What it means is to give money to those who are *not* in the middle class so-as to elevate their means to where they can spend money the way that the middle-class does. The best way to gas up your economy is to grow the middle-class. Instead, what America does, is try to convince people making $15/hour that they are somehow ‘middle-class’, so that they will oppose a minimum wage hike that will make it clear that they are actually on the bottom rung of our society and deserve to be earning more.

insomniac-arrest

sunshine stretch

headbutt

soft look

slow blink

bitch cats know about love

saipng

new concept: tumblr jail

if a post gains more than 20 notes it goes on trial to determine whether it’s problematic or not. then the op is given the death penalty

I like how this seems to imply that op gets the death penalty regardless of whether their post is deemed problematic.

saipng

that’s exactly what happens

Time’s up, punk

saipng

well sh

miss-sagemoon

lolawashere-deactivated20240904

dechart

@jared-wormsboy i am crying uncontrollably

t-i-g-g-s

I reference this in conversation sometimes assuming everyone knows about the Owl Attack Sex Playlist and i look fucking unhinged

eurydizzy

maybe it’s dumb but…….. love is stored in humans finding out we can make heart shapes with our hands in different ways and teaching it to each other and doodling hearts on your friend’s math homework and booping your nephew’s nose and saying i love you as a farewell and giving flowers meanings and holding hands and the heart eyes emoji and in each other