strawberries, cut up by you

I'm trying to keep a lid on the hockey stuff so I don't start biting people and honestly it isn't working. There's other things wrong with me also xo

[mmmytelephone]

Updating my regular pinned post: M. 31. Any pronouns (tme) & bisexual. Sometimes writing and sometimes explicit

I do not apologise for dvoposting but you should maybe get some respite from that in the off season bc he likes to move in silence (update: this is proving to be false I cannot be stopped from dvoposting). I have some kind of dbtz brain fever also.

Athletics fan by birth, hockey fan by contagion. I can only thank Kat from the bottom of my heart for chewing my ear off about hockey for over a decade ily <3

Brief summary of what's wrong with me:

I block gossip blogs and anyone posting weird about my sweeties but other than that I'm usually down to clown!

[enterprisecentrebell]

[reagantheteenagewitch]

maybe if we keep speculating about mitch mcconnell more different repub senators will drop dead

[mmmytelephone]

My friend broke up with the useless man she was going to marry!!!!! One million klaxons women stay winning 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[mouthbrood]

ok computer show me men in pain

[liesofasilvertongue]

In light of this photo posted by @/teex……. Apparently sometimes Jamie just stands Like That??????

[baleful-meat-worm]

apologies to anyone who followed me for tma. cow studies :) ❤️

[cloudypost]

this guy went and got a JOKER TATTOO after signing a $18mil/5 year deal??? where are his fucking parents??? put his ass in time out????

they should have put that $90 mil right into collin graf's account he never woulda done some shit like this

[corpsecoded-deactivated20250106]

in the club getting psychosexual

[sovietunion]

[elevenkonecny]

bobby’s sweatshirt…

[avalonjoan]

Love that you’re making it clear exactly what physical demands this job has, but could you possibly, potentially, phrase it differently?

[teex]

PHI @ WSH 02.25.26

[pocketss]

remove brain

[mattymartin]

↳ NICO HISCHIER POSTGAME | NJD v. VAN | 1.23.26

[venndaai]

have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.

[venndaai]

they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you

[fluorescentbrains]

this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard

just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !

[muffinlance]

Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!

Eye-opening research: Greenland sharks maintain vision for centuries through DNA repair mechanism

Dorota Skowronska-Krawczyk sits in her office, eyes fixed on the computer monitor in front of her. "You see it move its eye," says the UC Ir

I <3 you a normal amount Greenland sharks

[swagophile]

women keep trying to do evil mindbreak hypnosis on me by being nice to me and telling me i'm doing a good job and offering me treats and saying i'm a really good girl and that i should try to be kinder to myself and maybe just take this moment to enjoy, just the two of us, no pressure, no mask, nothing more to be afraid of or to constrict or constrain, just be present and feel the warmth and comfort that comes from being cared for. theyre doing this because they want to hurt me sexually

[trangoldin]