Hi there
I’m Reb :)
I’m struggling with disordered eating, so I thought I might as well start a mini accountability blog to see how my relationship with food improves with time!
(see my goals here)
I somehow managed to recover from my eating disorder, but I’m still stuck with unhealthy eating habits when it comes to how I eat.
I’ve had an unhealthy relationship with food my whole life (pre-ED) because of how I grew up. We never had any food in the fridge aside from mayo and mustard, and with every trip to the grocery store, it was a free for all and everything was consumed in the first day and a half, and the rest of the week was pretty much just a yikes situation :D When my family got into a better financial situation, despite food being readily available these habits persisted and we still overate every day because of the irrational fear that the food might be gone the following day. Ultimately this resulted in my unhealthy consumption and now that I’ve recovered from a bigger demon, I’ve decided what the hecc, might as well treat my body with respect and fix this too
I do not engage in calorie counting and the food I consume doesn’t impact me mentally. Physically however? As I type I feel a tat bit sick because of my intake, but hey, that’s what this blog is for- overcoming this :)
I do hope to fully tune in with my body and overall lose around 10kg of fat, but that’s only really for the sake of my hobbies (sports).
Once again, I do not feel bad about what I eat or how I eat whatsoever- during consumption or after the fact. This is NOT an ED blog.
My disordered eating includes some of the habits I developed during my eating disorder too, where I essentially ignore any hunger (not going to go into details). This results in me either eating my daily intake (and sometimes more) in one meal (more or less OMAD, but correct me if I’m wrong- 2500+ calories per sitting is not the strat :D) or eating no breakfast, having a very tiny lunch, eating a decent dinner, and then snacking to keep the feeling of being full until about 3/4 hours before bedtime.
I estimate the calories I consume instead of counting, and I pretty much eat up to maintenance daily (I’m pretty sporty, so this comes up to about 3000 calories a day) which is pretty darn great. I’ll have to develop a small deficit overall (won’t be an issue considering I literally feel stuffed while eating maintenance) to lose the last bit of excess weight I’m hanging onto.
The goal for now is to get used to feeling satiated and maintaining that, rather than being at one extreme or the other (ignoring hunger vs being fully stuffed and maintaining that feeling). I'm hoping to learn to notice my hunger by asking my body if it’s either hungry, thirsty or bored and respond appropriately. If the answer is hungry, the main goal is to stop eating when I'm satiated rather than full to the brim and to allow myself to refuel in this manner for good!
As the blog name suggests: ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* moderation is key *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
So wish me luck!
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Throughout my update posts (structured “Day X”) I’ll highlight the thinking I see as problematic, to emphasize what I need to work on.














